Safe sex and stereotypes! BBC's adaptation of Lady Chatterley’s Lover was unfaithful and impotent, says Jim Shelley 

By Jim Shelley for MailOnline

Published: 02:28 EST, 7 September 2015 | Updated: 03:35 EST, 7 September 2015

For 87 years since it was first published, Lady Chatterley’s Lover has been a by-word for illicit, explicit, sex and scandal.

But the only shocking thing about the BBC’s adaptation of D.H.Lawrence’s notorious novel was that it was so outrageously tame - as impotent as Connie’s husband.

Decades of changing social mores will have that effect - along with the way so many TV dramas have been ‘inspired by’ (or just copied) the theme of a female member of the aristocracy involved in a dangerous liaison with someone of a different class or creed. (Lady Mary, Lady Sybil, and Lady Rose from Downton Abbey, this means you.)

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Lacking passion? The only shocking thing about the BBC’s adaptation of D.H.Lawrence’s notorious novel was that it was so outrageously tame - as impotent as Connie’s husband, says Jim Shelley

Lacking passion? The only shocking thing about the BBC’s adaptation of D.H.Lawrence’s notorious novel was that it was so outrageously tame - as impotent as Connie’s husband, says Jim Shelley

Lawrence’s book has become so synonymous with torrid, florid, passions that its once revolutionary frisson has become a cliché.

Lady Constance Chatterley’s affair with her gamekeeper Oliver Mellors looked particularly conventional compared to Ken Russell’s series with Sean Bean and Joely Richardson in 1993 or coming just weeks after the perverse excesses of The Scandalous Lady W.

So it was easy to understand why writer/director Jed Mercurio decided to make a different version – brazenly unfaithful to Lawrence’s text/story and toning his 90-minute production down.

Only Mellors was seen topless and Connie’s bodices were carefully untied rather than ripped.

All very commendable and original...

Feminist-friendly: Only Mellors was seen topless and Connie’s bodices were carefully untied rather than ripped

Feminist-friendly: Only Mellors was seen topless and Connie’s bodices were carefully untied rather than ripped

Co-stars: Character Oliver Mellors (Richard Madden) and Constance Chatterley (Holliday Grainger)

Co-stars: Character Oliver Mellors (Richard Madden) and Constance Chatterley (Holliday Grainger)

Except Lady Chatterley’s Lover without endless interludes of over-wrought, over-written, hanky-panky was a bit like Oliver Twist without gruel or The Importance of Being Earnest without ‘the handbag.’

Their first, um, coming together – on the floor of Mellors’ cottage in front of a roaring fire to the sound of soaring violins – was like a tele-soap from the 80s.

It was so flaccid and vacuous D.H.Lawrence would be turning in his grave.

Here are 6 more reasons why Lady Chatterley’s Lover was a damp squib.

1. Lady Chatterley

Holliday Grainger has an impeccable pedigree for costume dramas, having appeared in everything from Jane Eyre, Great Expectations, and Anna Karenina to The Borgias. Maybe that was the trouble. She gave a wholly generic portrayal – neither beautiful or charming enough for Mellors to risk everything over, nor idealistic or driven enough to break free of the conventions trapping her, overall actually insipid.

Insipid: Holliday gave a wholly generic portrayal – neither beautiful or charming enough for Mellors to risk everything over, nor idealistic or driven enough to break free of the conventions trapping her

Insipid: Holliday gave a wholly generic portrayal – neither beautiful or charming enough for Mellors to risk everything over, nor idealistic or driven enough to break free of the conventions trapping her

Where's the chemistry? The pair delivered very safe versions of the famed literary characters 

Where's the chemistry? The pair delivered very safe versions of the famed literary characters 

2. Oliver Mellors

Richard Madden on the other hand was perfectly cast as the brooding, bitter, working class hero who had spent his life working at t’pit or in the army before becoming the Chatterleys’ gamekeeper. What Madden failed to convey was any sense of conflict about betraying his roots or being corrupted by Connie’s affluence. ‘I went down pit at 12, that’s what your kind do to do children - pack ‘em off under ground away from light, and nature, and good things !’ he lambasted her near the end – a minor blip we were lead to believe in their prospects of happiness.

3. John Thomas

Mellors’ propensity for talking about his appendage hasn’t become any less embarrassing with time.

‘Speak up lad, her Ladyship can’t hear thee,’ he said towards his groin. As for the sweet nothings he whispered to seduce Connie, ‘open up the gates m’Lady so John Thomas may come in’ isn’t a chat-up line you’d recommend.

