Tagged Cinderella

Thank You for Having a Lovely Time: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week

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After a break, and now appearing on entirely random days of the week because, frankly, Silly Mummy is still not quite sure what day it is (normal service will probably be resumed around February), it is time once again for The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week (or, in this case, at some point in the past three weeks or so).

So, without further ado, here is The Toddler:

1. On going out, not very good at it
The Toddler is sitting at the table colouring, and apparently making plans for the rest of her day: ‘I go out. I go out in the snow.’ It’s not snowing, of course, but The Toddler has always liked to invent imaginary weather for her imaginary trips. She continues with her planning: ‘I need to put my boots on to go out in the snow.’ She appears to have this all in hand, except… ‘I don’t have a key.’ The Toddler is contrite in the face of her newly revealed going out inadequacies, and quickly steps aside for a more experienced go outer, turning to Silly Mummy: ‘Maybe you’d better go out – I’m not very good at it.’

2. On books, not today
The Toddler picks up a book and starts ‘reading’, before experiencing an abrupt change of mind: ‘No, I’m not going to read the book. Throw the book away. No books today.’ Flinging the book aside, she marches off.

3. On bidding visitors farewell
The Toddler has been attempting proper etiquette surrounding farewells to visitors, seeing Grandma off with: ‘Thank you for having a lovely time!’ She may have got a little confused. Presumably she meant ‘thank you for visiting’. Still, her version is sweet, if a little presumptuous.

4. On invitations to her house
The Toddler, it would appear, is in fact a bit confused about many aspects of this saying goodbye to visitors business. During the same farewell to Grandma following her visit to what we all thought was The Toddler’s house, The Toddler says, ‘When you come back next time, you can visit my house.’ Does The Toddler have another house she’s hiding?

5. On storytelling
The Toddler has decided to tell The Baby a story. It’s quite good. Concise. Relatable. Clear conclusion. ‘Once upon a time there was a little The Baby called The Baby. And The End.’

6. On giving affection, bossily
The Toddler is attempting the bossiest display of sisterly affection ever: ‘Do cuddle, The Baby. Come here and do cuddle. Stand here for cuddle. Come and stand just here, and give me a cuddle.’

7. On being Silly Daddy’s fairy godmother
The Toddler has picked up a stick (magic wand) on the beach. She has also recently become obsessed with the live action version of Cinderella. This is probably connected to what she is doing with the stick: ‘I do magic wand trick. Put Daddy into a dress.’ Probably connected. Either way, Silly Daddy is now pretending to be suddenly wearing a fetching ballgown.

8. On scheduling an audience with herself
Silly Mummy, The Toddler and The Baby are at the shops. Silly Mummy is trying to speak to The Toddler, who is not currently available for Silly Mummy, informing her: ‘You be quiet. I’m just going to talk to The Baby, then I’ll talk to you.’

9. On that time she chopped off her hand
The Toddler is chattering to herself: ‘…That time I chopped off my hand…And I was very sad because I needed to see the doctor.’ Well, all Silly Mummy is saying is that this must have happened on Silly Daddy’s watch.

10. On Silly Mummy’s food, getting away
Silly Mummy has put down her (empty) bowl on the table, and is helping The Baby to finish her food. Silly Daddy comes and clears away Silly Mummy’s bowl, to much consternation from The Toddler: ‘Mummy, your food’s getting away! Get it back!’

 

If you’d like to see further posts in the ‘Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week’ feature, they can be found here.

Where’s The Baby’s Duck?

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The Baby now has several words*, and excellent parroting (in the traditional sense of the word, not her previous attempt at ‘parroting‘, which was rather literal). She still favours ‘duck’, though. She is not giving up on ‘duck‘.

The Baby has gathered from The Toddler that it is extremely important to insistently say ‘mummy’ repeatedly before making any other statement, in order to ensure that Silly Mummy is very clear that she is being spoken to. The Baby will therefore present (hit) Silly Mummy with a book thusly: ‘Mummy, Mummy, book!’ The Baby also likes to comment on the time of day. At about 4:30pm, she will point at the window and declare: ‘Mummy, Mummy, dark!’ Of course, impressive though The Baby’s vocabulary may be, she often finds that following ‘Mummy, Mummy’ she does not know the word she intended to say. This is obviously embarrassing for The Baby, and may be behind her habit of plonking herself on the naughty step for no apparent reason.

