Madonna in meltdown: Is the bitter custody battle over Rocco (and his bond with Guy's beautiful new wife) pushing the pop icon over the edge? 

There may exist a woman pushing 60 who is pleased for her ex-husband when he marries a beautiful lingerie model 23 years younger than her.

Such a woman may even bear with good grace the fact that her ex and his new bride have three young children together.

Indeed, Madonna, 57, whose acting skills have occasionally been derided, convincingly pretended to be this woman for seven years, following her divorce from Guy Ritchie in 2008.

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Tears of a clown? Madonna on stage this week in Melbourne, as the bitter custody row over her 15-year-old son Rocco continues

The star has frequently drawn attention to the dispute using pictures of her son. When she finally arrived on stage this week in Melbourne, four hours late, dressed as a clown, she appeared drunk, crying about Rocco and as she dedicated a song to her estranged son, a picture of him as a toddler flashed up on screen

If she wasn’t thrilled about all the blessings bestowed upon Guy and his 34-year-old wife, Jacqui Ainsley, who tied the knot in a lavish celebration in August last year, she kept any grudges to herself. For a time, too, she kept her counsel about her own 15-year-old son’s growing closeness to his new stepmother. But then Rocco, the only child she had with Ritchie (she had dearly wanted more but age was not on her side) decided last December, after having been dragged across America and Canada on tour with his mother, that he would rather live with his dad and Jacqui in England than be part of the Madonna travelling circus.

After spending time with Guy and Jacqui at the start of the Christmas holidays, he refused to return to his mother in the U.S. And it was at that point that all pretence at civility towards her ex-husband ended. The dam burst.

Ever since, Madonna and Guy have been embroiled in a custody tussle over Rocco that yesterday reached a dramatic climax when the singer issued a heartfelt plea to her son to make ‘peace’ with the family. The singer, 57, although not present at the hearing because she was performing in Melbourne, Australia, begged her son to ‘heal the wounds’ on the final day of a High Court hearing about where Rocco lives.

After spending time with Guy (left) and Jacqui (centre) at the start of the Christmas holidays, Rocco (right) refused to return to his mother in the U.S.

She begged her son and her ex-husband to meet for a round-table discussion in New York over the Easter holidays.

David Williams QC, for Madonna, told the High Court in London: ‘What she has always thought to date is to find a way in which this family can come together to heal the wounds which have been inflicted on the family over the last four months and to chart a course for Rocco and family that enables them to put this behind them and restore peace to the family.’

The lawyer added that she viewed with ‘horror’ the prospect of future litigation.

It emerged during yesterday’s hearing, attended by Rocco, that Ritchie was worried about returning to New York because he feared arrest. In December, a New York judge ruled that Rocco should return to America to discuss his future with Madonna.

Rocco and Guy yesterday, after it emerged during the High Court hearing that Ritchie was worried about returning to New York because he feared arrest

Mr Williams continued: ‘She doesn’t see the resolution of this problem as her simply saying yes to Rocco, “Yes that’s fine, do as you wish, stay on living in London and having a good time.” That is not her role as a mother.’

Madonna’s wish for peace does not appear to extend to Ritchie’s new wife. The court heard yesterday that Madonna had tried to prevent Jacqui attending a High Court hearing the previous day, but her objection was dismissed and Ritchie’s wife was permitted to enter the court room.

A woman renowned for her self-control, Madonna’s mental state currently appears fragile. She is evidently devastated at her estrangement from her son. Where once she would have the occasional gin and tonic or glass of fine Bordeaux, she appears to be hitting the bottle to help numb her pain.

On Thursday this week, two contrasting scenes unfolded on opposite sides of the world that showed painfully the toll the dispute is taking. When Guy, Jacqui and Rocco arrived at the High Court in London, all seemed tense. While Jacqui looked as fresh-faced as ever, Guy — who has directed films Sherlock Holmes and The Man From U.N.C.L.E. — understandably looked every one of his 47 years.

Rocco, meanwhile, had a plaster cast on his left hand and was sporting a rather brutal shaven-haired look, which could be interpreted as a message to his mother who months earlier had embarrassed him by putting his long hair in bunches, taking a picture and posting it on her Instagram page.

Indeed, the star has frequently drawn attention to the dispute using pictures of her son. When she finally arrived on stage this week in Melbourne, four hours late, dressed as a clown, she appeared drunk, crying about Rocco and as she dedicated a song to her estranged son, a picture of him as a toddler flashed up on screen.

At one point she requested a Cosmopolitan cocktail, made with vodka and cranberry, which she knocked back on stage. Unfortunately, Madonna’s tactic of courting sympathy in the public arena appears to have had the effect of alienating Rocco further.

Nor has it helped smooth relations with her ex-husband. According to a friend of Ritchie, he has been observing his ex-wife’s antics with horror and his attitude towards her has hardened.

Madonna and Guy met in 1999, Rocco was born the following August and the couple married four months later in Scotland. Madonna already had a daughter, Lourdes, now 19, from an earlier relationship with Carlos Leon, a fitness trainer. They are pictured together in 2007

‘Guy thinks she’s lost it,’ says the friend. ‘Since he’s had Rocco living with him, he’s been hearing first-hand how she behaves as a mother, which is very controlling. And not in a way he thinks is good for their son. He feels Rocco is old enough to decide on his own life.’

