Faigy Mayer's friend reveals her anguish over estrangement from her family

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Friend of Faigy Mayer revealed she was suffering deep depression
Libelle Polacki told the Daily Mail Online that Mayer was conflicted
Mayer left her Hasidic Jewish faith because she felt it was too restrictive
Battled with the pain this caused her parents and attended support group
Her mother expressed bitterness when asked about her daughter's death
Tech entrepreneur was developing an app for Hasidic Jews who left faith
Friends and family gathered for emotional funeral for Mayer on Tuesday
Jumped to her death from 230 Fifth Rooftop Bar on Monday night

By Louise Boyle In Brooklyn For Dailymail.com

Published: 14:16 EST, 21 July 2015 | Updated: 08:53 EST, 22 July 2015

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A friend of the tragic startup founder who leapt 20 stories to her death from a New York City rooftop bar has laid bare the anguish her estrangement from her Hasidic Jewish family caused.

Faigy Mayer, 30, who jumped from the top of 230 Fifth Bar in Manhattan on Monday night, was battling depression, revealed Libelle Polaki, 26.

She told the Daily Mail Online that Mayer's suicide followed her agonizing split from her parents' religion because she 'didn't want to be a mom with 20 kids'.

According to Polaki the last time she saw Mayer her friend was struggling and said that while other factors may have led to her suicide, 'her past and her family situation may have exacerbated it.'

Heartache: Faigy Mayer (left) with her friend Libelle Polaki at the Swedish summer fair they both attended on June 19

Tragedy: Faigy Mayer left her Hasidic Jewish community when she was 24. This decision caused her parents and Mayer to become estranged

And in a clear sign of the frustration her family still feel towards Mayer for leaving their tightly knit Hasidic community in Brooklyn, her own mother was bitter when asked about her daughter’s death.

'I knew she was struggling but I thought that day that she seemed to be doing so well.'

Faigy Mayer's friend Libelle Polacki last saw her on Sunday at a Swedish summer festival

Chava Mayer told Daily Mail Online: 'I don't want to say anything. What am I supposed to say: That she's a wonderful person? No, we don't want to comment.'

Mayer’s father, Israel Mayer, also refused to comment as friends and family gathered for an emotional funeral in Brooklyn at the Shomrei Hadas Chapel in Brooklyn.

Libelle Polaki told Daily Mail Online that Faigy made the break with the Hasidic community when she was 23 or 24 years old.

'The religious lifestyle was not for her. It would never have allowed her to have her own life and her own personality.

'We went to an extremely strict high school. It was very tough.

'She didn't want to be a mom with 20 kids.

'She didn't want to be restricted, she wanted her freedom to pursue her talents and she was very clever.

‘She had friends in the last few years who supported her for who she was.'

Popular: The 230 Fifth Rooftop Bar is one of the most crowded open air drinking areas in Manhattan and attracts a varied crowd. Faigy Mayer leapt from the top of the bar on Monday night in full view of other patrons

Passed away: Faigy Mayer, 30, had founded her own start-up that was developing an app for ex-Hasidic Jews who had left the faith and were struggling to adapt to the hustle and bustle of New York City

Service held for tech entrepreneur who leapt off NYC roof

But she may have struggled with the break from such a tight knit community.

Polacki said: 'She came from a large family, she loved her nieces and nephews and she missed them.

'She has limited contact with her family and they were not supportive of her but they may not have had the ability to be.'

Miss Polaki said that she was unaware of her friend having any problems with romantic relationships and although she may have been dating, she did not have a boyfriend at the time of her death.

When the Daily Mail Online contacted Mayer's ex-boyfriend, Evan Gardiner, at his home in Austin, Texas, he said: 'I'm sorry I don't want to talk about that' before hanging up the phone.

The deep-rooted anxiety her decision to leave caused played on her mind said Polaki, who last saw her friend at the Swedish Festival on June 19.

'She had problems from the inside and she was in a lot of pain. I guess she did suffer from mental illness but it was exacerbated from her life before.

Libelle Polaki explained Mayer's state of mind before her suicide on Monday

'We hung out and had a great time,' said Polaki.

'I knew she was struggling but I thought that day that she seemed to be doing so well.'

Jonathan Corbett, who had been friends with Faighy for the past two years and is a 31-year-old software developer, told Daily Mail Online that he believed leaving the insular community she has been part of for 25 years had a devastating effect on her emotionally and psychologically.

He said: 'it was clear that she was struggling without the love of the people she grew up with.

'It's hard to know what kind of effect that essentially being shunned had on her.'

He said: 'Faighy had a psychologist to talk to, she had medication and she has friends she could call but she decided this life was not for her.

'After 25 years of being in this little bubble in Brooklyn, she struggled financially and had to find a career but she came to be passionate about programming.

'But she had all this stuff stacked against her.

Indeed, Mayer, who worked as an iOS developer and founded her own startup Appton, was working on producing an app for ex-Hasidic Jews to navigate NYC after the difficult step to leave their families.

Polaki, 26, said: 'First of all she was very passionate and eager to help others even when she didn't have it easy at all.

'We both went to the same high school and have both left the Hasidic community and joined an organization called Footsteps. When I was trying to leave she reached out to me.

'She was extremely passionate about coding and was about to launch an app for the iPhone and she loved to go to hackathons where people compete to show off their computer coding skills against the clock.

'She wanted to make apps that would help people who had left the Hasidic community. '

A hackathon is a programing contest held over a weekend for coders to hone their skills. It is not related to attempting to gain access to secure systems to cause damage or steal data.