Speaking of the naughty step, during one naughty step episode for The Toddler, The Baby took up a position standing right in front of her and just silently pointed at her. Probably she wanted to know what was going on, possibly she thought she had located The Toddler in hide and seek, amusingly it looked as though she had appointed herself to the role of Chief Naughty Step Shamer.

The Baby is a prolific nodder and head shaker. She will answer any question this way, as well as indicating her position on matters being discussed (not being discussed with her, of course, just discussions she feels like she should get involved in). Her answers to questions are usually quite accurate, actually. Though she does, on occasion, get a little bit over confident. ‘Love you, The Baby. Can you say “love you”?’ The Baby nods emphatically: ‘Bah boo!’ Nearly.

The Baby can identify body parts, but does not generally say them. She decided to make an exception for her belly button because it’s so funny: ‘Belly beeyupta! Belly beeyupta!’ Fits of giggles ensue. The Baby amuses herself.

The Baby also sings. She sits in her high chair repeating ‘boo bu boo bu, boo bu boo bu’ in a high pitched voice. Following initial concerns that she is broken, Silly Mummy realises she is singing Bibidi Babadi Bu (following The Toddler’s viewing of Cinderella that morning).

The Baby has quickly picked up key phrases: ‘Bic snack!’ (She can also say The Toddler’s name, which is important when she needs to identify the culprit in the inevitable theft of her requested biscuit snack.) The Baby is additionally able to request her ‘slunch’. Why she decided this was a significant word to learn early on remains a mystery, as slunch is rarely eaten. In fact, it is usually fed to the imaginary ducks, as The Baby launches it over the edge of the high chair, screaming, ‘Duck!’

Other important skills and words The Baby has learnt (from The Toddler) include making television demands. Impressively, she has picked up both the appropriate tone and the fact that you should always ask for exactly the same thing (Sarah and Duck in her case). She points at the television and says: ‘Muuum, duck!’ She has recently become very excited about Peppa Pig. This does not appear to be based on any particular love of the programme, but on the fact that she has just realised she can say ‘pig’. She will now watch entire episodes jabbing towards the screen and yelling (and signing), ‘Pig!’ Should she see Grandpa Dog, she will yell, ‘Dog!’ To be honest, when any of the other animals appear, she looks a bit confused and waits until she can yell ‘pig’ or ‘dog’ again. (A ‘dog’ is not to be confused with a ‘dog??’, which is a rocking horse.)

The Baby can say ‘where’. She can also sign it. However, she seems to feel that, no matter what she is looking for, the phrase is: ‘Where’s duck?’ The Toddler is hiding (hiding = standing in the middle of the room pretending she is inconspicuous). The Baby is looking for her, though this would not be obvious from her commentary: ‘Where’s duck?’ Silly Mummy asks The Baby where the apple is, The Baby nods and obediently totters off in search of the apple: ‘Where’s duck?’ Silly Daddy has left the room and The Baby is looking for him: ‘Daddy! Daddy!’
Silly Mummy says, ‘Where’s Daddy?’
The Baby yells, ‘Daddy! Where’s duck?’ In all fairness to The Baby, it is possible she is simply from the Midlands (or Sheffield), where referring to everything as ‘duck’ is acceptable.

(*Some examples of The Baby’s favourite words, as you (didn’t) ask. She says ‘Mummy’, ‘Daddy’ and ‘The Toddler’. Not actually ‘The Toddler’, of course: that would be weird. She says The Toddler’s name. She says ‘bath’ and ‘splash’ (usually together). ‘Ball’, and sometimes ‘throw’ and ‘catch’ (usually just before some kind of small missile hits Silly Mummy in the head). ‘Cat’, ‘dog’, ‘pig’, ‘duck’, ‘quack’, and ‘moo’. ‘Grapes’, ‘cheese’, ‘bic’, ‘snack’, and ‘lunch’ (well, ‘slunch’). ‘Ba boo’ (‘peekaboo’). ‘Dark’. ‘Book’. ‘Belly’.)