Madonna and Guy met in 1999, Rocco was born the following August and the couple married four months later in Scotland. Madonna already had a daughter, Lourdes, now 19, from an earlier relationship with Carlos Leon, a fitness trainer.

At the outset, they were in love, and Madonna made a great play of being ‘Mrs Ritchie’, enthusiastically adopting the persona of her own idea of an English lady of the manor. They purchased Ashcombe House, a Georgian manor and shooting estate where the photographer Cecil Beaton lived in the Thirties.

Playing ‘Mr Madonna’, however, was a strain on Guy. In 2006, the couple adopted David Banda, a Malawian orphan, now ten. But by this time the marriage was all but over and they divorced in 2008.

Back with his Dad and Jacqui at the start of the Christmas holidays, Rocco apparently made up his mind he wasn’t going back to his mother

Not long afterwards, Madonna adopted a Malawian girl, Mercy James, now also ten.

While Madonna moved restlessly from one very young toy boy to another, Guy settled down quickly with Jacqui Ainsley, the daughter of two teachers from Westcliff-on-Sea, Essex. Three children followed — son Rafael, four, daughter Rivka, three, and son Levi, 21 months. Last August, Guy and Jacqui married at the sprawling Wiltshire property he once owned with Madonna.

The guests, who included Brad Pitt and David Beckham, slept in yurts erected around the 1,100-acre estate.

According to one friend at the wedding, the occasion may have planted the seed in Rocco’s mind that he could enjoy a more settled way of life with his father and stepmother.

‘There was an amazing A-list crowd at the wedding, but it was a really down-to-earth event,’ says the friend.

‘We all started a conga and Rocco showed Brad what to do. It was hilarious as we snaked round the house and garden. Rocco seemed completely at ease and had a few friends with him.

‘With his mother it is the opposite. There is always a big entourage and it is stressful at times, as his mother is very demanding.’

Rocco’s closeness to his stepmother must be a source of anguish to Madonna. In an interview with the Evening Standard last September, the new Mrs Ritchie spoke about her relationship with her stepsons, David Banda and Rocco.

‘David’s a dreamboat, and so is Rocco — they’re fabulous human beings. Their parents have done a good job on them. Guy’s divorce was two years before I arrived on the scene, so I think I came in at the right time of their lives, lovely ages — Rocco must have been eight and David four. We love to have them as much as possible, the house seems quiet after they go.’

Interestingly, Jacqui is learning how to play the guitar — an instrument at which the first Mrs Ritchie is adept. Jacqui says: ‘I’ve been teaching myself guitar from YouTube. Rocco and I are about the same level. We both play Wonderwall a hundred times a day.’

But a month after the wedding, Rocco was back with his mother for her tour which began in Canada. In November, signs of tension appeared when Rocco kept his mother waiting in her chartered tour plane on the Tarmac at Stockholm airport before belatedly turning up. A friend of Ritchie says Rocco was tiring of being embarrassed by his mother posting pictures of him online and also her strictness.

‘One of the great contradictions about Madonna is that she’s so flamboyant and provocative, and yet she’s the opposite with her kids — really very tough on what they can and can’t do,’ says the source. ‘I don’t envy Rocco.’

The friend says Madonna’s self-absorbed nature means she would not be able to understand that Rocco might find it mortifying to have his hair put in bunches.

Back with his Dad and Jacqui at the start of the Christmas holidays, Rocco apparently made up his mind he wasn’t going back to his mother.

A panicked Madonna went to the Manhattan Supreme Court before Christmas to try to force the issue and the judge said Rocco must return to America to discuss the situation before a decision could be reached. Rocco, however, did not return.

He has since been living with his Dad and Jacqui at their London townhouse and attending school in North London.

As a result, Madonna has rapidly fallen into despair.

A few weeks later, she was forced to deny claims she was drunk during a concert in Kentucky. Then when she came on stage two days later in Nashville, Tennessee, her response to a fan who shouted out, asking her to marry him, was inflammatory.

‘I’m looking for a husband, not a c***,’ she reportedly replied. ‘I already married a c***.’

Meanwhile, it was reported that Madonna flew back to the UK in February for a face-to-face meeting with her son, but it’s not clear if such a meeting took place. It is said that the pair are in mobile phone contact.

Last weekend, a Sunday newspaper reported that Madonna is feeling ‘bereft’ after conceding Rocco is not coming back, and is trying now in court in New York to come to a custody arrangement that will ensure she not only has as much access as possible but that she will also have a say in his education and ensure he has bodyguards accompanying him when he’s out and about.

Madonna is due back in court in New York on March 24 to present her demands and Ritchie is due to attend court with his response on May 2.

On June 1, if no agreement on Madonna’s access to her son and other requests has been reached, they will both attend court where a judge will decide what happens next.

Yesterday, a newspaper reported the pair are also warring over their adopted son David, who lives with his mother in New York, and that Madonna has refused to allow David to fly to the UK to see Guy over Easter.

Madonna’s tour ends next week. One thing is certain, she will be desperate to see him. Although when that meeting materialises, is anyone’s guess. For now, as Madonna is painfully aware, Rocco is happy living with his dad and beautiful new stepmother.

• Additional reporting: Tom Leonard, Dominik Lemanski and Alun Palmer.