Avoid talking about your ex, don't ask how much money they make, and NEVER get drunk on the first date: Relationship expert's top tips to being more 'dateable'
- Relationship and dating expert Dr Pam Spurr's advice for single women
- She encouraged women to maintain a positive attitude about themselves
- Dr Spurr shared her first date do's and don'ts
- Women should not get drunk, talk about their ex or be overly sexual
- They should stay true to themselves and be prepared for the date
- The advice is written in Dr Spurr's book The Laws of Sisterhood
The date went well, you parted ways, he said he would call – but you never heard from him again.
Navigating the complex world of dating can be daunting, even without the mixed messages that come with the territory.
But relationship, dating and self-help expert Dr Pam Spurr has revealed the reasons why he never called – and what you can do to secure a second date – in her guide for single women The Laws of Sisterhood.
Dr Spurr told Daily Mail Australia when it comes to dating, honesty is the best policy.
Why didn't he call? A new book has revealed the reasons why you never heard from him again, and what you can do to make yourself more 'dateable'
‘If a date has gone well and he never rings … it maybe has nothing to do with you but it’s about him thinking “I’m not ready to be dating”,’ Dr Spurr, who lives in the UK, said.
‘Or he might thing he’s too busy, or think she seemed like a lovely person but I don’t want to lead her on, I’m not looking for anything right now, all sorts of things that are about him and not about you.’
Dr Spurr said women looking to date or find a relationship needed to let go of the ‘romantic checklist’ they expected men to comply with and look at people with ‘new eyes’.
Show confidence: Attracting a man starts with your mental attitude, think positively about yourself and what you would bring to a relationship
'People have the most detailed romantic checklists,’ she said.
‘But you need to tear up the checklist and widen your circle of opportunity, and when you do, you’ll start to be open minded to someone else.’
Attracting the right man, Dr Spurr said, started with a shift in your mental attitude.
‘Be thinking positively about yourself,’ she said.
‘Think of your two best attributes whenever you leave the house and might come in to contact with a single man.
Mind your manners: On a first date present the best version of yourself
Stay true to yourself: Pretending to share his passion for rugby will only lead to complications later on
‘Make it a daily habit and you will be ready for spontaneous meetings too.’
Once you have secured that all-important date, Dr Spurr said there was a certain date etiquette that needed to be followed.
And getting drunk on the first date, talking about your ex partners and being overtly sexual were all traits women should avoid.
‘People don’t want to hear about your ex-boyfriend on the first date,’ she said.
How do I look? Constantly checking your make-up or reapplying lipstick is a dating don't, as men do not see the imperfections women do
Be prepared: Get your outfit ready for your date the night before so you don't arrive late or flustered
The dating bible: Dr Pam Spurr has released The Laws of Sisterhood
‘Another big thing is if she arrives nervous and flustered.
‘Get your outfit ready the night before, take it to work so it’s with you ready to change in to and rather than coming home and throwing things around your bedroom and trying six different outfits you will create a comfort zone and a nice relaxed feeling.’
Continually checking your hair and make-up throughout the date is another turn-off for men who, Dr Spurr said, don’t see the imperfections women do.
‘Don’t pick at your food, order a meal and eat your meal, otherwise they will think you’re obsessed about your weight,’ Dr Spurr said.
‘Be yourself, but be your best possible self, put your best foot forward.
‘Be ready to flirt, flirting makes the world go round, but there’s a difference between flirting and being overly sexual.’
For women coming out of a long term relationship or a divorce, Dr Spurr said it was important to only start dating when you’re ‘having more good days than bad’.
‘Trying to fill a vacuum in your life is not a reason to date, loneliness is not a reason to date, you need to feel better about yourself and become more connected with your friends.
‘When a woman has a couple of solid friendships it helps you on the dating scene because your self-esteem is higher.’
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