World's most famous bald pick-up artist and author of The Game reveals why he's given up orgies and porn and having any girl he wanted - for monogamy 

  • Neil Strauss, author of The Game, has married after 10 years of dating 
  • He turned pick-up artistry into a mainstream activity with his game plan
  • But in 2009 he had a crisis of conscience and checked in to rehab
  • Friends including Orlando Bloom advised him against marriage, he claims
  • But in 2013 he wed model Ingrid De La O, killed off his Style persona

He was the don of dating.

Author of fabled seduction guide The Game, Neil Strauss revolutionized the idea of pick-up artistry.

It led to a life of swingers' parties, orgies, and mixing with porn stars and celebrities.  

But after 10 years of play, he has decided to step off the field to venture into his latest daunting challenge: old-fashioned monogamy.

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Pick up artist Neil Strauss has left the field of dating for a life of old-fashioned monogamy. The best-selling author is pictured, left, after publishing The Game
wedding

Changed: Pick up artist Neil Strauss has left the field of dating for a life of old-fashioned monogamy. The best-selling author is pictured, left, after publishing The Game and, right, at his wedding to Ingrid, a model, in 2013

His roster of tips on how even the most unattractive men can woo women made Strauss a worldwide star

His roster of tips on how even the most unattractive men can woo women made Strauss a worldwide star

His new book The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships details the moment he realized all the parties and the dates were not fulfilling him. 

Now married, having endured grueling stints in rehab, he claims he is finally content.

The Game came started as a desperate attempt to overcome his own flaws, Strauss wrote in his pivotal New York Times article in 2004. 

'I am far from attractive,' he wrote. 'My nose is large for my face and, while not hooked, has a bump in the ridge. Though I am not bald, to say that my hair is thinning would be an understatement. 

'I have indentations on either side of my forehead, which I like and believe add character to my face, though I've never actually received a compliment on them. When I look down at my pale, skinny body, I wonder why any woman would want to sleep next to it, let alone embrace it.' 

His answer? Entering the pick up artist (PUA) community. 

He developed his own roster of techniques - under the persona 'The Style' - including a move calling 'negging', which involves using backhanded compliments to lower a woman's self-esteem and deter male competition.

Every little tip was compiled into a book, The Game, which marked the beginning of his rise to stardom.

He mingled with the likes of Marilyn Manson and stars would clamor around him to hear his tips

He mingled with the likes of Marilyn Manson and stars would clamor around him to hear his tips

with Tommy Lee of Motley Cru
with Dave Navarro

Even attractive stars would seek help from the 5-foot-6 bald writer. He is pictured, left, with Tommy Lee of Motley Cru and, right, with Dave Navarro. But by 2009 he decided his high-flying life was not fulfilling

HOW TO PLAY THE GAME: SOME OF NEIL STRAUSS'S TOP TIPS 

Eye contact: If you make eye contact with someone you like, hold your gaze. During conversation, practice 'triangular gazing' - look at one eye, then the other, then their mouth, then back again.

Conversation: Practice small talk every day so it's second nature.

Be spontaneous: Do not think before you speak, it will be obvious.

Be prepared to fail: If you care too much, it will never happen.

Play hard to get: Display some talent near them - not at them - and pretend you didn't notice them. 

Neg: 'Negging' is playfully insulting. Supposedly, it draws the person in.

Never fight

Be fun

It drew fierce criticism from many, mainly women's groups, who slammed the notion of tricking girls into bed. 

However, the book sat stubbornly on the New York Times Bestseller List for two months in 2005. As he gained a following, VH1 even launched a TV series The Pickup Artist. And the hit movie Hitch, starring Will Smith, is based on his observations. 

Still working as a writer for Rolling Stone, his interviewees - and wing men - included Marilyn Manson, Orlando Bloom and the Wu-Tang Clan.

His friends include comedian Russell Brand, who provided a cover quote for the 2007 edition of The Game.

‘Neil Strauss’s writing turned me from a desperate wallflower into a wallflower who can talk women into sex,' prolific dater Brand said.

Brand also discussed ‘notches on the bedpost’ when he interviewed Strauss several years ago on a BBC Radio show, and implored him to teach the listeners how to up their 'notches’.

But now, everything has changed.  

'[Record producer] Rick Rubin, my mentor, told me, "You did The Game. You could get any woman you want, so why are you still so unhappy?' Strauss, now 46, reminisces in an interview with the New York Post.

'Rick said, "Maybe the thing you're chasing isn't actually the thing you really wanted."'

Having spent years in alcohol-and drug-fueled parties, even at one point downing liquid Viagra, he checked himself in to rehab. 

Much of his desperation to bag dates and be the soul of the party, he found, was rooted in issues from childhood, watching his parents' uncomfortable marriage.

'For me, it was about my mom really disliking and resenting my dad,' he says. 'There was a line my mom always used to tell me: "Never grow up to make anyone as miserable as your dad makes me."'

Orlando Bloom was one of many of his famous friend to shut down his idea to settle down, Strauss writes in his book.

While still married to Miranda Kerr, he told him: 'I don't know if marriage is worth it. I don't know why anyone does it.'

But he battled through. In 2013 he married model Ingrid De La O, after holding a funeral-themed bachelor party to bid farewell to his Style persona.

And his latest book, which goes into searing detail of his antics in the PUA community, has been crucial to cementing this next phase of his life, he said.

Strauss met Ingrid De La O (pictured together) in 2010 as he was embarked on rehabilitation and therapy

Strauss met Ingrid De La O (pictured together) in 2010 as he was embarked on rehabilitation and therapy

Journey: He said his book was tough for Ingrid to read as it laid bare his colorful life on the dating scene

Journey: He said his book was tough for Ingrid to read as it laid bare his colorful life on the dating scene

The couple (pictured) married in 2013 after a funeral-themed bachelor party laying to rest his 'Style' persona

The couple (pictured) married in 2013 after a funeral-themed bachelor party laying to rest his 'Style' persona

Miranda Kerr was one of many of his famous friend to shut down his idea to settle down by saying she thought marriage wasn't 'all that', Strauss writes in his book. But he battled through and finally married Ingrid

Miranda Kerr was one of many of his famous friend to shut down his idea to settle down by saying she thought marriage wasn't 'all that', Strauss writes in his book. But he battled through and finally married Ingrid

'It's really hard for her to read, obviously,' he told the Post. 

'All my horrible thoughts and the terrible things I've done are in there, and when she finished reading, she knew who I was and had no fear anymore. The lesson here is that the things you're most afraid to share with your partner are the things you probably should share.'

He still runs classes at StyleAcademy for $19 a week, however, offering everyone, as he puts it, 'the kind of learning program that I would have slit my wrist to have back when I was starting out in the game.'

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