The secret of the popular kids: Researchers find 'mind reading; abilities make children more likeable

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The research looked at 20 separate studies involving 2,096 children
Empathy was the common factor in making and maintaining friendships
This is especially true for girls, whose friendships involve more intimacy

By Ellie Zolfagharifard For Dailymail.com

Published: 12:51 EST, 15 April 2015 | Updated: 13:10 EST, 15 April 2015

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It's not about wearing the latest fashion or being on the football team; the secret to being popular at school is 'mind reading'.

This is according to an Australian study that found popular children are better at knowing what others want, think and feel.

The same goes for pre-schoolers and young adults, suggesting that empathy is one of the most important skills for becoming part of the 'cool crowd'

It's not about wearing the latest fashion or being on the football team; the secret to being popular at school is 'mind reading' (stock image used)

'Our study suggests that understanding others' mental perspectives may facilitate the kind of interactions that help children become or remain popular,' said Virginia Slaughter, professor of psychology at the University of Queensland.

The ability to find out what other people are thinking and feeling is called 'theory of the mind' and helps people distinguish, for instance, between sarcasm and insult.

While individual studies have shown an association with popularity in the past, this research looked across the findings of 20 different studies.

Together, the studies included 2,096 children from two to 10 years old from Asia, Australia, Europe, and North America.

The study found that the link was weaker for boys than girls, perhaps reflecting gender differences in how children relate to each other (stock image used)

As well as finding an overall link between children's abilities to empathise and their popularity, the study found that this connection was similar for pre-schoolers and for older children.

This suggests that understanding others' mental perspectives is important both for making friends in the early school years and for maintaining friendships as children grow older.

The study also found that the link was weaker for boys than girls, perhaps reflecting gender differences in how children relate to each other.

WHY YOUR FRIENDS ARE PROBABLY MORE POPULAR THAN YOU

Have you ever felt like your friends are more popular than you?

Statistically speaking, they probably are - no matter how busy your social calender may seem.

In fact, the more outgoing you are, the more likely you are to be caught in this 'friendship paradox', according to a new study.

The friendship paradox is based on the fact that you are more likely to be friends with someone who has more friends than with someone who has fewer friends.

Social people tend to have more friends, which means they are disproportionately represented in social networks. That means everyone's network is more extroverted than the population as a whole.

A study by Tuck Business School at Dartmouth College extends this so-called 'friendship paradox' beyond a purely mathematical claim.

Not only did the researchers show that extroversion bias exists in real-world networks, they found the effect is more pronounced in the networks of socially outgoing people.

For example, girls' friendships often have higher levels of intimacy and the need to resolve conflicts more often, which may mean that their interactions require more sensitivity.

'Our findings suggest that training children to be sensitive to others' thoughts and feelings may improve their relationships with peers,' Professor Slaughter said.

'This may be particularly important for children who are struggling with friendship issues, such as children who are socially isolated.'