'In my two year marriage, I had sex twice': Men and women who remained virgins until after marriage reveal whether or not it was REALLY worth the wait

  • People who waited to have sex until marriage shared their stories of fairy tale success and utter failure on a new Reddit thread
  • Some told awkward stories of fumbling in the dark, while others had fond memories of the beginning of long, happy marriages

Several men and women who decided to lose their virginity on their wedding night have revealed what it's really like to wait - and what their first time was like.

From cringe-worthy stories of utter confusion of the mechanics of the act to fond memories of the beginnings of long and happy marriages, the stories shared on a new AskReddit thread were spread right across the board. 

'Redditors who waited until marriage to have sex, how was it and was it worth waiting? Serious replies only,' stated the original poster on the thread. 

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How was it? Men and women who waited to have sex until after marriage have shared their incredibly varied stories on a new AskReddit thread (photo for representation)

How was it? Men and women who waited to have sex until after marriage have shared their incredibly varied stories on a new AskReddit thread (photo for representation)

Greatgasby described how his first experience on his wedding night was fraught with confusion over each other's bodies - but that it wasn't all bad.

'Takes a lot of time to get "perfect" but otherwise its not bad. But sometimes a part of me wished I was experienced, as its taking a long time to get perfect. But the bigger part of is happy I shared an intimate thing with the love of my life.'

Slinky999, however, not only had a terrible first time on her wedding night, but things never became perfect like she had hoped.

'I waited with my first husband. We were both virgins. Little did I know that we were very sexually incompatible in many ways. This wasn't the main reason why we divorced, but it certainly was a contributor.

'I don't want my kids to make the same mistake I did. Of course they know about birth control, emotional issues in relationships, waiting until you are ready, etc. You don't REALLY know someone until you've had sex and have lived with each other for a while, to be totally frank.

'If I had lived with my ex before marriage, we likely never would have married.' 

Regret: Some of the stories told on the thread were ones filled with regret and marked by failed first marriages

Regret: Some of the stories told on the thread were ones filled with regret and marked by failed first marriages

The other side: Other Reddit users told tales of happy and loving relationships that cherish the fact that they have only ever been with each other

The other side: Other Reddit users told tales of happy and loving relationships that cherish the fact that they have only ever been with each other

Gtakiller0914 was another user who saw his decision to wait as something he regretted. After having been a sociable high school boy who had several girlfriend who eventually left because he refused to have sex, he found a girl who shared his sentiments.

'We eventually got engaged in college, where we decided to keep sex off to table until marriage. Big f***ing mistake there. I wanted to catch up to all that I missed, but that was doomed from the start.

'In my two year marriage, I had sex twice. She had anxiety so after our rough first time, it scared her. She refused to do it at all until our honeymoon a month later. We tried, it failed. I resorted to ****ing off in our bathroom for a few years. When I told her I was falling out of love with her, she decided to do everything she could to keep me there. She even tied a bow around herself like she was a present from Santa. The years of bathroom use and no sex causes my penis to flatline for her.

'Today, I know she makes up lies on why we broke up. She says it's all my fault, but that's not true. I did the best I could for years. She only tried in the very end.

'Now I have a lovely fiancée, a baby on the way, and a great job. She's really showed what I missed out on.' 

st3ve Back then we were both good Christians, so the wedding night was highly anticipated. Guess what? Didn't work. As in, we knew what to do, but it was too dry and we were tired so we just went to sleep. The next morning was ok, and we figured things out at least once a day over the next couple months. There have been ups and downs since then, but I guess it was good enough that even after she left ten years later we still hooked up a couple times. 

Working on it: Several posters explained how they had trouble working out their sexual chemistry

Working on it: Several posters explained how they had trouble working out their sexual chemistry

Lucking out: This woman was lucky to discover that her and her husband were a perfect physical match on their wedding night - and the 24 hours to follow

Lucking out: This woman was lucky to discover that her and her husband were a perfect physical match on their wedding night - and the 24 hours to follow

All for it: Many of the posters expressed that they would never change a thing about their choice to wait

All for it: Many of the posters expressed that they would never change a thing about their choice to wait

Derigiberble's failed marriage all began with a wedding night that was, in his words, 'an absolute disaster' - and claims it led to him 'becoming a pretty strong feminist'.

'We both had grown up in South Carolina and in addition to a cultural aversion to discussion of sex in any way, especially as it related to women, the sex ed pretty much consisted of fear-mongering about pregnancy and how no birth control actually works (so don't have sex!). 

'So what did that lead to? A huge fear of sex on her part which manifested as extreme vaginismus. Of course nobody fucking told us about that being a thing so we just chalked it up to first time pain. Then second time pain.. then third..

'Eventually her libido cratered and the usual sexless relationship story took over and everything became about sex. If I did the dishes early she would think I was just trying to get points for sex later, etc. After three and a half years I asked for a divorce.' 

But despite the large amount of negative experiences, there were also plenty of long-married people who did not hesitate for a moment to champion the practice of waiting for marriage. 

7Finger and his wife were both virgins when they wed after college at ages 23 and 22 respectively - and are still happily married 25 years on with their own children. 

'I don't regret it at all. There has never been any comparison or jealousy over previous relationships. There is no risk of disease or pregnancy. When I compare my life to people who have slept around I feel like I have it pretty good. 

'Sex is complicated and it complicates relationships. I have told my kids that it is the most physically and emotionally vulnerable you will ever be with another person, and it's not something to be taken lightly.' 

EverydayuntitledI, unlike many of the others, said she experienced incredible sexual chemistry with her husband on their wedding night and 'totally thought it was worth waiting'.

'We had sex like seven times in the first 24 hours of being married. It was fun, not awkward, and there was no crippling anxiety attached. It makes me sad to see all of these stories, so maybe we're an exception, but to TL;DR it was GREAT and it was definitely worth waiting. [sic]' 

BastionBlair, similarly to others who waited, married his wife in his early twenties and, though it 'took a couple of tries to mate successfully', he wouldn't change a thing.

'The only thing I am born with that I can give away I gave to her and she did the same. It's an amazing feeling that is still part of our relationship 15 years and two kids later. If for some reason I had to choose again, I would do exactly the same thing. I've only known one girl and that's my wife and I do whatever I can so that it stays that way.'

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