There wasn’t much evidence of the reading Mellors has done in the book. 

Lead star: 'Richard Madden was perfectly cast as the brooding, bitter, working class hero. What he failed to convey was any sense of conflict about betraying his roots or being corrupted by Connie’s affluence'

Lead star: 'Richard Madden was perfectly cast as the brooding, bitter, working class hero. What he failed to convey was any sense of conflict about betraying his roots or being corrupted by Connie’s affluence'

Shirtless: Richard delighted desperate housewives everywhere when he appeared shirtless - but their husbands weren't allowed to see any flesh from co-star Holliday  

Shirtless: Richard delighted desperate housewives everywhere when he appeared shirtless - but their husbands weren't allowed to see any flesh from co-star Holliday  

4. Sir Clifford Chatterley

At first, Connie’s husband was depicted as yet another snobbish aristocratic swine familiar from period dramas such as Poldark, Downton, and The Scandalous Lady W, more interested in the profits of his mine than his wife or their staff.

‘She’s a servant ! It’s not as if she’s a person !’ he blustered to Constance about the maid who bathed him after he returned from the war paralysed.

In Mercurio’s hands, it was impossible not to feel a certain pathos for him too for the devastating effect on his (sex) life. 

Troubled: Connie’s husband was depicted as yet another snobbish aristocratic swine familiar from period dramas such as Poldark, Downton, and The Scandalous Lady W

Troubled: Connie’s husband was depicted as yet another snobbish aristocratic swine familiar from period dramas such as Poldark, Downton, and The Scandalous Lady W

‘I feel ashamed,’ he explained. ‘I ought to be a figure of potency.’

Mercurio’s script made Sir Clifford more human but the way he fought against his handicap (having ECT, whizzing around the estate in a tin car) only detracted from the valour of the two lovers.

Mellors tried to claim the moral high ground, complaining about the officer of his regiment ‘not even having the guts to remember me’ when it was Sir Clifford who had been shot.

‘I stood over you and the look I saw in your eyes is like the one I see now,’ Mellors told him heartlessly. ‘You long for some mortal wound, for someone to put you out of your misery.’

Drab: Connie and Mellors’ passion for each other, let alone their ‘love’ was never convincing – a pretty fundamental flaw in any adaptation of Lady Chatterley’s Lover

Drab: Connie and Mellors’ passion for each other, let alone their ‘love’ was never convincing – a pretty fundamental flaw in any adaptation of Lady Chatterley’s Lover

5. Lady Chatterley and her lover’s ‘romance’

Connie and Mellors’ passion for each other, let alone their ‘love’ was never convincing – a pretty fundamental flaw in any adaptation of Lady Chatterley’s Lover.

Concentrating on the three protagonists meant Mellors’ wife Bertha, the other servants at Wragby, or Connie’s suitor Duncan barely featured as detailed characters. 

This gave the impression that, ultimately, Connie and Mellors’ affair arose out of geographical convenience or necessity rather than sheer lust or love.

Sexually frustrated because of her husband’s injury, Mellors was just the nearest man available – living in the woods. ‘I’m not sorry. I thought I’d done with it all – life,’ Mellors told Connie at one point, suggesting their relationship was not about sex or love, but just escape – wanting a new life.

Marriage made in heaven? Lady Chatterley and Clifford tie the knot - before she cheats with her 'bit of rough'

Marriage made in heaven? Lady Chatterley and Clifford tie the knot - before she cheats with her 'bit of rough'

6. The ending

The details of D.H.Lawrence’s ending to Lady Chatterley’s Lover were not only dispensed with but changed. Here, Connie did not leave to live with her sister and Mellors’ estranged wife did not appear and force Mellors to lose his job by spreading rumours of his affair. 

This time, Sir Clifford did begrudgingly promise Connie a divorce. In the book, the two lovers are hopeful but miles apart and waiting. 

Mercurio showed them driving off in to the sunset to another torrent of violins, with Mellors seemingly comfortable about being in her shiny, swanky, car - despite his avowed ‘fear of putting children into this machine world and its machine men’: surely the biggest betrayal of all. 

Eh? The details of D.H.Lawrence’s ending to Lady Chatterley’s Lover weren't only dispensed with but changed

Eh? The details of D.H.Lawrence’s ending to Lady Chatterley’s Lover weren't only dispensed with but changed

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