What's in a name?
That's what every bookie in Vegas is currently trying to figure out.
Speculation has already begun as to what Kim and Kanye West will name their son, who is due to be born in December, and like everything else associated with Kimye, there's a lot of money riding on it. Believe it or not, the people who'll take your bet are currently big on the names King and Kieran.
King West has a nice ring to it, especially if you're a streetcar.
King Kong West, maybe not so much.
Kim Kardashian announced the upcoming baby boy in a subtle fashion, by posting a picture of Kanye reading to their daughter, North, on Father's Day. The accompanying text went like this:
“Precious moments like this when we were traveling on tour with you are what I live for. You're such a good daddy to North & you will be the best daddy to our new son too!”
Aha! It's a boy! The world knew thereafter.
In early June, before anyone knew the baby's gender, the bookies were betting heavily on East or South for the child's name.
You can forget all that. Mrs. West has already said that further compass points are not under consideration; little Miss North West will not have any directional competition from her little brother.
What, then? Robert, after her father? Ray, after Kanye's father?
Ray might not be an allowed name in the household, now that we think about it.
How about Doctor Jr., then? (Kanye is Dr. West, having been awarded an honorary doctorate from the School of the Art Institute in Chicago last month.)
We happen to think Go West and Wild West — Go and Wild being appropriate for busy boys — are cool names, although by 'cool' we mean what works in celebrityville.
While regular folk are calling their kids Michael, Noah, Oliver, Abigail, Ava or Maddie, the high-profile are inclined to this sort of thing: Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence. That's the name of the daughter of Uma Thurman. Bronx Mowgli and Saint Lazslo are the sons of Pete Wentz; Jamie Oliver's kids are named Poppy Honey Rosie, Buddy Bear, Daisy Boo Pamela, and Petal Blossom Rainbow.
Nicolas Cage's child is Kal-El; Moxie CrimeFighter and Zolten Penn are the children of Penn Gillette; Pilot Inspektor is Jason Lee's kid and Audio Science is Shannyn Sossamon's little ankle biter.
Lest we forget, Jermaine Jackson named his son Jermajesty 14 years ago.
And long, long before that, Frank Zappa named his children Moon Unit, Dweezil, and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen.
There's nothing new under the sun, so bring it on, Mr. and Mrs West. It's unlikely you can come up with anything that will charm, shock or even horrify, in this crowd.
It should be said that with young baby West due in December, names such as Jesus, Yeezus, and Khrist — the K to honour the Kardashian klan, of course — are all possibilities.
Furthermore, one should not rule out names such as Napoleon, Attila, Beowulf, Xerxes, Takeshi, Ptolemy, Ludvig, Agamemnon, Tupac, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.
Baby West could be named Cornel West, after the famed scholar and civil rights activist. He might be called Benjamin West, after the painter, or even Nathanael West, after the writer.
Best Jest West is a good name if he decides to grow up to be a clown.
Adam West would suit a future crime fighter.
Professor West would command respect.
Blessed West, Pest West, Palm Beach West or even Best Dressed West might work, too.
Or maybe not.