Distraught: Friends and family of Mayer who plummeted to her death from a Manhattan bar on Monday gathered for her funeral

Community: Members of Brooklyn's Hasidic Jewish community turn out for the funeral of Faigy Mayer

Service: The casket containing the body of Faigy Mayer is prayed over at the Shomrei Hadas Chapel in Brooklyn

Grief: Mourners gather at Shomrei Hadas Chapel in Brooklyn to mark the loss of Faigy Mayer - who died on Monday

Final resting place: The body of Feigy Mayer is taken from the Shomrei Hadas Chapel to be buried on Tuesday

Agony: Mayer struggled with her decision to leave her Hasidic family and joined a support group for help with adjusting to the hectic life in a big city

But on Monday, Mayer sprinted toward a row of bushes on the roof's edge at 230 Fifth Rooftop Bar in the Flatiron District at about 7.30pm, onlookers said.

She went over the wall and landed on the sidewalk of West 27th Street, 20 stories below.

'I was walking across the street and I saw she was falling,' Dale Martin, who witnessed the incident, told the New York Post. 'You can tell it was a lady. She had on shoes and a dress.'

Polaki, a student who lives in Brooklyn, said that she believed a lot of factors contributed to her friends death but that her past and her family situation may have exacerbated it.

'I think her family was on her mind but I don't think it is fair to just blame her family,' said Polaki.

'She had problems from the inside and she was in a lot of pain.

'I guess she did suffer from mental illness but it was exacerbated from her life before.

It's not an easy journey (to leave the Hasidic Community) it takes a lot of courage and she had a lot of bravery.'

Striking out on her own: Faigy featured in a documentary aired on National Geographic which explored the ramifications of leaving extremely restrictive religions

Talking: The support group Footsteps helped Mayer (right) come to terms with her decision to leave her Hasidic background behind

Onlookers said she ran through a group of people toward bushes lining the edge of the roof before she jumped. She then fell 20 stories to her death (file photos)

It was a journey that Mayer started when she was three-years-old, when she claimed to have realized she had no interest in learning Yiddish or Hebrew or for the orthodox ways of Hasidic Jews.

Her struggle led her to take part in a 2012 National Geographic Documentary entitled Inside Hasidism, which examined the unique pressures of the secretive religious community, which has approximately 125,000 followers in New York City alone.

Mayer explains during the course of the documentary that she eschewed Hasidism and because of that was thrown out of her home by her own parents although she says she was later reunited with them.

In the documentary she explains how she remembers having no interest in Yiddish or Hebrew from an early age.

'I wanted to transition out at a very fast speed,' said Mayer. 'And it was so challenging emotionally.'

The program covered her journey working with the group, Footsteps, which helps those who have left ultra-religious Jewish communities.

'My parents they were like, point blank, you have to get out of here because you are not religious anymore,' said Mayer who added that her parents did take her back into their home.

Growing up in the Belz Hasidic communities of Williamsburg and Borough Park in Brooklyn, Mayer did not want to get married as was expected of her and left her family to start a new life in Manhattan.

However, the strain of this schism with her family appeared to weigh heavily on Mayer.

Popular: The Brooklynite had just arranged to move homes from Williamsburg to the now trendy area of Greenpoint

In certain posts to social media, she alludes to troubles with relatives and in one Facebook update poses with a woman she identifies as her grandmother, whom she says openly dislikes her.

At the beginning of the month, Mayer appeared to take a trip down memory lane, posting nostalgic pictures to Facebook of some of her favorite places as a child in Williamsburg.

Picking out Greens Pizza parlor in the center of Hasidic Williamsburg as a place with special significance, she also posted a photograph of her aunt's stoop, which is nearby.

Mayer graduated from Touro College with a bachelor's degree and achieved a master's in accounting from Brooklyn College.

The highly educated web-developer had recently been awarded a certificate in Data Science Specialization from Johns Hopkins University.

Food pics: At the beginning of the month Mayer posted this picture of her bacon, egg and cheese sandwich to Instagram

British pub: In June, Mayer posted this picture of her Bangers and mash meal that she enjoyed at The Shakespeare in Manhattan

In posts to social media, Mayer describes herself as an ex-Hasid who likes coding, bacon, the Apple Watch and life.

The food lover also uploaded pictures of her culinary adventures and on June 21 posted about needing some help moving out of her Brooklyn apartment.

'Paid job: looking for someone to help me move on Sunday, June 28, from Greenpoint to a 20 min drive away. Have 12 boxes to move. Need you to drive a car,' wrote Mayer.

Officials recovered a purse and a backpack, believed to be Mayer's, from the bar, which calls itself 'New York's largest outdoor rooftop garden and fully enclosed penthouse lounge'.

It is unknown if Mayer was part of the corporate party.

After she leaped, some customers continued to drink at the swanky bar, where bottles can reach $300.

Police believe that Mayer jumped deliberately, but customers said that the 4ft-wide ledge around the roof should raise concern from any partygoer.

Carlos Rodriguez, 51, said 'they really need to be more careful up there', where inebriated people can stand so close to the high ledge. 'There's nothing to keep you from jumping,' he added.

'I sat at the ledge of the roof once and was drunk out of my mind,' Rodriguez told the Post. 'I was about to sit there and nobody gave a s***.'

For confidential support in the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Line on 1-800-273-8255.

For confidential support call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90, visit a local Samaritans branch or see www.samaritans.org.