BLACK DOG: Red Ed reveals he's Upper Class


Ed Miliband ditched his class war to fly Virgin Atlantic 'Upper Class' to the US for his recent meeting with Barack Obama.

Red Ed felt so guilty in his leather seat alongside the fat bankers he claims to despise that he made several trips  to economy class to chat with Labour underlings. His nerves showed through, though, as he stumbled on an object on the floor, and nearly fell headlong down the aisle.

Virgin 'Upper Class' offers chauffeur-driven limos, free champagne and queue-jumping. Nothing's too good for the workers.

Ed Miliband ditched his class war to fly Virgin Atlantic 'Upper Class' to the US

Ed Miliband ditched his class war to fly Virgin Atlantic 'Upper Class' to the US

Scottish Nationalist leader Alex Salmond's centre-stage role at the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow appears to have been to flatter his ego.

Out of view, when the Queen arrived at the Royal Box, there was no pandering to Scotland's First Minister.

As Her Majesty was greeted by David Cameron and Commonwealth Secretary-General Kamalesh Sharma. Salmond was left down the line, gnashing his teeth.

Esther's so coy over dumpy 'dad' Philip

Employment Minister Esther McVey has banned newshounds asking about her flatshare with Tory MP Philip Davies. They attend parties together, looking for all the world like an item. McVey is unmarried and Davies is divorced. Why so coy? Bizarrely, dumpy, grey-haired Davies has been mistaken for Esther's dad. He looks 15 years older than his 42 years, while she looks 15 years younger than her 46, making them the Commons' odd couple.

Esther McVey has banned newshounds asking about her flatshare with Tory MP Philip Davies

Esther McVey has banned newshounds asking about her flatshare with Tory MP Philip Davies

McVey's claim that she never married because she had 'never found anyone to wind her biological clock' made one of her fellow Conservative MPs raise an eyebrow. The MP told Dog that some time ago, a male Commons researcher who came into contact with McVey by chance subsequently received a number of charming messages from her. 'He had a girlfriend and didn't know what to do,' said the MP.

Floored by history

Westminster officials in Commons souvenir shops are doing a roaring trade flogging damaged floor tiles dug up during repairs to Parliament.

Tourists are paying  a staggering £150 for each one. 'We tell gullible Yanks that William the Conqueror and Winston Churchill walked on 'em and they can't get enough,' whispered one crafty salesman. 'Winston maybe, but as most of this place is barely 200 years old, we're stretching it with William.'

John Bercow is partly relying on Labour backers to fund his bid for  re-election as an MP next year.

The Speaker declares £2,500 towards his campaign from Lord Levy, the former fundraiser for Tony Blair, and £5,000 from Trust Reservations, the Labour-supporting company run by Farah Sassoon, a pal of Bercow's wife Sally. Small world.

 

Jeremy Hunt claims to have made a small piece of history by being the first Health Secretary to become a father while running the NHS. Wife Lucia gave birth last week to third child Eleanor at Chelsea and Westminster NHS Hospital. Only a foolish Tory Cabinet Minister, or one who did not want to be Prime Minister, would have gone private. And ultra-ambitious Hunt is neither.