LIZ JONES FASHION THERAPY

By Liz Jones for The Mail on Sunday
Updated: 03:20 EST, 17 August 2009

Thread veins, facial hair and grey roots - boy, is my body betraying me

The buzz phrase in the world of fashion at the moment is: 'I'm battling body betrayal.'

A whole feature was dedicated to this syndrome in the August issue of American Vogue, so it must be true.

In what is ostensibly the magazine's 'age' issue, it tackles the myriad ways your body can betray you as it gets older.

Eyebrows begin to go walkabout, for example, and thread veins start to appear in the most unexpected places.

I am intrigued by this buzz phrase, particularly because the way our bodies start to disintegrate is little logged in the world of fashion and beauty.

The hoary (hairy) business of ageing is always whispered about very discreetly.

The words 'fine lines and wrinkles' are bandied about in all those ads for anti-ageing cream; the effects demonstrated on women who have been artfully airbrushed.

And have you noticed that in those TV advertisements for hair dye that covers grey, you never actually get to see a single, stray white hair?

It is almost as though we would all be so disgusted we would instantly turn over to a different channel, quaking.

And so I thought I would compile my own list of body betrayals, ways they can be countered and whether or not there is any upside to growing older.

THINNING EYEBROWS

Unlike men, whose brows grow bushier, ours seem to become sparser with the passing years.

While I would quite like a pair of thick, dark, Brooke Shields-worthy brows, what I have instead look like something that belongs on the face of Bette Davis.

Don't be tempted to have them tattooed, as I did: for a while you will resemble Groucho Marx before the brows fade, and go all purple.

Instead, use a dark brown shadow from Chanel or Laura Mercier, feathered on with an oblique, fairly stiff eyebrow brush (Space NK has a good selection): far less obvious than using a pencil.

FACIAL HAIR

Our bodies are nothing if not contrary as they age. Eyebrows might give up the ghost, but facial hair seems to sprout alarmingly. The topic of facial hair among my peers and even younger women is all consuming, but how we get rid of it is rarely mentioned in the glossy beauty pages.

I have always suffered from facial hair, right from when I was a teenager.

What I wish I had known then was that it was a sign of an imbalance of hormones, and I should have gone to my GP rather than spending huge amounts of money on Jolene Creme Bleach (can anyone tell me whether it smells any better these days?) and weekly visits to a hair removal clinic where I had expensive and painful electrolysis.

I have tried laser therapy more recently, but the downside of this is that you must not pluck the hairs for a couple of weeks before a visit, which means you become quite witch-like, and it doesn't really work if you are pre-menopausal or even, dare I type this word, menopausal.

The upside of facial hair as you grow older is that it turns white, which is slightly less noticeable. Waxing facial hair is not advisable: it encourages growth, and you have to allow it to grow long enough for the wax to grasp it firmly. My advice is to buy a well-lit magnifying mirror and a pair of tweezers. 

THREAD VEINS

Thread veins start to appear on your legs, and the veins in your feet become all blue and prominent.

A predisposition to thread veins is largely genetic: if your mum has them or, worse, has varicose veins, the likelihood is you will get them, too.

Best avoid standing for too long, extreme temperatures (sunbathing, hot baths), and childbirth. If that is too much to ask, a treatment called sclerotherapy, where the vein is cauterised, can help, but I had this on my cheeks and it leaves tiny brown marks.

Far better than going to a beauty spa is to involve a high level consultant.

My man is Dr Andrew Markey, who does amazing things with lasers.

Visit listerhospitalconsultants. co.uk.

Otherwise, I love the thick, cream concealer from Chantecaille.

HAIR DYEING

I wish I could stop the compulsion to dye my hair, but I can't.

My advice is not to go too dark or the silver will show, and to use only (either at home or at the hairdresser) a semi-permanent colour; that is, one without ammonia.

The grey will show in two weeks anyway, so there's no point using a permanent.

Why not do as Sarah Jessica Parker and Madonna do, and have honeyed highlights with a chocolate brown stripe at the roots, which makes it look as though your regrowth is brown, not grey?

TEETH

I am always amazed at the number of women who bother to dye their hair and go to the gym, but allow their teeth to betray them, age-wise.

I have my teeth professionally cleaned once a month. I visit a hygienist at the surgery of Dr Carling at 72 Harley Street and I have never smoked a cigarette or drunk red wine, but receding gums are a problem as you age.

This isn't a problem if you never smile, and if you are over 50 you shouldn't be smiling anyway.

Never, ever, ever use a manual toothbrush, as out of date as VHS video: it will only exacerbate the problem. Philips Sonicare is the best electric toothbrush around.

TOENAILS

Your toenails become warped and discoloured. This is due to a lifetime of wearing nail polish, and could also be an early indicator you might be developing arthritis or brittle bone disease.

My advice for ageing toenails is not to have a professional pedicure (a salon treatment is liable to give you a fungal infection, while buffing will make them even more thin and fragile) but to cut the nail short and cover with Nailtiques pale pink camouflage polish.

www.nailtiques. com for stockist.

WRINKLED HANDS

Wrinkled hands with parchment skin and freckles. If you haven't been wearing white cotton gloves when out of doors, and rubber gloves when immersing your hands in detergent, then you deserve this final age ignominy.

I have, for about ten years, used my face products on my hands, particularly Chantecaille moisturing mask and Revive night and day cream.

Great, too, is Revive's whitening cream, which is meant for dark spots on the face but is as effective on backs of hands.

This range is hugely expensive (far cheaper to hire a cleaner for life) but also really good is a whitener from a range called Pevonia, from about £36.

A good tip, too, is to use your eye cream around your mouth, another body betrayer.