all 13 comments

[–]ImBlowingBubbles 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I am firmly in the camp of "I just don't give a crap anymore!"

You are a kindred spirit! I am at a point where I feel the exact same way!

I just feel really bad for Hae's family since I know whats its like to be victim's family. I just don't see any good coming out of this stupid internet pissing contest between Bob and whoever that islamisawesome person is.

So many events of the last month are just massive red flags that some people on both sides are far too invested, emotionally and financially now in "winning an internet debate".

[–]InTheory_[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

A lot changed for me after I adopted that view. I'm sure you can testify to that as well.

Not caring is entirely different than not having an opinion. I know it sounds harsh to say I don't care ... but let's face it, my opinion isn't keeping him in prison, nor is it what's getting him out. To think otherwise is hubris.

It was very much eye opening to see how invested I myself had become. As much as I rambled on about not marching for anyone's cause, there I was, right with them in the march. Resisting pressure from a cult is an extremely difficult thing, even for people who are trained in cults.

There are a lot of cool people on the guilty side who I never got to know. They were the enemy. I'm not proud to admit that. I always imagined myself above such petty nonsense, yet I wasn't. And now I want to know those people. I'd have a beer with them anytime. Now I have to wonder if I shot myself in the foot and damaged my reputation by not recognizing that sooner.

Even my views on the case were clearly held by pure emotion rather than reason. I see the case entirely differently now. I started hearing what people were saying. I wasn't just dismissing it outright. And people have good points to make on both sides.

Ultimately, it is so much more FREEING. More of us need to get the word out about that. I was banned and labelled as an enemy, and I'll admit that hurt. However, for everyone else, you can leave on your own and learn this lesson without any of the pain I endured. Seriously, you will feel better about it almost immediately.

[–]ImBlowingBubbles 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ultimately, it is so much more FREEING. More of us need to get the word out about that. I was banned and labelled as an enemy, and I'll admit that hurt. However, for everyone else, you can leave on your own and learn this lesson without any of the pain I endured. Seriously, you will feel better about it almost immediately.

This is especially true when I think about the whole pointless burial position debate. Its a minor thing. It won't change anyone's mind at all. Both innocent and guilty narratives can easily adjust without much difference to any evidence here. So why are some people so determined to "win internet debate"?

For me, I realized I can never be convinced what the truth really is, based on what we know. So why bother getting upset about it? I totally know what you mean about that seeming a little insensitive, because I had that thought too. But really, its like I can't ever totally know the truth unless some truly major event happens, which is unlikely.

So its just not worth it to get so invested in something I just can't actually know for sure. Its especially not worth it to just battle with random people over something that neither of us really knows for sure. And I have been guilty of that one on both sides as I switched my lean haha.

Its fun to debate and discuss as long as its on a mental exercise level but so often here it turns personal and hyperbolic and just plain weird.

[–]ImBlowingBubbles 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm going to edit my post in a minute to share more thoughts I just want to say thank you. This is probably one of the most insightful, perceptive and self-aware posts I have ever read. I completely agree :)

[–]TheHerodotusMachine 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I was curious of what goes on behind the closed doors of some of the serial subreddits, but reading about them on here...I am glad I wasn't around.

As Season 1 wraps up, hopefully the stress on the community wanes and friendships blossom, man!

[–]InTheory_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't know how I missed this two days ago, but better to respond late than never.

Oddly enough, I was never truly privy to what was going on behind closed doors. By the time I got any real details, the news was months out of date. I knew the sub was turning into a cult (and still is). There was just nothing I could do about it. I didn't have details to expose anything. I did what I could, and still wrestle with wondering if what I did was the wisest and best course, or if there other options that I missed.

However, let me tell you personally that your new sub is looking great. You've got good conversation there and some really cool people.

[–]alientic 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I actually have one question (and you probably aren't the best person to answer this, but I don't really want to start an entire new thread and it's feasibly possible that you do know): When the NU was originally kicking people out, why'd you get rid of Krista? She seems like the one person you'd definitely want to keep around in that circumstance.

And me, although I get that. I was sad, but I get it.

[–]InTheory_[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Yeah, I'm not the one to ask about that.

I don't think it was NU that kicked her out though. I remember her saying something about that in /u/LeakinParkRangers (for which I had access for something like a week, and didn't even know existed prior, that tells you how in the loop I am). That conversation was with the NU2 crew, and she wasn't blaming any of us. My one and only interaction there was to express support for /u/Tuppance_Beresford when she got banned from TMP. (that's a shameless plug for me finally being free to express solidarity to who my friends actually were without fear of repercussions) I don't remember what Krista said she was banned from or who banned her, I no longer have access to that sub.

You may want to ask that question to ABL. ABL kicked her from one of the subs under Undisclosed's oversight.

EDIT: Clarity

[–]alientic 2 points3 points  (2 children)

And I've never even heard of that sub. Apparently I'm even less in the loop than you are. I'm okay with that :P

I thought she said on TMP that she came to TMP because she got kicked out of the original NU when the rest of us did? Maybe I'm misremembering something. Who knows?

[–]InTheory_[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I don't know either. A LARGE part of my comment history is gone, so I have nothing to refresh my memory with. And since I was walking into a conversation I knew NOTHING about, it didn't make a lot of sense to me, making it all that much harder for me to remember and repeat it now.

When NU was originally shut down, everyone got booted, Krista included. It's not like I was an exception either. My story about how I got invited back was that I sent her a PM asking how things were. What you may not know about /u/Frosted_Mini-Wheats is that she is an amazing cook. She was my source for cooking baking needs. So after a few rounds of conversation about cooking, she invited me back into the sub. Honestly, I don't know the story behind how others got invited back or what her criteria was. I do know that she wanted to take the sub in a completely different direction. Extrapolating from that, and this is just speculation, Krista wouldn't then have her celebrity status, she'd be like any of us who didn't have access.

[–]alientic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fair enough! Yeah, I didn't know everyone got kicked out - I knew I got kicked out, and that was pretty much the extent of it because one of my main goals was to stay as far out of the drama as possible while still somehow trying to figure out what's going on, haha. Can be difficult. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to answer my question! :)

[–]serial-mahogany 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Thank you for sharing your perspective. And thank you for keeping an open, critical mind through your Serial adventure. That's not an easy thing to do, no matter which side one might be on.

Good luck with your move forward! May the cool people surround you wherever you are.

(As a side note, it's a shame that post will shortly be hidden behind another private sub.)

[–]InTheory_[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a side note, it's a shame that post will shortly be hidden behind another private sub

I know! I may have to bite the bullet and cross post it in my personal sub which will remain public. I really, really wanted to keep that sub free of all this drama.