Newcastle can't defend and they can't attack... Why the Magpies are in absolute free fall

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Newcastle are on the brink of another crisis after their Capital One Cup exit
Magpies were booed by fans after losing at home to Sheffield Wednesday
Steve McClaren is yet to record a Premier League win since his arrival
No team in England has scored fewer goals than Newcastle in the league
Mental scars and a lack of British core among reasons for latest demise

By Craig Hope for MailOnline

Published: 07:41 EST, 24 September 2015 | Updated: 14:50 EST, 24 September 2015

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Newcastle United’s season is hurtling towards crisis and we’re not even out of September.

Winless and second bottom in the Premier League and dumped out of the Capital One Cup by Sheffield Wednesday’s reserves, Steve McClaren is under mounting pressure.

Here, we look at 10 things going wrong - on and off the pitch - at St James' Park...

Steve McClaren can't believe a missed the opportunity as Newcastle crashed out of the Capital One Cup

Lewis McGugan celebrates after scoring for Sheffield Wednesday at St James' Park

Newcastle players trudge off the pitch after losing to Wednesday - there's been a fair bit of trudging this term

For starters, they can’t defend…

Their worst piece of summer business was extending the contract of captain Fabricio Coloccini. Not only was the team desperate for a new skipper, but it also needed a new centre-back. In keeping the Argentine – who would have happily quit the club given the right offer elsewhere – they left themselves with an unsettled and rapidly declining player at the heart of their defence.

They have kept just four clean sheets since last November and opponents are fast learning that to attack Newcastle is undoubtedly the best tactic, for they’ll gift you chances and goals if you show willing.

They can’t attack, either…

Now here is a damning stat - no team in the country has scored fewer than the three league goals Newcastle have managed this season.

They have drawn five blanks in eight matches and recently went more than four hours without a shot on target.

Against Sheffield Wednesday they did not trouble Joe Wildsmith – a 19-year-old making only his fifth appearance – until the 85th minute. Bafflingly, McClaren named a team without a recognised striker.

They have no creation, no penetration and, frankly, no idea in the final third. McClaren talks about possession – but when was the last time a team was awarded a goal for five passes on halfway? McClaren, though, has been left without a goalscorer having failed to convince his paymasters to part with £15million for Charlie Austin. As Alan Shearer said, that price looks cheap now.

Newcastle midfielder Moussa Sissoko reacts after hitting the post in the 1-0 defeat by Sheffield Wednesday

Jack Colback is the only Englishman who starts regularly for the Magpies

No British core…

Jack Colback is their sole English starter. The club’s transfer model, of course, is to buy young Europeans with sell-on value. That policy was lauded when Yohan Cabaye and Mathieu Debuchy returned a combined profit of nearly £30m, but it has left Newcastle with a team full of foreigners with one eye on their next move.

Only one academy graduate - Paul Dummett - is an established member of the senior side and there is little else coming through.

The Toon Army let rip at McClaren and his men during the weekend defeat by Watford

Mental scars…

A run of eight straight defeats towards the end of last season – their worst stretch of results in 38 years – shattered confidence. On the evidence of this calamitous campaign it has yet to be restored. As McClaren said, there is a foreboding feel of ‘here we go again’ every time Newcastle go behind.

Indeed, in games where they have conceded first in 2015 they have taken just two points. To trail, invariably means to lose. There is no character in the side and what little resolve they did have has been lost amid a disastrous run of results.

When they concede there is no inquest, just bowed heads and blank expressions.

Does this lot ever get angry? There are no dressing-room dust-ups at Newcastle. Instead, an acceptance of defeat has been allowed to permeate the squad.

In short, not enough of them seem to care.

Captain Fabricio Coloccini has admitted that United's start to the new season has not been good enough

No leaders…

Where is Kevin Nolan? Joey Barton? Steve Harper? Nicky Butt? Where are the standard-bearers? Answer: there are none. This is a team of individuals. When they trailed 4-0 at half-time to Arsenal in 2011, the likes of Nolan and Barton hauled their side back into the game, physically pulling team-mates by the shirt in some cases. They drew 4-4.

The club’s hierarchy, however, do not like players of such influence off the pitch and duly disbanded the players’ committee which had formed under Chris Hughton.

Former England manager holds his hand in his heads after another early cup exit for Newcastle

The head coach…

Before the 1-0 defeat to Wednesday, McClaren had escaped real criticism. But then he made the bold move of attempting to applaud the home crowd after full-time and was met with a deafening chorus of boos. It was venomous stuff and left no doubt as to the feeling towards him in light of their sorry start.

The former Derby boss has won just three of his last 21 matches in the dugout and has stamped no identity on his new team – he even admits as much himself.

Worryingly, McClaren does not seem to have any definite answers when it comes to reversing their fortunes.

Owner Mike Ashley (left) invested £52million into the club's playing staff in the summer transfer window

The hierarchy…

Managing director Lee Charnley and chief scout Graham Carr are the men Mike Ashley entrusted with £52million during the summer.

Between them they have left the side woefully short of quality and quantity in both defence and attack.

Carr has long since been hailed as a super scout. But the 70-year-old - the dad of comedian Alan Carr – has got so many wrong of late that no-one is laughing.

Florian Thauvin arrived last month for £13m but was so bad against Wednesday that he was hauled off at half-time. Meanwhile, £12m striker Aleksandar Mitrovic has spent more time suspended in the stands then he has on the pitch.

Both Charnley and Carr, however, act on the say-so of Ashley and are simply carrying out his orders.

Newcastle United are unrecognisable from the family football club of Kevin Keegan and Sir Bobby Robson. Rather, they are a shop window which exists to make profit for its owner, an extension of Sports Direct in many respects.

The fiery Aleksandar Mitrovic was five games into his Toon career before his first red card against Arsenal

McClaren watched his side lose again at home

Public relations…

McClaren was furious when the free press were barred from his unveiling and only preferred media partners invited.

The upshot was a wave of negative coverage of both the club and the new boss, who was criticised for failing to oppose the move.

What Newcastle’s hierarchy fail to grasp is that negativity breeds negativity. There is a toxic feel to the club that shows no sign of lifting.

They tried to improve their communications with fans during the summer by sending emails and McClaren rivalled author Bill Bryson with his travelogue of the US tour.

But there has been no inbox delivery since early September when Charnley hailed ‘exceptional signings’ and the ‘immediate impact’ they were about to make.

They have lost every match since.

Newcastle supporters turned on McClaren (bottom right) after another abject performance by the Magpies

Cup of woe…

The loss to the Owls was the 10th time they have exited a cup at the third round in the eight years since Ashley's arrival.

Nothing has angered supporters more than their de-prioritisation of the cup competitions.

That changed this summer when Charnley revealed that McClaren was ‘heavily incentivised’ to win a domestic trophy.

At least they’ve saved themselves a few quid in that respect.

Florian Thauvin arrives at the stadium ahead of the match at home to Watford last weekend wearing a tuxedo

And finally, they’re not so smart…

It was funny when Chancel Mbemba turned up in a tuxedo for the first game of the season. This Sportsmail reporter even tried to buy the same suit! When Thauvin did the same it felt as if the novelty had worn off. Now, after his own pitiful performances and the results of the team, it is way beyond a joke.

Where are the club suits? The players turn up for games looking like Reservoir Dogs – at least, that is, dogs dragged through a hedge backwards. Before one game recently a player stopped and asked a steward to knot his tie. Just like everything else at St James’ Park right now, it was painful to watch.