So, I now see rather a lot of children’s television, and I have some questions. 21 to be exact.
Peppa Pig
1. Why would Mummy Pig climb a blackberry bush? Who climbs blackberry bushes?
2. Will children be more upset when they discover Father Christmas is not real, or when they discover what would really have happened to Pedro Pony when he broke his leg?
3. Why are everyone’s eyes on the same side of their heads? More importantly, what is on the other side?
CBeebies
4. Why do the CBeebies presenters have a baby?
5. Where did the CBeebies presenters get a baby from?
6. Do the authorities know the CBeebies presenters have a baby?
7. Where do the CBeebies presenters keep the baby?
8. Does the CBeebies baby like it in her drawer?
Topsy and Tim
9. Why didn’t Topsy and Tim retain its original title, Village of the Damned 2: The Midwich Cuckoos Bred?
Baby Jake
10. Why don’t Baby Jake’s family have some kind of child safe window guards or latches, given that they live in a windmill (and seem to spend an inordinate amount of time encouraging a multitude of children to lean out of the windows)? What kind of a safety message is this sending out to all the other ten children families living in windmills?
11. Why do Baby Jake’s family live in a windmill?
Mr Bloom
12. How is Mr Bloom ‘all about and everywhere’? Is Mr Bloom a god?* Father Christmas?
Woolly and Tig
13. Does anyone ever wash Woolly? Apparently, the average cuddly toy, engaging in average cuddly toy activities, is filthy and full of bacteria. I can only assume Woolly is probably carrying bubonic plague by now.
Waybuloos
14. Why? That is all.
In the Night Garden
15. Why do the Tombliboos trousers matches their arses?
16. Why do the Tombliboos bother to wear trousers?
17. Why don’t the Tombliboos lend their pointless trousers too Upsy Daisy, who can’t keep her dress down?
18. Why do the Ninky Nonk and the Pinky Ponk randomly change size? I was going to say it’s like being in a dream. That may be why. Scratch this one.
19. Who thought Makka Pakka was a good idea for a name in a programme aimed at children who are just learning to talk and prone to mispronunciation?
20. I know people have asked before, but is Iggle Piggle dead?
Mr Tumble
21. Why did nobody question whether having Mr Tumble ask children to look for his ‘three special things’ was the best way to phrase it?
Topsy & Tim – Are Mum & Dad really part of a neighbourhood swingers club… just me?!?!
#SundayStars
The Ninky Nonk and Pinky Ponk changing sizes all the time irritates me an irrational amount.
The thing I find weirdest about Peppa Pig is the way mammals seem to be people whilst birds and reptiles are pets. But they get a ride-on horse with wheels (despite having Pedro Pony as a friend) and the queen is still human and it just…stresses me out.
#AnythingGoes
Haha this is funny. I was In the Night Garden with my little one and it makes me laugh when I watch it….I don’t thank Iggle Piggle as when he falls backwards at the end, my little boy copies so have to try and catch him to stop any pre bedtime injury….. #fartglitter x
My babies are all grown up and I have never seen any of these on TV… :o( They are excellent questions though!
Why does the Ninky Nonk keep changing size? I’m glad that freaks you out too. It actually makes me want to swear at the telly! Also why does Upsy Daisy’s hair appear to move independently? Wrong wrong wrong! Brilliant post as always. I do enjoy my little visits to your blog ;0) #fartglitter
I want some of whatever the people who created In The Night Garden are on …!
I think the answer to all of these questions is that you need more pinky pink juice.
I think the answer to all of these questions is that you need more pinky ponk juice.
Sorry, didn’t mean to post this twice. Got a bit excited about the pinky ponk juice. Delete away!
I’ve never heard of these. The kids TV here is mostly of the Japanese anime variety. Your programs sound appealing in comparison. The one about the horse with the broken leg is perfection.
Thanks so much for linking up to #fartglitter x
Oh how you make me laugh. as usual
I watch all of these on a daily basis and am generally quite happy to go along with most of it. Except… Topsy and Tim’s mum. She is rather perfect. Her hair! is styled. Her make up! is flawless. And she never gets annoyed or has a small glass of wine mid-afternoon to get her through to “daddy’s home!”
Share your secret Mrs Topsy&Tim
Great post!
xx
#TwinklyTuesday
This is such a funny post, I love it! ALL of the CBeebies questions about the baby I have too. But I confess I secretly love Waybuloo, maybe even more than my little one!! #babybrainmonday