Tinder dater Michelle Thomas writes open letter after being told she was TOO FAT

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Michelle Thomas, 30, from Crystal Palace went on a Tinder date
The next day she received a message from him criticising her figure
He said she was pretty and interesting but too big for him
Have you had a nightmare Tinder date? Email femail@mailonline.co.uk

Published: 01:54 EST, 8 July 2015 | Updated: 03:41 EST, 8 July 2015

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A 30-year-old blogger and cafe manager from south London has been hailed a feminist hero after she took to the internet and criticised a man who told her she was too fat to date.

After their evening together, the unnamed man sent Michelle Thomas, from Crystal Palace, London, a message to let her know he found her very interesting but didn't think he could find her body attractive.

Horrified at what it contained, Michelle decided to share it on her blog and write an open response that has since gone global.

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Michelle Thomas, 30, from Crystal Palace went on a Tinder date and the next day she received a message from him criticising her figure

Michelle Thomas met a man on Tinder and the pair went for a date on London's South Bank that included drinks in a pub, a meal and then a walk along the Thames.

The evening ended with a kiss and the pair headed back to their respective homes.

But the next day, her date sent her a message that informed her he wouldn't be following up their date with another because he didn't think he could get turned on by her figure.

It read: 'I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You're cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won't.

'I'm not going to bull***t you... I f***ing adore you Michelle and I think you're the prettiest looking girl I've ever met. But my mind gets turned on my someone slimmer.

'Shallow? It's not meant to be. It's the same reaction you get when you read a great author or see an amazing image, or listen to a piece of music you love, it has that instant reaction in you that makes you crave more.

Michelle Thomas from Crystal Palace met a man on Tinder and the pair went for a date on London's South Bank that included drinks in a pub, a meal and then a walk along the Thames

'So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God...I really, really am), I can't say the same about your figure.

'So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don't want that to happen baby.

'We could be amazing friends, we could flirt and joke and adore each other and.... f*** me... I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl because what you have in that mind of yours is utterly unique, and I really really love it.

'I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm trying to avoid bigger pain in the future by telling you now so we don't have to go through that embarrassment.

'I'm a man... With all the red hot lusts of a man and all the failings of a man and I'm sure of my own body and its needs.'

After reading the message, Michelle promptly burst into tears, but after a few days she decided to share the note on her Facebook page and a local blog with an open response.

Since posting the letter, Michelle has had hundreds of messages from both men and women

The response included the following: 'You don't have to fancy me. We all have a good friend who we look at ruefully and think “you're lovely, but you just don't tickle my pickle”, and that's fine.

'What isn't fine is the fact that, after a few hours in my company, you took the time to write this utterly uncalled-for message. It's nothing short of sadistic.

'Your tone is saccharine and condescending, but the forensic detail in which you express your disgust at my body is truly grotesque. The only possible objective for writing it is to wound me.

'And I'm ashamed to say, for a few moments, it worked. You stirred a dormant fear that every woman who was ever a teenage girl has – that it doesn't matter how funny you are, how clever, how kind, how passionate, how loyal, how determined or adventurous or vibrant – if you're a stone overweight, no one will ever find you desirable.

'What truly concerns me, the real reason I'm responding so publicly, is the fact that you have a 13 year old daughter.

'I want you to encourage your daughter to love, enjoy, and care for her body. It belongs to her and only her.'

Since posting the letter, Michelle has had hundreds of messages from both men and women thanking her for sharing the story.

Some have relayed their own experiences, while others have shown the letter to sons and male pupils in the hope that it deters them from objectifying women in a similar way.

After reading the message, Michelle decided to share the note on her Facebook page and a local blog

Michelle told FEMAIL: 'People shared the letter and responded to it in such a way that they wanted to show it to specific friends of theirs, which was incredible and very validating.

'I've had hundreds of messages from women who have had similar things said to them.

'But my favourite outcomes are the men who contacted me saying they've shown it to their son as they don't want them to grow up like that.

'Another person I know who is a teacher sent it to a class of his 15 year old charges, showing them not to act towards a woman.'

While Michelle has been upset by the message, she is refusing to let if damage herself esteem and is pleased at how it has kick-started conversations about body-shaming.

She said: ' It shows me really need to talk about our bodies and why we have such warped values of physical mass.

'The impact of body-shaming is going to affect us for years to come.'

Michelle can be found tweeting at @onepoundstories

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