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'I always felt female and that scared me': Caitlyn Jenner admits she 'wasted a lot of her life' as she discusses struggling to accept her true self in moving video

Published: 22:15 EST, 15 July 2015 | Updated: 08:55 EST, 16 July 2015

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Caitlyn Jenner spoke candidly about her transition from male to female in an emotional clip that aired at the ESPY Awards on Wednesday.

Just before the 65-year-old went on stage to be presented with the Arthur Ashe Courage Award, she shared an insight into her struggle to accept herself.

Caitlyn admitted that she felt pressure to live up to everyone's expectations of Olympian Bruce Jenner.

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Sharing her story: A tribute to Caitlyn Jenner shown at the ESPY Awards on Wednesday gave an insight into her struggle to come to terms with her true self

Honored: After the clip, the 65-year-old was presented with the Arthur Ashe Courage Award

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'I’ve always known that I was different from everybody else,' she shared. 'I could play at that time the male role but I always felt female and that scared me.'

The athlete, who has been married and divorced three times, added: 'Relationships were always tough for me. I always felt like I was hiding myself from everybody the only way I could get through life was by distractions.'

Now that Caitlyn has transitioned, she wished she had done it sooner.

'I would feel like a liar all the time,' she admitted. 'It’s too bad because I wasted a lot of my life and nobody really knew who I am.'

Caitlyn Jenner's emotional ESPYs speech as she thanks family

History: The video tribute featured scenes from the 1976 Montreal Olympics where Jenner won the decathlon gold medal

Outsider: Jenner, who lacked self-confidence gorwing up, had thrown himself into sports as a teen as a way of fitting in

Muscular: The video reminded everyone of how Jenner looked at the peak of his athleticism

Strong: Jenner's physical strength and intensive training routine enabled him to master 10 individual sports

Hero: Jenner's Olympic victory won him the adulation of the nation

In the tribute, narrated by actor John Hamm, video and photos were used to recount the life Jenner led and the athletic achievements that catapulted him to stardom.

His Olympic victory made him a household name, won him major endorsements and made him an icon that others looked up to and aspired to be like.

There was a price to pay for that, Caitlyn said in the video.

'I was living my life for other people who wanted to be like Bruce Jenner. It felt like I couldn’t let them down,' she said.

Struck gold: Jenner was the All-American hero and got his image on the front of a Wheaties box

Role model: Youngsters looked up to Jenner and sought to emulate him and he wrestled with his true feelings because he didn't want 'to let them down'

Pubic image: With fame came struggle for someone who was a male hero but inside had always felt female

Wearing: The burden of keeping his secret wore Jenner down over the years and he even considered suicide as a way out

With the fame and publicity came a responsibility to live up to expectations and the way the world perceived you to be, Caitlyn said, and it was a struggle to deal with the strain of keeping her true self hidden.

'When you go through your life with secrets constantly, it just, after a while, it wears on you,' she said.

'At one point in my life, am I going to have to deal with who I am? Everyone thinks I’m the big hero. And they knew nothing about me.'

So, the former athlete revealed, she made a decision to start doing some things for herself so she could start feeling better about herself.

Facing the truth: 'Everyone thinks I’m the big hero. And they knew nothing about me,' Caitlyn said, reflecting on the decision to start trying to live more honestly

Tough journey: Keeping secrets constantly was a huge strain on the reality star

Painful process: There wasn't just psychological and emotional trauma involved in transitioning but there was physical pain too

However, once Jenner began taking the first steps towards a new life, something else dawned on the 65-year-old.

'I came to a revelation, out of all the things I have done in my life, that maybe this is my calling: To take my struggle, throw it out in front of the world,' Caitlyn said.

'Maybe I can bring understanding on this subject and do my best.'

Calling: Caitlyn said she believes that by putting her struggle out in front of the world, it will bring understanding and mean that being transgender 'is not something that people have to die over'

The touching video ends with Caitlyn sitting on a sofa with her mother Esther and her sister Pam, laughing and holding hands.

'He couldn’t open up to us because he couldn’t tell us his deepest feelings and I had no idea,' Esther said. 'Of all people, your mother should have a good insight to that.'

'I never thought that I could ever be more proud but I was wrong,' she went on. 'I am even more proud now and, believe me, I am not losing anything. I am gaining a better relationship with my child.'

As it was meant to be: Caitlyn was seen with her mom Esther and sister Pam finally being her true self with her family

Acceptance: Caitlyn had her family's blessing as they embraced her courage

Honored: Caitlyn was presented with the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage in Sports by U.S. soccer player and Olympic gold medalist Abby Wambach, who is gay