'It was very raw... it took me back to that moment': Simon Cowell talks about breaking down during emotional X Factor audition days after mum's death

By Sophia Moir For Mailonline

Published: 03:30 EST, 5 September 2015 | Updated: 06:52 EST, 5 September 2015

He might be known as TV's Mr Nasty, but viewers witnessed a softer side to Simon Cowell on Sunday's X Factor after the talent show mogul broke down in tears during a contestant's audition.

And now the 55-year-old music manager has spoken about his on-screen breakdown, confirming the tears were shed for his beloved mother, Julie, who died aged 89 a few days before the audition.

While watching hopeful Josh Daniels' rendition of Labrinth's Jealous - which was dedicated to his best friend, who died in a car crash age 18 - Simon was seen wiping away tears, before walking backstage and swiftly giving his microphone back.

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 Heartfelt: X Factor boss Simon Cowell, 55, has spoken about his on-screen breakdown, confirming the tears were shed for his beloved mother, Julie, who died a few days before the audition

 Heartfelt: X Factor boss Simon Cowell, 55, has spoken about his on-screen breakdown, confirming the tears were shed for his beloved mother, Julie, who died a few days before the audition

Speaking to The Sun, the SyCo music manager admitted that producers were cautious about whether to even show him the footage, which he admitted was extremely difficult to watch back because it brought back all the memories of his mother's death.

He revealed: 'It was very raw and it did take me back to the moment, but I think in quite a healthy way. Being upset is a human thing.'

The father-of-one added that he took it upon the show's producers to decide whether to air the emotional moment or not, because it was too hard for him to make a decision.

Sad moment: While watching Josh Daniels' rendition of Labrinth's Jealous, Simon was seen wiping away tears, before walking backstage and swiftly giving his microphone back

Sad moment: While watching Josh Daniels' rendition of Labrinth's Jealous, Simon was seen wiping away tears, before walking backstage and swiftly giving his microphone back

He explained: 'You can't censor stuff like that. In the end I kind of just said to them, "I'm OK with it", but I don't want to approve anything, I'll let you make your decision as to what is acceptable and what isn't.'

The TV boss also defended the 21-year-old contestant and said that ultimately, he wanted to ensure that the singer had a successful audition.

Simon said: 'The contestant didn't know the situation. He wasn't doing it to make me upset. He sang the song for his own reasons. It was more important that he did a good audition.'

Emotional: The SyCo music manager admitted that producers were cautious about whether to even show him the footage, which he admitted was extremely difficult to watch back because it brought back all the memories 

Emotional: The SyCo music manager admitted that producers were cautious about whether to even show him the footage, which he admitted was extremely difficult to watch back because it brought back all the memories 

Bringing back the memories: Simon revealed: 'It was very raw and it did take me back to the moment, but I think in quite a healthy way. Being upset is a human thing'

Bringing back the memories: Simon revealed: 'It was very raw and it did take me back to the moment, but I think in quite a healthy way. Being upset is a human thing'

Simon's mother, Julie Brett died on July 5 this year aged 89, after being ill for a long time following a stroke she suffered in 2014.

The death is reported to have left the talent show boss 'devastated.' 

Simon's father, Eric - who his son with girlfriend Lauren Silverman is named after - died in 1999. 

Not his fault: The TV boss also defended the 21-year-old contestant and said that ultimately, he wanted to ensure that Josh had a successful audition

Not his fault: The TV boss also defended the 21-year-old contestant and said that ultimately, he wanted to ensure that Josh had a successful audition

Devastated: Simon's mother, Julie Brett died on July 5 this year aged 89, after being ill for a long time following a stroke she suffered in 2014

Devastated: Simon's mother, Julie Brett died on July 5 this year aged 89, after being ill for a long time following a stroke she suffered in 2014

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