Kylie Minogue opens up on how she's realised she can't have everything

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Kylie recently split from her boyfriend and manager and is starting afresh
She says that she's come to terms with the fact she may never be a mother
She is busier than ever with her role on the voice and her album release

PUBLISHED: 16:37 EST, 14 March 2014 | UPDATED: 05:54 EST, 15 March 2014

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By anyone's standards 2013 was quite a tumultuous year for Kylie Minogue.

Not only did she split from 35-year-old Spanish model Andrés Velencoso last October after five years, change her management team and then lose the assistant who'd been her right hand for more than a decade, she also signed up to be a judge on The Voice, a daunting first dip into the world of live TV talent shows.

Even so, it's a surprise to learn she chose to spend New Year's Eve at home on her own.

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Kylie says she is coming to terms with the fact that motherhood may not be on the cards for her

'I've never done that before,' she says. 'I felt, "No, I don't want to go anywhere. I really don't want to feel like I've got to go to a party because that's what I'm supposed to do." I couldn't wait to just not be bothered on New Year's Eve and just focus.

'I was thinking about the previous year, acknowledging everything that had happened and really projecting for this year. I've never been so still and focused. There's a lot of noise, everywhere I go there's stuff. So I'm feeling quite centred now which is really good and I feel like I've found steady ground - at least for the moment!

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'I was determined that last year was going to be a big year of change. Everything in my life changed. After having the same manager, an Australian, for 25 years, I got new management in LA. Americans work very differently to Brits and Australians, so it was like trying to learn a new language.

Kylie with her co-judges, Ricky Wilson, Sir Tom Jones and WILL.I.AM, on The Voice

'Then my assistant, who'd been with me for 12 years, moved back to Australia. So I was basically floundering around on my own, trying to keep my relationship going. He [Andrés] was very supportive throughout that, kind of acknowledging that I wanted a separation - not from him but from the old ways that I had. I'm sure that had something to do with our break-up.'

Her job on The Voice coincides with the release of her first studio album in four years, Kiss Me Once.

At 45 she's still confident enough to parade in a negligee in the video for the first single Into The Blue, which is about being alone and seems to be an assertion that it's OK not to be in a relationship.

So is that how she feels now? 'Well I hope so, otherwise I'm seriously not OK,' she laughs. 'I didn't write the lyrics but amazingly they just fit my life at the moment. I was still in a relationship when I recorded it, so it must be destiny because the song's coming to life more with my current frame of mind.'

Kylie's appearance on The Voice coincides with her latest album release - Kiss Me Once

Kylie Minogue talks about her new album 'Kiss Me Once'

In the past Kylie's said she goes for complex men, which could be a euphemism for difficult and volatile. INXS singer Michael Hutchence, for example, who committed suicide in 1997, and who said his favourite hobby was 'corrupting Kylie'.

Then there was model James Gooding, who sold the story of their affair to a newspaper.

Even French actor Olivier Martinez, who she went out with from 2003-2007 and who stood by her when she underwent treatment for breast cancer in 2005, has a fiery side that came out recently after a fracas with his wife Halle Berry's ex-partner that landed him in hospital.

Does she still go for the difficult type? 'I do, but that's not to say my last boyfriend wasn't complex. He was a super, super straight-up nice guy and I think I definitely learnt from him that you can date a nice, caring guy.'

Kylie Minogue with Andres Velencoso, who she once described as 'The one'

Old flames: Kylie with Michael Hutchence (right) who famously said his favourite hobby was corrupting Kylie, and with ex James Gooding who sold their affair to a paper

Kylie Minogue with Olivier Martinez who supported her through her cancer treatment

But didn't she once say Velencoso was The One? 'Yes. But I've thought that a few times.'

Does she mean when she's in a relationship, she's in it completely? 'Yes. I do fall rather hard.' So whose decision was it to break up, I wonder. 'I'm not going to go into any of that,' she says firmly. 'I love being in a relationship, except when you no longer should be in a relationship. But yes, I'm a romantic at heart. I love the idea of sharing your existence more deeply with someone. But I have enough to distract me when I'm not with someone.'

Even when she did think Velencoso was The One she would always side-step questions about whether marriage was for her. She has, however, been open about wanting children. She seems to have finally come to terms with the fact that may never happen.

'I don't know how many more times I can say, if it happens, it happens. But I think maybe part of this frame of mind I'm in, trying to be calm and accepting and at peace with where I am, is really acknowledging that it just might not be written on the pages for me. You can't have everything, so I'd rather just focus on what I have instead of what I don't have.'

