Good morning! And hello to the end of week 37!!! First of all, I feel I should apologise for the heavily edited photograph. I took it on my way out to meet friends last night, and all I can say is that in colour, my face resembles that of an orange. I tried a new foundation just before leaving, and either I looked quite frankly luminous last night, or the foundation does not photograph well, I'm hoping it's the latter. Either way, the only way the photograph was getting on this post was in black and white, and I thought that was better than no photograph at all!!!!
Weirdly, when soooo many people kept saying how huge I looked earlier in my pregnancy, now people are saying how neat of a bump I have!! This week one woman even asked me if my dates were right as my bump was 'too' small!!!! I think that really shows not to listen to a single comment about your bump size during pregnancy. Maybe the bump is like an optical illusion and some people see an elephant and some people see a mouse. Or something like that. Anyway, the moral of this blog is don't listen to a word, unless it's complimentary of course!
On the whole I've felt really well this last week, but I'm definitely feeling more tired and I like to be in bed by the very late hour of 9pm. Lie-in's and naps in the day are out of the question with my three year old daughter, so I'm getting my sleep in wherever I can.
I do have some days where I know I have done way too much, and by the time my husband gets home in the evening, I will be exhausted. I then, on occasion, have burst into tears wailing that if I go into labour at that precise moment there is no way I can push the baby out!!! I'm not quite sure what the right answer is for my husband to say at this point, but he smiles sympathetically and tells me to take it easy, probably whilst thinking where has the sane girl gone whom he married!
As well as wailing about being too tired, I've also felt a little bit emotional that my pregnancy is coming to an end. I actually like being pregnant, which, when I told my friend this, she spat her drink out. I know, I know. I probably spent the first 20 or so weeks crying into the toilet, but even at my worst worst moments, somewhere in my head, I knew this was our little miracle.
I know the pain of not knowing if you will ever hold your own baby in your arms. I have sat and cried with friends who have gone through IVF and fertility treatments. I have consoled friends who have lost babies. To carry and give birth to a healthy baby is truly a miracle. And now my time is nearly up. Obviously I know that once baby is born I get to experience that amazing first cry, that first cuddle, those first heady days of utter exhaustion and utter love.
But as I feel baby wiggle and kick, part of me thinks, is this the last time I will ever feel this? For me, the end of pregnancy is almost bitter-sweet. And whilst I cannot wait to meet baby, I am in no rush for this pregnancy to end. I plan on savouring every second of my last two weeks.