'It made me a bit more feral': Kristen Stewart on how she survived the 'traumatic' scandal of her affair with director Rupert Sanders as she stars on the cover of Marie Claire 

  • The actress, 25, had an affair with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders, while she was dating Robert Pattinson
  • She tells the magazine that in doing so, she 'lit her universe on fire'
  • These days, she isn't letting the bad stuff get her down - and she says she's not saying 'sorry' as often as she used to

By Carly Stern For Dailymail.com

Published: 10:35 EST, 13 July 2015 | Updated: 12:15 EST, 13 July 2015

Kristen Stewart has opened up about how her scandalous affair with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders turned her world upside down - and how she managed to overcome the controversy and eventually move on with her life.

The actress, 25, spoke to Marie Claire about the 'traumatic period' that led to her split from then-boyfriend and former Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson, while also posing on the cover of the magazine, which comes out next week.

Wearing a heavily embellished floral sweater and distressed jeans, the star of the upcoming film American Ultra gives off her signature aloof stare as she appears on the front of the August issue, in which she discusses 'starting over after one bats**t crazy year'.

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Cover girl: Kristen Stewart appears on the August issue of Marie Claire magazine, out next week

Cover girl: Kristen Stewart appears on the August issue of Marie Claire magazine, out next week

Discussing her past: Inside, the actress talks 'very candidly' about her cheating scandal and how it 'lit her universe on fire'

Discussing her past: Inside, the actress talks 'very candidly' about her cheating scandal and how it 'lit her universe on fire'

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'I lit my universe on fire and I watched it burn,' she said. 'Speaking very candidly, it was a really traumatic period in my early 20s that kick-started something in me that was a bit more feral.'

In July of 2012, photos surfaced showing Kristen and Rupert, 44, getting a little too close and personal; the images, which made headlines around the world, showed the pair kissing and embracing during a day out in Los Angeles.

At the time, Rupert was married to model Liberty Ross, with whom he has two children, and Kristen was in a years-long relationship with British actor Robert Pattinson, 29.

While the scandal - and the ensuing dissolution of both Kristen and Rupert's relationships - were tabloid fodder for months, the actress claims now that she didn't let the incident destroy her. After pulling back from the spotlight for a little while, she says that these days she can more easily find perspective. 

Growing up: The 25-year-old claims that she used to worry much more when she was younger, but she has gotten better at managing her anxiety

Growing up: The 25-year-old claims that she used to worry much more when she was younger, but she has gotten better at managing her anxiety

Serious scandal: In 2012, photographers captured Kristen getting cozy with director Rupert Sanders (right)

Serious scandal: In 2012, photographers captured Kristen getting cozy with director Rupert Sanders (right)

'I’m really proud that I am able to move forward and not fall into every mental crater,' she admitted. 'That’s a new thing for me. Age has made me smarter and calmer. And it is f***ing awesome.'

She went on: 'Between ages 15 and 20, it was really intense. I was constantly anxious. I was kind of a control freak. If I didn’t know how something was going to turn out, I would make myself ill, or just be locked up or inhibited in a way that was really debilitating.'

Now, though, Kristen has more confidence in her decisions. Instead of apologizing for them, she's standing strong and taking ownership of what she wants.

'Lately, I’ve been doing less of the "I’m sooooo sorry" and more of the "No",' she explained. 

The consequences: The affair led to the end of her relationship with Robert Pattinson (right), as well as Rupert's divorce from model Liberty Ross

The consequences: The affair led to the end of her relationship with Robert Pattinson (right), as well as Rupert's divorce from model Liberty Ross

Active love life: Kristen has recently begun dating her personal assistant, Alicia Cargile (left

Active love life: Kristen has recently begun dating her personal assistant, Alicia Cargile (left

One thing she's not apologizing for? Dating whom she wants. Recently, Kristen began seeing her personal assistant, Alicia Cargile, romantically. The couple has been spotted out and about in Los Angeles holding hands, though Kristen has yet to speak out about the relationship.

That new attitude also comes from feeling more secure in how she looks. The actress explained that she used to use her long hair as a crutch, being something that she could hide behind and always look 'sexy' with, regardless of what else was going on.

Once she cut her hair, though, she 'had to let my face hang out' - something that might leave some women feeling vulnerable, but which made Kristen feel even more confident.

'Maybe to most people long hair is prettier,' she said. 'But then what? Is your main goal in life to be desired? That is boring as f***.'

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