'Man, I’m like borderline suicidal': Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker talks about his darkest days in revealing interview
He has survived a booze and drugs addiction and a plane crash in 2008 that killed four and left him with burns on 65 percent of his body.
Now Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker has revealed how he battled post-traumatic stress disorder and survivor’s guilt following the crash that made him feel suicidal.
The 39-year-old talked about his darkest days in an interview with music bible Billboard, published on Thursday, as he promoted his new biography Can I Say: Living Large, Cheating Death, And Drums, Drums, Drums.
Fright fest: Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker, pictured at Knotts Berry Park's Scary Farm black carpet event to launch its Halloween makeover, has revealed how close he was to suicide in an interview with Billboard
But if 2008 was bad, the lowest point in his life came in 2004.
'I was so addicted to Oxycodone, and I had a security [guard] that would actually sleep during the day and then stay up at night to make sure I was breathing. That was pretty pathetic,' Travis said.
'My bones were so brittle from so much painkiller use. I had this moment when I got to Europe for that tour where I really identified myself as a dumpster. And I wasn’t proud. I was scared.
Getting his story out there: Travis's Billboard interview, published on Thursday, promoted the 39-year-old's memoir, Can I Say: Living Large, Cheating Death, And Drums, Drums, Drums, due out on October 20
'I had to call [Blink-182 member] Mark [Hoppus] and say, "Hey, man. I’m like borderline suicidal. I’m going crazy. I need to go home."
'Like not even one show had started. I’d been there two days. I hadn’t slept one day. It was like naw, man. I need to go home and get my head right. So I think that was the most disappointing time.'
And he credits his two children - Landon, 12, and Alabama Luella, who will be 10 on Christmas Eve - for giving him the strength to get clean, get help and carry on with his career.
Working father: Travis kicked off his Las Vegas residency, titled Give the Drummer Some, at Hyde Bellagio at the Bellagio Casino on August 18. He will next be there on November 3
Their mother is his second wife, Playmate Shanna Moakler, whom he split from in 2006 after two years of marriage and finally divorced in 2008.
Travis told Billboard he is now in a much better place in his life, eight years sober from hard drugs. He is also dating singer Rita Ora.
His memoir, co-written with Gavin Edwards, is due for release on October 20.
The kids he lives for: The drummer credits Alabama, left, and Landon, right, with giving him the will to carry on. The family is pictured on the black carpet at Knott's Scary Farm in Buena Park, California, on October 1
On Thursday the drummer posted a picture of the pile of his books on instagram.
He captioned it: 'This Friday at famoussas.com, preorder your limited edition "Can I Say” bundle that includes a signed and personalized copy of my memoir and an individually numbered bookmark, hand-cut from one of my used drumheads.
'Only 50 bundles will be available so make sure you get yours this Friday at 9AM PST at famoussas.com. #RadTimes #FamousFamily #CanISay #DrumsDrumsDrums.'
Doting dad: Travis also took his children to the opening night celebration of Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Hollywood on September 18, in Universal City, California
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