'I can't go through this pain again': Kendra Wilkinson fears estranged family are poised to 'lash out' in tell-all book

Kendra Wilkinson agonized over whether to rebuild bridges with her estranged brother Colin on Friday's first new episode of her reality show.

During two back-to-back episodes of Kendra On Top, she admitted she was scared that if she let her brother back into her life she would end up getting hurt again.

She also confessed the main reason for her hesitation was her brother's close relationship with her estranged mother Patti.

Choices: Kendra Wilkinson agonized over whether to rebuild bridges with her estranged brother Colin on Friday's new episodes of her reality show

'Growing up me and my brother were pretty close, but the fact my brother's so close to my Mom is just where the problem is with me,' she said.

'My Mom's the one who really did the dirty work, but my brother – every now and then – he'll come out and lash out at me in the media. The problem is what they've done in the past.

'I want to believe in a second chance, but my hope has been destroyed for a very long time now. I would love to think that he's changed and that he has some kind of sympathy for the things I've been through in the last couple of years, but I don't know.'

Kendra's close friend and music producer Lavance Ray told the former Playboy model he had been in touch with her brother when she visited his studio to work on a new rap song.

The informant: Kendra's close friend and music producer Lavance Ray told the former Playboy model he had been in touch with her brother when she visited his studio to work on a new rap song

The reality TV star had asked her pal to try and find out details on the tell-all book her mother has been threatening to write, but he spoke to her brother instead.

Lavance revealed: 'I did talk to your brother. He doesn't know anything about a book, but he does want to meet with you.'

Kendra sighed: 'All I want to know from Lavance is whether he has any information on my Mom's tell-all book. Not this.'

Always understanding: Sitting down at home with Kendra, her husband Hank Baskett said: 'I know you've always wanted family to exist. That's what you've always wanted in your life. Blood is blood'

Sitting down at home with Kendra, her husband Hank Baskett said: 'I know you've always wanted family to exist. That's what you've always wanted in your life. Blood is blood.'

But he added: 'I think about every time you've opened up and welcomed them back into your life. I don't like to live in the past, but the past repeated itself too many times.'

Kendra agreed: 'I can't go through this pain again.'

Kendra agreed: 'I can't go through this pain again'

Hank continued: 'I'm for it, if it's genuine. If your brother is sincere and not going to change on you a week later or a month later, I'm for it. But what's going to happen as soon as you become all cool again and your Mom says something?'

'That's always a possibility, which has happened every time before,' Kendra admitted. 'Honestly, I don't know what to do.'

Kendra On Top viewers watched the former Girls Next Door star stepping in front of a microphone with Lavance at Eagle Rock Studios to lay down a track based around TV show Lost In Space.

She's not lost: Kendra On Top viewers watched the former Girls Next Door star stepping in front of a microphone with Lavance at Eagle Rock Studios to lay down a track based around TV show Lost In Space

She laughed: 'Singing is definitely not my specialty, but rapping? I have some experience, of course, being on Celebrity Rap Superstar in my prime. So let's just say I'm getting back in the mix. It's time to take my rapping skills and put it to the test.'

Showing Kendra a clip from Lost In Space featuring an alien lady floating in the background, Lavance encouraged: 'We can do a song based off Lost In Space, but we can shoot a music video.

'We call the song Lost In Space, license this footage, then we shoot a video with you painted up like this alien lady and edit you into the footage.'

Multitalented: 'Singing is definitely not my specialty, but rapping? I have some experience, of course, being on Celebrity Rap Superstar in my prime. So let's just say I'm getting back in the mix,' said the former Playmate

'It could be cool if I do it right,' Kendra said.

Lavance told her: 'I don't know what this is going to do out in the world, but we're going to make it happen. We're going to post this on YouTube and watch it blow up.'

Kendra, however, admitted she was struggling to concentrate on her music with the tell-all book her mother has threatened to write playing on her mind.

Distracted: Kendra, however, admitted she was struggling to concentrate on her music with the tell-all book her mother has threatened to write playing on her mind

The blonde TV star asked Lavance – who remains close to Kendra's mother - to find out any information he could on the proposed book, but he refused.

'You're like a little sister to me. I can help you out with these things, but that's one thing I don't touch is family. I don't get involved in stuff like that,' he said.

Later, when asked if he had got any information for her, he said: 'You asked me to stick my neck out and get in the middle of a situation. That's all I'm saying. This whole thing is making me really uncomfortable.'

Trouble brewing: Kendra, who also got a lesson on vegan cooking from Playmate pal Jayde Nicole, said she fears her mother will attack her father if she goes ahead with her book

Kendra, who also got a lesson on vegan cooking from Playmate pal Jayde Nicole, said she fears her mother will attack her father if she goes ahead with her book.

The ex-model, who reunited with father Eric two years ago after a 19-year rift, said: 'I believe the first person my Mom would write about in her book would be my dad.

'She would try to tear my relationship up with my dad. It's all because she's jealous and feels like I abandoned her.'

Speaking to her publicist, Cindy, she said: 'I don't know why she would write a book about me. If she writes a book, every page is a lie.

A target? The ex-model, who reunited with father Eric two years ago after a 19-year rift, said 'I believe the first person my Mom would write about in her book would be my dad'

Danger: 'She would try to tear my relationship up with my dad. It's all because she's jealous and feels like I abandoned her'

'Even if she wrote every page a lie I would never sue. At this point, if you need that money, good luck in your life. It's on her soul.'

As well as struggling over her relationships with her mother and brother, Kendra admitted she was feeling anxious about a proposed Girls Next Door reunion, which would see her come face to face with rival Holly Madison.

'I'm having nightmares about this,' she said. 'How would this go down with Holly seeing as she's so inappreciative of those years at the mansion?

New options: As well as struggling over her relationships with her mother and brother, Kendra admitted she was feeling anxious about a proposed Girls Next Door reunion, which would see her come face to face with rival Holly Madison

'I have really big fears when it comes to this whole reunion thing. Plus, I really want to focus on moving forward with new opportunities and new things coming up. I just don't want to look bad any more.

'I would go to show my support of the Girls Next Door because it's why I'm still here and it's what made us.'

Asked how she would feel being around Holly, she said: 'Honestly, I would put that bitch on blast in front of a lot of people.'

Don't mince words: Asked how she would feel being around Holly, she said: 'Honestly, I would put that bitch on blast in front of a lot of people'