Choreographing the past: Dancer records returning to her childhood home to deal with her father's cancer diagnosis in moving photo series

  • Shoccara Marcus moved from Brooklyn, NY to Atlanta, GA in 2011 after her father was diagnosed with cancer
  • She returned to her Georgia childhood home after living more than a decade away on her own
  • A dancer since she was four years old, she documents the transition in photo project, Choreographing My Past
  • The project is about the complexity of family dynamics as she expresses her feelings of isolation while trying to cope with her family remembering her as a little girl and refusing to accept the woman she has become

A dancer and photographer has captured her transition back into her childhood home after living more than a decade away on her own through a series of images.

After Shoccara Marcus received a call from her sister in 2011 that her father had been diagnosed with cancer, she packed up her things and within two weeks returned to her family's Atlanta, Georgia home.

In a project about the complexity of family dynamics, Marcus said she expresses her feelings of isolation, both metaphoric and literal, as she tries to cope with her family remembering her as the little girl she used to be while refusing to accept the woman she has become.

Shoccara Marcus returned to her Georgia childhood home after her father was diagnosed with cancer in 2011. A dancer since she was four years old, her way of coping with the transition was through dance (above Marcus climbs a wall as her father sleeps in the living room)

Shoccara Marcus returned to her Georgia childhood home after her father was diagnosed with cancer in 2011. A dancer since she was four years old, her way of coping with the transition was through dance (above Marcus climbs a wall as her father sleeps in the living room)

In Choreographing My Past, a photo series, Marcus said she expresses her feelings of isolation as she copes with her family remembering her as the child she used to be while refusing to accept her for the woman she has become

In Choreographing My Past, a photo series, Marcus said she expresses her feelings of isolation as she copes with her family remembering her as the child she used to be while refusing to accept her for the woman she has become

Marcus said: 'I am captured climbing up walls, crawling into window panels, hanging from doors, whereas my family members sit at the kitchen table, watch television, and maintain there daily lives'

Marcus said: 'I am captured climbing up walls, crawling into window panels, hanging from doors, whereas my family members sit at the kitchen table, watch television, and maintain there daily lives'

Choreographing My Past features Marcus in images where she is seen climbing, crawling and stepping through different rooms of her childhood home to 'mentally escape and maintain her sanity'.

However, in the end, she said she accepts the struggle finding love and acceptance in the space she shares with her family.

'By fitting myself into awkward places and positions I questioned where, how, and why, I fit into the family structure,' Marcus said in a statement.

'I am captured climbing up walls, crawling into window panels, hanging from doors, whereas my family members sit at the kitchen table, watch television, and maintain there daily lives.' 

Marcus, a dancer since she was four years old, was living in Brooklyn, New York pursuing a career as a professional dancer when she learned of her father's diagnosis.

Marcus said the experience forced her to revisit her past and also reevaluate her role in her family (Marcus above as her father takes medication)

Marcus said the experience forced her to revisit her past and also reevaluate her role in her family (Marcus above as her father takes medication)

Marcus said she has been working on the project for more than a year
She said in the end, she was able to accept the struggle, and found love and acceptance in the home with her family

Marcus said she has been working on the project for more than a year and said in the end, she was able to accept the struggle, and found love and acceptance in the home with her family

After her move to Atlanta, the project, which she has been working on for more than a year, unfolded while she was working on a photo series for a graduate studies class at Savannah college of Art and Design.

While home one day, she walked past her dad, who was fast asleep on the couch in the living room after a long day of dialysis treatment.

This was a moment that spoke to her and she decided to climb the wall, which was captured as the first image in the series.

'It was symbolic to how I have felt being back in the space and how we mentally exist in different worlds,' she said of that moment.

'This was the first image in the series that actually took me some time to understand. 

The images were captured throughout the house as she is seen performing a different move in each frame as she explores her place in the family structure

The images were captured throughout the house as she is seen performing a different move in each frame as she explores her place in the family structure

Using lights, a tripod and a timer, Marcus said each process of creating the images is different as she moves around the spaces in the home to capture the spontaneous moments

Using lights, a tripod and a timer, Marcus said each process of creating the images is different as she moves around the spaces in the home to capture the spontaneous moments

While she is waltzing around the home, her family members are seen maintaining their daily lives. She said because they are used to her dancing around the house it does not seem like anything unusual to them

While she is waltzing around the home, her family members are seen maintaining their daily lives. She said because they are used to her dancing around the house it does not seem like anything unusual to them

'From there I continued to create these images that demonstrated how I felt unseen and trapped within my own home.'

The images were captured throughout the house including the living room, at her family's kitchen table, in a bathroom and in bedrooms as she explores her place in the family structure and also the tensions of returning to her childhood home as an adult.

While she is seen performing a different move in each image, her family performs their daily routines while the timer flickers capturing the spontaneous moments.

The project, which Marcus said proved to be very emotional at times, was a way for her to cope with the transition through dance and helped her heal.

'Overall this project has allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of my family and myself,' she said. 'I have learned to accept and love them wholeheartedly.'

Marcus will present a selection of images from Choreographing My Past and a video installation on May 8, 2015 at Arnika Dawkins Gallery in Atlanta. 

'By fitting myself into awkward places and positions I questioned where, how, and why, I fit into the family structure,' said Marcus

'By fitting myself into awkward places and positions I questioned where, how, and why, I fit into the family structure,' said Marcus

The project gave her a deeper understanding of family and herself, and she learned to accept and love them wholeheartedly, she said
The project, which Marcus said proved to be very emotional at times, was a way for her to cope with the transition through dance and helped her heal

The project gave her a deeper understanding of family and herself, and she learned to accept and love them wholeheartedly, she said

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