Interestingly, three songs on the new album have variations of the word sex in the title. Maybe she's trying to tell us something.

'I'm trying to be calm and accepting and at peace with where I am. You can't have everything, so I'd rather just focus on what I have instead of what I don't have.'

'It's very noticeable, isn't it?' she says with a smile. 'There was a point about halfway through recording when my executive producer said, "We need a song that's sort of sexy!" Then, lo and behold, three came in and I thought, "Can I have three songs with sex in the title?" Well, yes I can because I didn't want to lose any of them and they all work in different ways.'

So is she feeling sexier? 'I might be singing about it but I'm a single girl. So we'll see what the future holds. But I'm singing about it from the mountaintops!'

Not many pop stars survive ten years in the business, let alone 25, but two years ago Kylie celebrated her quarter century as both a pop and style queen.

One of the reasons she's survived so long is that she's always reinventing her image or sound, keen to look forward rather than back.

'I've always been very curious,' she says. 'I find it weird explaining when people say you've changed your look or you've changed this or that because to me it's totally normal. Maybe if you're Bob Dylan you'll wear the same thing for 20 years. But I like fashion and I like the current wave of music. I like being involved in and being part of pop. I think if you're into pop, you're interested in change.

'Celebrating 25 years was fantastic, but towards the end of that year I started thinking, "OK, I've relived 25 years and done all the celebrating I need to do." I think that's where the yearning to change started. I just wanted to have a clean slate. Essentially I'm doing the same thing: making records and selling my wares and entertaining. But it's good to have a different energy around. You don't want to be just going around and around. I wanted some freshness.'

The singer was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005 but has since made a full recovery

She feels this new start is as dramatic as the one she experienced when she got back into her career after being diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2005.

She was in the middle of her Showgirl tour, but had to cut it short when she was forced to take 18 months off. 'I was diagnosed mid-tour, so that was my challenge, to finish it. I couldn't help but feel like it was a new beginning. You know, my hair started to grow back, I started to step back into the real world and I wasn't having so many medical appointments. I really felt like I'd got another chance. But this is very different. I feel like this is the beginning of the second half of my life.

'Mostly I don't feel 45. I actually feel younger than I felt a few years ago. It takes a while for your body to adjust,' she says, referring to the cancer.

'This might sound too much but I can't find another way of saying it. You have a kind of terror-memory of having gone through something so traumatic. Coming out of that I was soldiering on, saying, "I can do this, I can do this." But I was still dealing with stuff in my system. Right now I feel there are still things to do, that's why I'm amping up. I can't say the ageing process doesn't go through my mind from time to time. But distraction is a wonderful thing. I stay busy and I don't think about that stuff.'

Her primary distraction at the moment of course is The Voice, where she's been a revelation since her debut in January was said to have added two million viewers to the ratings. 'So they say,' she says, rather sceptically. So she's not taking the credit then? 'No, I'm not,' she insists. 'Because although I wasn't there in the other seasons, I'm told it's a different vibe this year.'

Kylie says she wants to be supportive and make people feel good in her judging role on The Voice

She doesn't refer directly to Jessie J, the mentor she replaced, but there's an implication that her abrasive style didn't go down well with the audience. 'I really like the fact that the warmth I feel, that everyone seems to feel, is translating and people are getting that when they're watching. It doesn't take away from the drama, you still have the ups and downs and twists and turns, but I'm not there to be bad cop. I like to make people feel good, to be true, realistic and always supportive.'

'I'm not there to be bad cop. I like to make people feel good, to be true, realistic and always supportive.'

She says that what we see on The Voice is not a performance, it's the real thing. 'The producers said, "The more you're yourself, the better it is." And I thought, "Well, that's a weird thing to say, but OK." Now I realise you really have no option. If you wanted to present yourself differently you'd have to be Meryl Streep, and I don't think Meryl was available.'

She says she's learnt stuff about herself too. 'I learnt that I'm a wriggler! Well, I've always known I'm a wriggler. I'm always moving and dancing. And I learnt I can do something I didn't know I could do, and that I can still have a brand new experience. Most of it is great, though some of it has been difficult. It's not nice telling people, "No". I was fearful of that but I learnt it's OK to be yourself and deal with it in your own way.'

Before she took on the role she spoke to her sister Dannii, sensitive that she might be treading on her toes. Dannii was widely acknowledged to have been a successful judge during her stint on The X Factor from 2007-2010, and last year she became a judge on Australian X Factor.

