Hilarious flatshare advert offers a lads' dream home

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Listing posted on SpareRoom.co.uk looking for a male flatmate to move in
Advert boasts that Tunbridge Wells flat is located near four different pubs
It warns that the current residents will refuse to watch The Notebook or Bridget Jones's Diary and rarely clean up after themselves
Residents say they are 'not good-looking, rich or physically fit'

By Hugo Gye for MailOnline

Published: 08:19 EST, 1 June 2015 | Updated: 09:10 EST, 1 June 2015

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House-hunters who are worried about clashing with an overly fastidious flatmate will be delighted by a hilarious listing written by two men looking for a like-minded friend.

The advert posted online calls for a male housemate who enjoys kebabs and is excited about the possibility of being within an easy walk of four different pubs.

While some may consider it sexist to specify the gender of their new flatmate, the occupants have a simple explanation - they refuse to watch 'chick flicks' such as The Notebook.

The laddish flat might seem perfect for a party animal - as long as the new resident is happy to live in the genteel spa town of Tunbridge Wells, Kent.

Genteel: But one flat in Tunbridge Wells, pictured, has been advertised online as a lads' paradise

The three-bedroom property has been advertised on SpareRoom.co.uk at £280 per month for an individual or couple.

It is currently occupied by two men in their early 30s - one of whom, a designer named Kwok, wrote the rambling advert looking for the new flatmate.

He admits that the friends are frequently sloppy with the tidying up, and claims that the property reflects the utterly average traits of its occupants who are 'not good-looking, rich, or have any physical prowess'.

Kwok suggests that the room will be unsuitable for anyone who is concerned with cleanliness or has a job which requires them to look smart.

His only requirement for a flatmate is someone who speaks decent English and doesn't write messages which look like 'a chemical formula for infinite fuel'.

The amenities in the local area include four pubs in a 25-minute radius, plus 'some nice restaurants, supermarkets, takeaways and kebab shops', according to the ad.

Jokey: This flatshare listing was recently posted on SpareRoom.co.uk by the current residents

Snack: The ad says that there is room in the fridge for leftover kebabs after a night out

The householder writes: 'We generally try keep the flat tidy but because we are busy with work, going to the pub, and we're blokes and can't be bothered.

'We also have a fridge should you wish to keep your leftover kebab for breakfast the following morning.

'We would prefer a male flatmate as we don't like watching chick flicks like The Notebook, and Bridget Jones's Diary every evening.

'We are not good looking, rich, or have any physical prowess which would match Olympic athletes and we have worked extremely hard to convey these characteristics into our flat!'

He continues: 'I work as an amazing designer and I am deluded in the sense that I still think I can make something out of my life.

'I am Hong Kong Chinese, I was born and bred in Tunbridge Wells, and even went to university. My other flatmate works at Sainsbury's and loves it.

Banned: 'Chick flicks' such as The Notebook and Bridget Jones's Diary are frowned upon

'I would also like to make a point that you have a general grasp of the English language - I have had some emails in the past from past flatmate-finding periods which I could not make heads or tails out of.

'At one point I thought it was some chemical formula for infinite fuel you have forwarded to me by mistake instead of to NASA.

'I am not looking for perfect spelling or grammar as I make mistakes all the time. I can do txt spk ;-), I speak Cantonese, and I have a basic understanding of Cockney rhyming slang (so if you do come to visit I shall guide you up the apples and pears and also make you a cup of Rosie Lee).

'If you have OCD this flat may not be what you're looking for, if you wear a suit to work this flat may not be what you're looking for, if you require constant attention and love being praised all the time for just minor achievements this flat may not be suited for you

'If you think you've got what it takes to be Lord Alan Sugar's next apprentice this flat may not be what you're looking for.'

However, interested flathunters may have to take Kwok's claims on trust - he does not provide any photographs of the accommodation on the internet listing.