If you want to think Big, I'm all ears

Big Ears, Big Society: David Cameron has relaunched his controversial idea

Big Ears, Big Society: David Cameron has relaunched his controversial idea

Here's your handy guide to all those big societies...

BIG BOPPER SOCIETY: What exactly do we mean when we talk about the ‘Big Bopper’? For too long, our country has failed to have a proper debate about it.

For me, and for the vast majority of ordinary, decent people, Britain is literally crying out for the Big Bopper and everything he espoused, by which I mean not only Chantilly lace and a pretty face and a pony tail hangin’ down, but also a wiggle in the walk and a giggle in the talk.

Yes, I truly believe that it’s these that make the world go round, and we, as a society, must work our way towards these great ideals.

BIG CHEESE SOCIETY: The Big Cheese doesn’t apply to one area of the cheese counter, but to many. For example, if you want a bit of gorgonzola, but also quite fancy a nice piece of camembert, then there is no reason whatsoever why you shouldn’t have both.

If someone wants a reasonable selection of cheese, we should be prepared to give it to them. Building a stronger, better cheeseboard is something we should all try to do. 

BIG EARS SOCIETY: In the past, there has been far too much emphasis on Noddy, and not enough on Big Ears.

Yes, there must always be a place for Noddy, with his red hat and its cheery little bell.
But Noddy would be nothing without Big Ears. And that is why Big Ears is my absolute passion. With his snowy white beard, he is every bit an adult. And he deserves to be treated as an adult.

That is why my Big Ears Society is all about changing the way our country looks at itself.

What exactly is it all about? I’ll tell you what it’s all about. It’s about something quite different from what it’s been about in the past. Letting you know what it’s all about — yes, that’s what it’s all about. 

BIG GIRL’S BLOUSE SOCIETY: What exactly do we mean when we talk of the ‘Big Girl’s Blouse’? Do we mean that the blouse is big, or that the girl herself is big? Or do we mean that both of them are big?

Could the blouse, big though it undoubtedly is, still be said to fit a small girl, who may find it more suitable — though just as useful — to wear as a dress?

These are all subjects up for discussion and I am delighted to hear that the whole Big Girl’s Blouse issue is already being tackled by the CBI and the General Synod.
By focusing on the Big Girl’s Blouse, I am calling for a top-down approach. By this I mean that once we have got her blouse sorted out, then we can move on to other areas.

BIG HAIR SOCIETY: A lot of people have asked what exactly I mean when I talk about the ‘Big Hair’.

Unsurprisingly, some of our political opponents prefer to attack the Big Hair rather than understand it. But I want to draw as many people as possible into the whole Big Hair debate: who has it, what it is and how it can benefit us all.

But first, let me make one thing clear. I am not criticising the Small Hair, let alone the Medium Hair or even the No Hair Whatsoever.

Far from it.

In espousing the cause of the Big Hair, I am seeking to open it up to everyone in Britain. Once again, I want this to be a top-down debate, a return to Major’s Years: the Farrah Fawcett-Majors’ Years.

BIG TOE SOCIETY: It’s all too easy to forget that, on each of our feet, most of us don’t just have a little toe, and a satisfactory range of middling-sized toes. We also have a Big Toe. And it is this whole vexed issue of the Big Toe that I want to address today.

So what do we mean when we talk about the ‘Big Toe’? Put simply,  the Big Toe is the toe that makes a broader, more powerful point. I believe that people have the flexibility and local knowledge to have a pretty good idea as to where their Big Toe is.

They say that it is the one that sticks out through the hole in their sock, or the one on the inside of their foot. Our approach will not merely enable them locate their big toe, it will actively help them to do so.

And once they have located their Big Toe, then all the experts agree that they will be much better equipped to help others, perhaps less fortunate than them, to seek out their own Big Toes too.

This is what I mean by the Big Toe Society: a society comfortable not only with its Big Toes, but also with its Little Toes. Yes, we must begin to treat toes as toes, and not just as adjuncts of the larger foot.

We have the power to transform our whole view of toes, Big and Little. And that’s why the Big Toe is here to stay.