'It wasn't advice as such but I did speak to her before I signed on. I just wanted to make sure she was OK with it because she's the one with all the experience in that arena and it's her patch. But she was great. Really, really supportive and she thought I'd enjoy being a mentor. If I was nervous, she wasn't nervous for me.'

Kylie says that her and her sister Dani are closer than ever before

She and Dannii appeared in public together at the Brits last month, looking like they were loving each other's company.

'We're closer then ever now. I think because we're getting older. But also especially through me being ill. She was very much there for me. She's a mum now too and that must change everything. Since she's moved back to Australia, when she comes to London she stays with me so we have better quality time together. Shuffling around in the morning making cups of tea - not exactly as you'd see us on the red carpet!'

I wonder what they talk about when they're alone together. 'Normal sister stuff... cooking, home, her boy. But she's one of the few people who I can tell very little about my life and my world and how I'm feeling, and I know she understands. She gets it.'

Of course, Kylie's also known for her risqué outfits, most notoriously the gold hot pants she wore in the video for Spinning Around in 2000. She claims now she was surprised to find out only after filming what the camera was really focusing on.

'I actually didn't know the shot was that tight when we were filming,' she says. 'I was probably acting more up here,' she points to her face, 'and they were concentrating more down there! But it's like I'm conditioned. I walk around in the studio wrapped up beforehand, and when the red light goes on I do what I have to do... "That's showbiz!"' she says, throwing her arms open as if to disrobe. 'But I'm pretty comfortable doing most of that stuff, that's just who I am.

Kylie in her famous gold hot pants in 2000

'I have the same hang-ups every girl has though,' she insists. 'Maybe even more so sometimes when you've got to do photo shoots and videos. I don't want to be photographed some days. I'll say, "I don't feel comfortable in this stuff." But it's my job and I'll do my best to go through the grimace, to do what I have to do. Unless it's something I really don't want to wear, then it will just be, "That's not going to happen." But if it's something I think will look good I'll push through. I've always been pretty free-spirited like that. I just hope it's always tasteful.'

Kylie's been seeking the attention of audiences since she was eight, inspired by Olivia Newton-John in Grease. And if she can't find an audience she'll pose for an imaginary one. 'That little girl who always wanted to perform is still there,' she says, 'she hasn't left the building. In the past when I haven't been that busy I'd drive my friends mad. They'd say, "Can you just please go on a stage. The flea market in downtown LA is not the place to be posing." I pose in my sleep! I'm a performer. How much of it is about needing love I don't know, but I think it becomes that because you get a taste for it. The love and energy you get back is a beautiful thing.'

She's aware of a tendency to be over-caring, sometimes to her own detriment. 'I normally verge on being more concerned about others than myself. It's the people around me who want me to have a diva fit and I think, "Why? Why would I do that?"' Her natural emotional reflex is to put a brave face on things and smile her way through. Even when she had cancer her public face was usually a smile. 'I've smiled through a lot of things,' she laughs.

'They say if you're feeling bad and you smile you can feel better. I'm not that extreme. It could be part of a defence mechanism, or it could be that other people make me feel better. I don't know.'

Behind closed doors, though, she admits it was a different picture. 'Trust me, I felt pretty down. It weighed heavily on me. I felt for my family that they'd feel so helpless and you don't want to be the person who's worrying them so crazily. I can't imagine what it's like to be a parent and have that happen to your child. So yes, I tried to keep a brave face.

'My family are always there for me. They're the ones I'll go to and break down in front of. You have to have a safety net in your life and mine is them. I call them for happy things as well. My dad will have me in tears if he comes to my show and I can see him and his grin is...'

She's momentarily lost for words. 'I know what my parents sacrificed for us, having a young family and no money, and Dad working double jobs to ensure we had the most we could have. You can never repay your parents, can you?'

As much as she enjoys the glamour of pop superstardom, she also craves a normal life. Because she's had limited success in America, peaking over ten years ago when her album Fever reached No 3, when she stayed there last year to record Kiss Me Once she took full advantage of being able to do ordinary things without being recognised.

'It was great. I just had my car and I could drive to the studio, drive to the supermarket, everything was very simplified and I really enjoyed it. That might sound silly because it's just normal for most people but it's a kind of thrill for me.'

As she's proved so successfully on The Voice, deep down Kylie Minogue's still a very normal girl at heart.

The Voice, tonight, 7.15pm, BBC1. Kylie's album Kiss Me Once is out on Monday.