Ballerina Elice McKinley reveals how most dancers have body image issues

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Elice McKinley is a ballet dancer at the Carolina Ballet in Raleigh, North Carolina
She started at the age of nine, and now dances six days a week - which contributed to a major ankle injury at the age of 25
Besides the incredible physical strain, Elice also doesn't make much money, and was once paid so little that she was on food stamps
Still, she told Daily Mail Online, she feels 'like one of the lucky ones' and isn't happy when she's not dancing

Published: 16:49 EST, 22 September 2015 | Updated: 20:05 EST, 22 September 2015

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One professional ballerina revealed that as much as she loves what she does, there is a dark side to ballet that you don't see when you watch Swan Lake or The Nutcracker.

Elice McKinley, 28, is a dancer at the Carolina Ballet in Raleigh, North Carolina, and has been doing ballet since she was nine years old. But while she hopes her career lasts a few more years, the young woman admitted that her job is so physically strenuous that she doesn't really know when her body will force her to give up the very thing she has dedicated three quarters of her life to.

'I'm [29], but I feel old. My body feels 90.' she said in an interview with Cosmopolitan.com. 'I know ballet can't be my life forever.'

Lifelong passion: Elice McKinley (front), 29, has been dancing ballet since she was nine years old

Blood, sweat, and tears: The Carolina Ballet performer told Daily Mail Online that it's hard work, but 'all the grueling days are well worth the reward of dancing and expressing ourselves through movement'

Elice started taking ballet classes at age nine, moving to a full-time ballet school four hours away from home when she was just 14. She worked through her late teens into her twenties.

Then, in 2009, she was 'ecstatic' to land her current job at the Carolina Ballet in Raleigh. Though she told Daily Mail Online that she is 'forever grateful for all the opportunities' she's found there and would never give up the position she's worked so hard for, she admits that it has come with some major sacrifices.

We are told to dance all day, every day, and get by on very little sustenance

Elice's ballet season is from September to May, during which time she does 80 performances and works a 'grueling' schedule of six days a week.

Her only day off is Monday, and even then she might do some exercise - meaning there's a lot less time for other things she likes to do, like going out for dinner and drinks and seeing concerts. Just sitting around and relaxing is hardly even an option, as she explained: 'I don't really know how to just sit on the couch.'

Because she doesn't 'get out much when the regular population goes out', she doesn't socialize often with people outside the ballet world. Dating, too, is difficult.

'I've had a few boyfriends, and I have to say that the ballet and the way I handle my lifestyle and career has become a dealbreaker, she said. 'They love what I do at first. But then reality of what it entails sets in and it's tough.'

She's currently dating someone she met on Match.com, but she explained that some dancers find it easier to date other dancers who understand the commitment.

Hours and hours: She doesn't have a lot of free time with while dancing six days a week during the season, and it can be hard to date someone who doesn't understand the commitment

During the season, she gets up every day at 7:30am and works out for a half hour, focusing on her core muscles with Pilates or yoga. She also does physical therapy for her ankle, which she injured when she was 25.

She then takes a shower, eats breakfast, and brings lunch and snacks to the studio - where she immediately starts doing more exercise.

During times when she is preparing for a show, she has class in the morning followed by rehearsal, which can last until 6:30. Elice revealed that sometimes, she rehearses for six hours in a single day.

Pushing oneself physically at that rate can take its toll - and for Elice, it did in a big way. In 2012, after enduring terrible ankle pain, she got an MRI which revealed that her posterior tibial tendon was in terrible shape.

'I tend to have mostly foot and ankle problems,' she said. 'Which makes sense when you think about the fact that we are holding our entire body weight on a tiny one- or two-inch box. We have to have incredible strength and stability in our ankles.'

Staying in shape: She also said that a lot of dancers have eating and body image issues because they have to maintain such a thin, toned figure

Lots of pressure: On days off when Elice steps outside a strict diet, she says: 'I feel guilty and "fat"

But it wasn't just the psychical strain that led to her injury. Elice admitted that it was also the way she was eating in a bid to stay skinny.

'I wasn't anorexic, but I think I have the mentality of one,' she told Cosmo, adding that for over a decade, she only ate boiled chicken, non-fat yogurt, fruit, and veggies. 'I [once thought] that if I were skinny, I'd be a better dancer.'

I wasn't anorexic, but I think I have the mentality of one

And she's not alone. Elice said that weight is constantly discussed in the ballet world, and she thinks most dancers have body image issues to some degree.

'We are not taught how to eat for longevity,' she revealed to Daily Mail Online. 'We are told to dance all day, every day, and get by on very little sustenance.'

With all that pressure, body changes in the off-season - when dancers often gain a few pounds - can be majorly upsetting.

'All of us feel "gross and fat" during [the off-season], and we naturally get "skinny" when we dance during the season for several hours a day,' she told Cosmo.

But while even Elice falls victim to that guilt about consuming fattier foods, she knows she can count on friends for a reality check.

'My friends outside ballet think I'm nuts,' she told Daily Mail Online. 'I'm pretty tiny and nobody believes I'm 29. Mostly ballet keeps us looking young and our bodies looking young.'

Lots of snacks: However, she does say that ballerinas eat more than people think, because they have to sustain themselves throughout a lot of physical activity

Pushing herself: Elice suffered a devastating ankle injury in 2011 and still does daily physical therapy

After her MRI in 2011, she fixed her diet with the help of a nutritionist. She still struggles to maintain healthy habits, but she now allows herself 150 splurge calories on dancing days, and will eat 'whatever she wants' on days off - which for her means pizza, a 'legit sandwich with all the fixings', Swedish Fish, and anything covered in chocolate.

A lot of people see the glamour of ballet and don't know how bad the money is

Her diet wasn't the only thing that had to change in order to fix he ankle, though. She spent six months on crutches and needed plenty of rehab, which was so hard that she considered quitting the business altogether. Elice need to rebuild strength and learn how to walk again, and it took a year before she was back on stage.

But Elice loves ballet, so she worked hard and got back on her A-game - and now she hopes to continue dancing until she is 35 or 36.

And clearly, she is willing to make the sacrifices to do so - not just physically and socially, but financially. Ballerinas don't get paid much, and they don't get paid at all during the off-season from June through August.

'We don't dance for money. We dance because it's our passion,' she told Cosmo. 'A lot of people see the glamour of ballet and don't know how bad the money usually is.'

Healthy habits: She hopes to keep dancing until she is 35 or 36, after which she plans to become a nutritionist for dancers and athletes

During the summer, she teaches ballet classes, but has spent past off-seasons working in restaurants. When she first came to Raleigh, she was on food stands for several years.

For Elice, though, those hardships are manageable. As she sees it, she has her whole life to make money - but her body will only be in top ballet shape for so long.

'After all, how many people can say that they get to wake up and go to a job they actually love? There's definitely a crazy roller-coaster of emotions that tag along with it, but that's part of what drives us,' she told Daily Mail Online. 'When I'm not dancing, I'm not happy.'

And when she retires, she wants to hold onto that happiness by staying in the ballet world. She plans to become a one-on-one nutritional counselor for dancers and athletes to help them make healthy decisions about what they put in their bodies.

'There's always a psychological fight with food,' she explained, 'and I want to help others [like] myself. Finding a nutritionist you can trust in a profession that is so much about the aesthetic, but requires the treatment of being an elite athlete, is really hard. I want to be there for these people.'