For AAR Managing Editor Blythe Barnhill, Mary Balogh is not only a favorite author, she's a big offender. She points to Secrets of the Heart as belonging in the Stupid Misunderstanding Hall of Fame. The worst Big Mis book Blythe's ever read? Cyber Bride by Annette Couch-Jareb. What's so bad about it? The hero is told that the heroine is married to a man named Harry, when Harry is actually her grandfather and spends the entire book believing it - every time she tells someone that Harry is her grandfather, the hero has conveniently stepped out of the room. For Blythe, "it was so entirely stupid that it completely boggled my mind.".

Blythe has more issues with Secrets of the Heart than colleague Anne Marble does. She argued, "It's quite logical that a man from the Regency era would react that way if his wife weren't a virgin. Logical, yes - pleasant, no (okay, he was a jerk). What made the book most believable to me was the fact that the heroine was afraid to tell him who had raped her because she didn't realize she was a victim. That made much more sense than the hero's behavior - divorcing and shaming her."

When Does it Work? When Does it Not?
Reader Robin finds that some big misunderstandings can be handled well. She points to Princess Charming by Jane Heller, in which the divorced heroine accidently discovers that a hit man on her cruise ship is planning to kill someone's ex-wife. While snooping into the hero's wallet, she finds evidence that contradicts what he's told her about himself. For Robin, the heroine's reaction seemed justfied, particularly since it was played for laughs and it was in the heroine's character to be somewhat paranoid.

On the other hand, the Big Mis can fail, as it did in Diana Palmer's Heart of Ice, according to Anne. The hero definitely made an ass-of-you-and-me by ass/u/me-ing that the heroine is a slut because she writes romance novels. Anne went on to speculate what a different author could do with a Big Mis by comparing and contrasting what Diana Palmer would have done with the storyline Adele Ashworth presented in My Darling Caroline: "You want to study botany?! Then you must be a slut!"

Big-name authors such as Palmer seem to be known for their Big Mis plots, but Judith McNaught and Linda Howard are known for this as well. Many readers seem able to "forgive" both McNaught and Howard these excesses, but not always, and not everyone.

My Conclusions:
Big Misunderstandings certainly undermine trust, but they can sometimes work as a necessary turning point in a relationship. The last huge misunderstanding in Whitney, My Love finally illustrates to Clayton that he has been a complete ass. After reading (and re-reading) it, I was hopeful that both Whitney and Clayton learned to talk to each other about things.

Misunderstandings can work as a small part of a bigger problem (but they can still be irritating). If the reasons are good enough, they can be understood. I’d still prefer not to see them in the plot, but in the hands of the right author, they’re okay. Let’s hear from the rest of you readers now!

On What She Said (by Robin Nixon Uncapher):
I was delighted by Gina Wilkens' comment that The Big Misunderstanding may be most successful in comedic plots. I think she is absolutely right, though I don't think I would have noticed it without her help.

Barbara Metzger's Snowdrops and Scandalbroth has an absolutely delicious one. The hero, Courtney Choate, Viscount Chase, is a virgin and is determined to remain one until marriage. As a result he refrains from all those rakey habits that Regency Romance writers hold near and dear. He doesn't have a mistress, go to brothels, or have affairs with married women. Unfortunately, his virtuous behavior has been interpreted by the ton as meaning that he isn't interested in women. A rumor circulates that Courtney was um... "wounded in the war," and as a result, nobody wants him for a husband. What makes this hilarious is that this man is dying of sexual frustration. He finally hires the heroine, Kathlyn, to pose as his mistress so that he can seem more sinful than he is. Kathlyn has heard the rumors too and they have made her concerned for him. She's worried that he may be overconfident about his ability to perform in bed and she tries to discuss it with him, suggesting that he may be overconfident! I loved it when he tells her that he does know what to do and that every boy who has reached puberty knows what to do!

What I really have a tough time with is when the Big Mis is based on a series of coincidences. To me the granddaddy of all Big Misunderstandings is in Romeo and Juliet. (Listen to me give advice to Shakespeare. Lightning should be striking me any second now.) Nevertheless, the ending of Romeo and Juliet never fails to drive me crazy. It's not that they die. Dying is necessary for the point to be made. It's that they die because they misunderstand the situation. Every time I see the play I hope that Juliet will wake up!

But I don't mind the Big Misunderstanding when its clear why the hero and heroine don't talk about the situation. In Mary Balogh's The Plumed Bonnet, the hero initially believes that the heroine is a lightskirt because of the gaudy hat and cloak she wears. When he discovers his mistake, he has compromised her and offers for her. The heroine is unaware, throughout most of the book, of the misunderstanding. All this made sense to me, for even in today's world a man would have a hard time telling a woman that he had mistaken her for a prostitute.

For whatever reason, I haven't read too many Big Misunderstandings lately. Perhaps they are on the wane? Now the Big Secret is another story. Don't get me started. . . .

On What She Said (by Laurie Likes Books):
I have plenty of comments on the Big Misunderstanding, but Andrea (and Robin too) have made most of them for me, and made them better, I might add. I would like to touch on some aspects you may not have considered. When I think of the Big Mis, my mind automatically jumps to the Big Secret, as these two plot devices often go hand in hand. Immediately, then, my thoughts turn to terms such as "betrayal, escape, virginity, and fidelity" because these are the themes I see occurring most often with the Big Mis.

