'Firemen had to rescue me from the side of the freeway!' People confess their most embarrassing drunken behavior in cringe-worthy online thread 

By Carly Stern For Dailymail.com

Published: 12:24 EST, 17 July 2015 | Updated: 17:14 EST, 17 July 2015

We've all been there - downed a few too many, then looked back in horror at the way we behaved the next day.

But while some people are relieved to put their alcohol-triggered bad behavior behind them, a few have been generous enough to relive their most embarrassing inebriated moments for other people's amusement. 

Hundreds of Reddit users chimed in on a recent thread to tell their own stories of drunken debauchery, liquid confidence, and ill-timed bodily functions.

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Shots, shots, shots! Redditors shared their most embarrassing drunken stories online today

Shots, shots, shots! Redditors shared their most embarrassing drunken stories online today

Predictably, many of the stories shared on the thread featured vomit.

One described imbibing a bit too much on a second date in an episode that should have precluded any chance of a third date.

'I threw up all over his shoes after drinking a few too many Ommegang Three Philosophers,' she said. 'Then I sat there in my car while we were making sure that I was done puking (and he could get me home) and told him that he should just give up on me. You can't recover from shoe puke.

 I got kicked out of a club for twerking multiple times. I'm a six-foot tall, 200lb man

Luckily, she added, she did in fact recover - and has been dating the understanding man for two years now.

One man explained how he didn't even get a first date because he threw up: 'I was in a bar sitting at a booth with some friends and this girl I liked when I got the sudden urge to puke. I couldn't really get to the bathroom because I was sitting in the middle, so I grabbed to closet thing to me, which was the ashtray, and proceeded to lose my dinner. As you can imagine, the ashtray quickly overflowed and spilled onto the table.' 

And boozy barf isn't the only bodily fluid that made multiple appearances in the thread.

'[I] took a naked p**s out of the window of a friend's room only to find out the next day that he lived across from a girls' dorm, who apparently saw the show,' said one man.

Another recalled how insult was added to injury as his embarrassing moment included a very real fear for his life: 'P***ed up a guy's house and then ran with my d*** out whilst he chased me with a machete.'

What did I do? Many commenters told stories of throwing up or urinating in public, while others were caught without clothes on

What did I do? Many commenters told stories of throwing up or urinating in public, while others were caught without clothes on

Some of the funniest anecdotes about intoxication, though, are clean and fluid-free - they just involved a whole lot of misplaced confidence.

'I got kicked out of a club for wall-twerking multiple times,' wrote one Redditor before admitting that it was likely because he's not the average twerker and is, in fact, a six-foot-tall, 200lb man.

Another bragged about his financial situation in the face of someone who was struggling with poverty: '[While] blacked out, [I] kept telling a girl whose family was on food stamps that I was richer than her. I felt terrible and remembered none of it.'

One guy's overconfident behavior came back to bite him immediately, as he was left naked and alone by his buddies.

'I was on the beach with a bunch of my friends in college and yelled, "Let's go skinny dipping!"' he explained. 'I immediately stripped down butt naked and jumped in the ocean. No one followed me. They all just laughed at me instead and then ran off with my clothes. I had to run back to the beach house by a couple of other families completely naked, covering my junk.'  

Blacked out: Some people admitted that they couldn't remember their questionable behavior, and were told stories about it the next day

Blacked out: Some people admitted that they couldn't remember their questionable behavior, and were told stories about it the next day

Some other regrettable behavior involved begging a girlfriend not to break up, accidentally texting a mother instead of a girlfriend, and walking to a Las Vegas hotel vending machine without pants on.

'Thank god, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,' that person wrote.

Another user discussed getting drunk before a high school band concert that he was supposed to play in. While he managed to get out of performing while inebriated, he said: 'I apparently tried to sell my phone for a waffle to my band director.'

I yelled, "Let's go skinny dipping" and immediately stripped down butt naked, but no one followed me

One young man, while 21 years old and on a Navy trip to Hawaii, was clearly still getting accustomed to alcohol when he learned a valuable lesson about his limits.

'I remember going below deck and saw someone I didn't know. I pulled a gun on them and snuck up all mission impossible,' he wrote, admitted that it wasn't a very bad idea before adding: 'I am sure I [messed] with his mind. I had a shotgun at his head screaming.'

There was some good news to be found in the thread, though, as one Redditor explained that his bad experience finally made him sober up.

'[I] refused to drive and decided to walk home,' he wrote, adding that it was a 20 mile journey. 'Woke up on the side of the freeway with a fireman kicking me, saying, "Get up. We are getting calls about a dead body."

'That was the last major bender I ever went on.'

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