'I wanted the thigh gap and toned stomach': Athletic teen shares how she 'slipped' into anorexia and plummeted to just 44 kilograms after pushing herself to the limit with school sport

Annie Strachan, 18, from Auckland, has always been passionate about health, nutrition and fitness. 

But at just 14-years-old the sporty teenager started to exercise more and consume less - slowly falling into the grips of anorexia, without realising it.

'I had always been really interested in health, food and exercise... I played netball, waterpolo, swam and I ran a lot,' Ms Strachan told Daily Mail Australia.

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Then and now: Annie Strachan, 18, from Auckland, has always been passionate about health, nutrition and fitness, but struggled with anorexia from when she was just 14-years-old

Sharing her story: Ms Strachan said she was overdoing the exercise in an attempt to fit the 'thin stereotype', yet the six-foot-tall student kept losing more weight

'My diet started to take hold in year 10 and I didn't realise I was pushing myself too hard, playing too much sport and restricting my carb intake. 

'There were no specific triggers, it just slowly happened over the course of about six months or so.'

Ms Strachan said she was overdoing the exercise in an attempt to fit the 'thin stereotype', yet the six-foot-tall student kept losing more weight. 

'I wanted the stereotypical look of the thigh gap and toned stomach but I was doing so much sport I was already toned. I was also becoming tired and couldn't concentrate and was so focused on counting calories all the time,' she said. 

Debilitating: 'My blood pressure was scarily low, my heart rate had dropped, my iron was down and I had no energy and couldn't concentrate... I could barely engage in conversation,' Ms Strachan said

Long struggle: 'Nine months after my first admission things went south. I had to reach 60 kilograms to be able to exercise but I was doing it secretly,' Ms Strachan said

'I didn't want to socialise anymore either and while I was eating salads and nuts and meat I was so restrictive and I had to have control over everything I ate. 

'It was hard to explain because I wasn't looking in the mirror thinking I was fat but I was unsatisfied. It was really scary, and looking back it shows how manipulative eating disorders are.'

Ms Strachan's family became worried for her health and she was admitted to hospital after dropping from 68 kilograms to just 53 kilograms.

'My blood pressure was scarily low, my heart rate had dropped, my iron was down and I had no energy and couldn't concentrate... I could barely engage in conversation,' Ms Strachan said. 

Control: 'I had to know what was in everything and my parents would cook dinner and I'd feel ill when I couldn't watch them cook,' Ms Strachan said

'I was so sore as well all of the time because I was doing secret exercise and I was just so over it and was so sick of how my life was.'  

Ms Strachan was placed on a high calorie diet and enrolled in an eating disorder clinic as well as private care, but it didn't last.

'Nine months after my first admission things went south. I had to reach 60 kilograms to be able to exercise but I was doing it secretly again and subconsciously falling back into my old ways,' Ms Strachan said. 

'A big factor was control again. I had and still have such a passion for cooking but my thoughts were about control. I had to know what was in everything and my parents would cook dinner and I'd feel ill when I couldn't watch them cook.

Manipulative: 'It was so atrocious and by 16 I shut out my family and distanced myself from my friends. My parents had no idea how bad it had gotten because I would exercise in my room so they didn't know,' she said

'It was so atrocious and by 16 I shut out my family and distanced myself from my friends. My parents had no idea how bad it had gotten because I would exercise in my room so they didn't know.'

Over nine months Ms Strachan dropped to just 44 kilograms.

'I was so private. My family and my parents are such huge factors in my life and they are so caring and amazing but I was secretive so they didn't realise the extent of my illness.

'I wasn't eating all my food at school, I would go to the gym when I said I was seeing a friend and I lied about my weight... I was weighing myself in secret all the time.' 

Ms Strachan said the idea of cake would make her feel physically ill.

'I would pride myself on sport and my love of baking and health and all of those passions were replaced with calories, punishing myself with exercise and isolation,' Ms Strachan said. 

New take on life: 'I would pride myself on sport and my love of baking and health and all of those passions were replaced with calories, punishing myself with exercise and isolation,' Ms Strachan said

'I suddenly realised towards the end of that relapse period that I needed help. I sat down with my parents and said "I can't do this anymore, I need your help but I need you to let me do it my way".'

'They helped me through it and I slowly started to eat like I used to and have nice pastas, we set a 3,500 per day calorie goal but I was allowed to reach that goal however I wanted.'

Ms Strachan was also cooking with her parents as a form of recovery method and she started to slowly gain the weight back that she had lost.  

'I started engaging with people more, going out for meals and cooking again - but because I was passionate about it. I also started netball again and running.' 

Ms Strachan, who runs her health Instagram page Clean and Mean, recently decided to share a snapshot of her story to inspire others and put it all to rest. 

Passion for food: Ms Strachan, who runs her health Instagram page Clean and Mean , recently decided to share a snapshot of her story to inspire others and put it all to rest

Inspiring posts: Ms Strachan, for now, plans on learning more about food, cooking, catering and living a life of balance

'Eating disorders are by no means glamorous, and they are most certainly not something that most people choose to talk about. An eating disorder takes away your life, your goals, your ambitions and all the things that you once prided yourself on,' she wrote. 

'An obsession with weight and calories? A constant drive to punish myself through strenuous exercise? Isolating myself from social situations involving food and friends?

'Yes. I did all of that. I had an eating disorder. And I am finally choosing to voice it.'

Ms Strachan said recovery for her was 'the most challenging experience' she has ever encountered and that she no longer recognises the girl she was. 

Raw: 'An eating disorder takes away your life, your goals, your ambitions and all the things that you once prided yourself on,' she wrote

'I am happy. I am free. I am learning to love myself. And I am so damn proud of how far I have come. To those out there struggling, remember that someone is with you,' she wrote. 

'You are not alone, you can totally do this, and you can get through anything you set your mind to. Take care of your body, because it's the only one you got.'

Ms Strachan, who is now studying psychology and nutrition, said writing the post was difficult but that she wants to be open about everything and make it something that is okay to talk about. 

'The fact that people don't talk about it frustrates me. Recovering is not something to be ashamed of and my goal in life is to inspire others and encourage people to be open and help them to reach their goals,' she said. 

On a mission: Recovering is not something to be ashamed of and my goal in life is to inspire others and encourage people to be open and help them to reach their goals,' she said

'Health is not about dieting or weight loss but can be about weight gain and weight management, eating salad for lunch and pizza for dinner and feeling well and finding a balance in life. 

'People, especially my age, need to know the importance of balance and the importance of reaching out for help - be it through family or a medical professional. There is no right or wrong way to recover.'

Ms Strachan, for now, plans on learning more about food, cooking, catering and living a life of balance. 

'It has been a process for me. I am happy and free and I am no longer consumed by those thoughts. I am learning to love myself and I eat out without guilt,' she said.  

If you need help or support for an eating disorder or body image issue, please call Butterfly Foundation 1800 334 673 or e-mail support@thebutterflyfoundation.org.au.