Woman who was told by judge to 'forgive' husband who repeatedly drugged and raped on video speaks out about her ordeal

  • Mandy Boardman, 37, was repeatedly drugged by her husband of twelve years, who raped her while she was passed out
  • David Wise, 53, was convicted of six felony counts, but a judge only sentenced him to house arrest and advised Mandy to move on
  • The mother-of-two from Indiana is still struggling with her experience but hopes speaking out will help other women

A woman who was drugged and raped by her husband - and then told by a judge that she should forgive him - is opening up about her horrifying experiences in the hopes of helping women in similar situations find the strength to come forward.

Mother-of-two Mandy Boardman, 37, was married to David Wise, now 53, when he began slipping her drugs and forcing sex on her while she was passed out. Last year, a judge gave the convicted felon no jail time and advised Mandy to move on - enraging both her and thousands of people who read her story.

In a new essay for Time, the Indiana resident has now shared further details about the harrowing ordeal, which has left her still battling depression years later. She hopes that telling her tale will help other women, and even encourage lawmakers to change the sentencing laws which allowed her ex-husband to walk free. 

Unjust sentencing: Mandy Boardman (pictured) was drugged and raped by her husband, who was given no jail time by a judge

Unjust sentencing: Mandy Boardman (pictured) was drugged and raped by her husband, who was given no jail time by a judge

Mandy described the beginning of her relationship with David as a 'whirlwind romance' - and for the first few years that they were married, they were quite happy. As time went on however, they started to drift apart as their schedules became overrun with activities related to their children, but Mandy said their story was very 'typical' of couples who experience stress while raising kids.

As it turned out however, their story was anything but typical. Seven years into their marriage, Mandy said, she began having issues with her memory and often felt fatigued.

'Strange things would happen to me and I couldn’t remember how,' she wrote. 'One night, I woke up with a dissolving pill in my mouth. I had no recollection of taking a pill and was very confused. Another night I woke up with my clothes off. That was strange, since I wear clothes when I sleep and could not remember taking them off. I began to worry that I was sleepwalking.'

She was experiencing 'a weird taste' in her mouth, too - when she slept, and sometimes in her drinks. But far from guessing that her husband was slipping her pills, she suspected there was something wrong with her.

Criminal: David Wise (pictured) would slip Mandy drugs as she slept, then record himself forcing sex on her while she lay unconscious

Criminal: David Wise (pictured) would slip Mandy drugs as she slept, then record himself forcing sex on her while she lay unconscious

Then, she encountered the first red flag that something more suspicious was going on - though it still didn’t occur to her that her husband was acting quite so maliciously. 

Mandy woke up one night to find her husband leering above her with an unidentified object in one hand and a flashlight, aimed at her face, in the other.

This man raped me multiple times over many years. Rape doesn’t make him a cr**py husband - it makes him a criminal

When he noticed that she'd woken up, David tried to hide what was in his hand - but after a 'physical confrontation', Mandy found that he'd been holding a vial full of a 'cloudy liquid'. David then admitted that he'd been surreptitiously giving her Xanax and Ambien while she slept, claiming that he wanted her to get more sleep. 

She begged him to stop - and he said that he would - but he continued to give her the drug in the vial without her permission for some time. They would follow the same routine: She would ask him to stop, he would agree that it was the last time, and then he would inevitably do it again.

One day, after this had been going on for a few years, Mandy came across David's phone, which he'd left at home. Because she'd been growing suspicious about his behaviour, she snooped - and found something 'that would change my life forever'.

On his phone were three videos of David having sex with her while she was passed out.

Shocking discovery: Many had been growing suspicious, but only found out that she'd been raped after finding videos of it on David's phone

Shocking discovery: Many had been growing suspicious, but only found out that she'd been raped after finding videos of it on David's phone

Mandy felt a wave of panic wash over her and couldn't believe that she didn't know that these things had happened. She realized that David had always given her such a large dose of drugs that she was unable to wake up while he raped her.

'How many times had this happened?' she wondered. 'I had no idea. I was so disgusted, confused and afraid. I had always known that something wasn’t right, but I never had any proof until now.'

I am still trying to overcome the depression that comes with the shame and disgust that I feel when those videos pop into my head 

Mandy made a copy of the clips before confronting her husband, who dismissed her concerns and told her no one would believe her if she told her story.

They divorced soon after, in 2009, after 12 years of marriage. At first, Mandy just tried to put the relationship behind her. While she was never able to forget the 'extremely messed up thing' that happened, she still made an effort to move on.

It took a visit between her ex-husband and her daughter, during which time her son would be away, for Mandy to realize that she needed to tell the police. She feared for her daughter and didn't want her to be left alone with David.

So she finally went to the cops, bringing along the videos that she had saved from his phone. The exes then went to criminal court and civil court, while Mandy fought for David to be punished and her children to fall entirely under her custody. 

Fearing for her kids: Many decided to go to the police when she realized she was afraid of her daughter being left alone with her ex-husband

Fearing for her kids: Many decided to go to the police when she realized she was afraid of her daughter being left alone with her ex-husband

It took three years for her to see the end of the legal battle. Last spring, a jury convicted David of rape, as well as five counts of criminal deviant conduct. These are all felonies that can be punishable by six to 20 years in prison.

Mandy felt free and safe once again - until the sentencing, two weeks later. David received no jail time, and instead was put under house arrest. He would be allowed to leave home to go to work, and was not required to undergo therapy.

To add insult to injury, the Marion Superior Court Judge Kurt Eisgruber who sentenced him had a message for Mandy. He told her that though David may have been a 'cr**py' husband, he was a good father, and she should forgive him.

'Excuse me, sir,' she wrote, recalling her outraged reaction. 'This man raped me multiple times over many years. Rape doesn’t make him a cr**py husband - it makes him a criminal.

Devastated, Mandy fell into a deep depression, and continued to feel unsafe as David virtually walked free.

Prison punishment: David eventually went to jail - for less than a year - after violating his house arrest

Prison punishment: David eventually went to jail - for less than a year - after violating his house arrest

The public, upon hearing about the lax punishment, lashed out at the judge, calling him 'disgraceful' and criticizing him for shaming the victim.

'Forgiveness is one thing, [and] something for the victim to decide,' wrote one person. 'But justice [is] another matter, which this judge seems to have no regard for.'

Two months later, however, David violated his house arrest and was given a five-year prison sentence. That provided temporary relief - but as sentences aren't always served in full, David was released just a few months ago, having spent less than a year behind bars.

Mandy said that she is speaking out now because of the cloudiness surrounding marital rape. Some critics say a man can't rape his wife, though Mandy insists that her story makes it very clear that he can. She wants the sentencing laws for rapists to be updated.

'Today, I am still trying to overcome the depression that comes with the shame and disgust that I feel when those videos pop into my head,' she wrote, adding: 'I need to make sure that this story is heard by other women in similar situations. Maybe they will find the courage like I did to come forward, and to make sure their attacker is held accountable for their actions.'

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