When my colleagues and I were talking about this topic, Anne Marble mentioned that she is more likely to accept the Big Mis if she can believe the characters have a reason for not sharing secrets. She said, "These stories can be good because you watch the character get caught up in the secrets. They come to a point where they realize they can't tell the truth without destroying the relationship, and in the right hands, this is powerful." What about Mary Jo Putney's Dearly Beloved, Anne wanted to know, and the moment the hero tells the heroine about what happened to him with his mother and you realize it's too late for her to reveal her big secret?

While The Big Secret often goes hand in hand with the Big Misunderstanding, they are not the same, often because the Big Mis isn't even real. Two excellent medievals are Elizabeth Elliott's The Warlord and Catherine Archer's Velvet Bond. Both feature issues of betrayal and trust, but there's a difference between the heroes, who each feel betrayed and lack trust in their heroines, and that difference is that Elliott's heroine is hiding a big secret and Archer's. Where these two particular books are concerned, it makes perhaps a more satisfying moment when Raynor realizes he's been wrong in Velvet Bond than when Kenric learns why Tess is seemingly betraying him in The Warlord, but that's not the point. The point for me is that the Big Secret is not the same as the Big Misunderstanding. Each has worked for me at times, but under different circumstances.

Andrea mentioned that Judith McNaught, Linda Howard, and Diana Palmer often use the Big Mis in their books. Another lead author who relies on this premise is Johanna Lindsey. Lindsey also relies on the Big Secret. In Prisoner of My Desire, there are both premises at work, but the basis of the conflict is a Big Secret - the heroine hasn't told the hero that she's been forced to act as she has in order to protect the life of her mother. In Once a Princess, one of the largest conflicts revolves around the virginity Big Misunderstanding. She is one but he doesn't believe her, and when he discovers the truth (it's not when you think he would either), it's a great moment, as is the "ah-ha" moment in Moonspun Magic by Catherine Coulter. While I can sometimes handle Lindsey's use of the Big Mis, the main reason I don't read Jude Deveraux is because of it - I've tried three times and failed three times out.

For the most part, however, the Big Mis joins purple prose at the top of my list of pet peeves. It often seems an excuse for poor plotting. Can't figure out how to stretch the length of a book or get from point A to point C? Stick in a Big Misunderstanding that would have taken five minutes to resolve if the characters had had an actual conversation.

Another problem with the Big Mis is that it often shows up in romances featuring the "I hate you, let's jump in the sack" style of writing. Some of the best writers don't use much internal conflict between the hero and the heroine because they can show tension and develop an exciting relationship without it. I think it's easier to write a romance based on internal conflict, but it's not always better. And, what better way to create internal conflict than through the Big Mis?

On the other hand, have you ever noticed that some of the most boring books are those without internal conflict between the hero and heroine? Those writers aren't skilled enough to pull it off, and I think most writers know this, and so they end up writing lots of conflict to cover for their lack of skill. Some are brave enough to try it without the internal conflict, but most fail. Many who succeed, not surprisingly, are those who write humorous romances.

The longer I read romance, it seems, the less willing I am to entertain what I used to find entertaining. Many of the misunderstandings that filled the pages of the romances I read and admired years ago would likely seem melodramatic to me now. I agree with those readers/reviewers Andrea spoke with who found the characters involved in these misunderstandings to seem unreal, or, at the very least, immature. I have to disagree with Gina Wilkins on at least one point - it does not happen in real life as it does in many Big Mis romances!

Time to Post to the Message Board:
Here are some specific questions to think and post about:

	In tabulating the votes for the Y2K Purple Prose Parody Contest, we heard from many of you, but by not means in the numbers who actually read some or all of the submissions. What can we do next year to make the contest better? Limit the length? Suggest a different sort of content? All ideas are welcome!
	Does it bother any of you that we allow our reviewers to participate in these parody contests? We already had a contingency plan of what to do if one had actually won the contest, but since we do two parody contests a year, and the next one will begin soon, we thought we'd ask!
	We are very interested in creating a companion dictionary of Silly Sex to go along with our The Purple Dictionary of Historical Romance. We envision a page that lists that most frequent and/or most annoying phrases of purple prose used in romance novels. Please share those that would be at the top of your own list.
	Does the Big Mis drive you nuts? Regardless of whether your answer is yes or no, please share why. Is it because a short conversation would have nipped it in the bud? Maybe, like some of our readers/reviewers, the characters come off looking stubborn, silly, or at worst, stupid? Or perhaps the Big Mis looks plot-driven as opposed to character-driven?
	What are the most frequent uses of the Big Mis in your mind? Or, put another way, what issues surround it in the books you've read? Plans of escape? Virginity? Fidelity?
	Which books featuring the Big Mis either didn't work at all for you or worked wonderfully, perhaps in spite of or because they contained the Big Mis? Are there authors who tend to rely on the Big Mis? Is this a good or a bad thing, or something which can be both good and bad, depending on the book (or author)? What role does humor play in the Big Mis?
	Does the Big Mis seem to be on the wane? If it seems that way to you, could it be because you are consciously choosing books that don't feature it or do you think many authors are writing differently?
	Let's compare and contrast the Big Mis and the Big Secret now. Do you like one and not the other? Are both pet peeves? Do you enjoy both? What about when they are combined?

In conjunction with Andrea Pool

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