'My mommy blog ruined my life': Mother reveals how her efforts to record every moment of child-bearing left her depressed and distanced from her own children

A former 'mommy blogger' has told of how her pastime became a grueling, life-sapping business that left her feeling depressed and disconnected from her children. 

In 2013 Josi Denise was a restless 24-year-old former marketing director who found that raising two kids in Miami wasn't enough to still her restless mind.

As a distraction, she started her blog 'The American Mama,' which she turned into a powerhouse that attracted thousands of readers and free gifts from major companies. But her commercial success was a personal disaster, she told the NY Post Sunday.

Blogger: Jodi Denise (pictured), 27, started her blog 'The American Mama' in 2013. But she found herself turning every moment with her kids into a sponsored 'event' that stopped her enjoying her time with them

Sold: Denise's son, Nicholas (left), now seven, and daughter Gabriella (right), now four, had every playtime and special moment co-opted to sell chicken-fingers, iced tea and holiday trips, among other things

At first it seemed like the perfect plan: The blog would let her exercise her creative urges, her kids would give her material, and countless companies would send her free products to review, or pay her to mention their products.

But she realized pretty quickly that it was going to be a lot tougher than other bloggers made it seem. 

'Anyone with Wi-Fi and some kids to take pictures of can start a blog,' Denise, now 27, told The Post. 'That's the lure that draws so many women in.

'It's only later that you start to realize there are a ton of things you hadn't thought of, from technical details to website design to joining all these networks and conferences where they teach you how to grow an audience, to, you know, how to actually make money doing this.'

How to make money, it turned out, was to find sponsors - companies willing to let bloggers try their products or services for free, and pay a (typically small) sum in exchange for coverage.

Theoretically that's as a simple as weaving a little story around the item for a blog entry, or even just featuring it in an Instagram post.

But the reality is that the companies make demands of their bloggers - or 'infliuencers' - that can seem frustrating and petty for someone who just wants to be creative.

'These posts take a lot of time, and the (brand) campaign leaders will critique everything you write and ask you to repost,' Denise said.

'For instance, when I got my first paid "shopportunity" with Tyson Foods for a game day, chicken-finger post, I wasn’t allowed to say "Super Bowl," because it’s copyrighted. I had to say "the Big Game."'

To an outsider, that might seem like small potatoes for what seems like a pretty easy job with amazing perks.

After all, Denise did get a free $1,800 swimming experience with dolphins for her now-four-year-old daughter Gabriella, and a sponsored vacation to Kennedy Space Station for her son Nicolas, who is now seven.

And that's not even counting the money, which started off at $125-150 per post, but eventually became a massive $700-1,500 for each new blog entry.

Writing wrongs: Denise, like Gabriella (pictured), enjoys writing. But the need to be relentlessly positive and not to broach issues that actually mattered, in case sponsors were scared off, left her frustrated

But Denise found that her job was taking over her life: Jodi Denise was gone. She was now The American Mama.

'So there we all are, family time, grilling on Father’s Day with peach iced tea, but you can’t enjoy the moment you’re having with your kids, because you’re taking endless photos and it’s all stage-directed,' she said. 

'You’re worried about getting the company logo in the frame, and your kids smiling, and you’re taking shot after shot. "OK, now you stand behind the grill!"

'I posted the pictures with a caption that said, "We had SUCH a great time grilling Sunday!" and it’s like, "No, actually we didn’t even do that on Father’s Day. We did it a month ago so the content would be ready."'

And there was pressure not to be too 'real' - not to post anything that wasn't relentlessly twee, upbeat or intellectually mediocre; not to touch issues like marriage troubles or the politics of parenting.

That didn't just come from the brands, either.

'The other bloggers in your community won’t share your content with their readers (if it’s not cheery),' she said. 'And if the (blogger) networks don’t share the content, then your own numbers suffer.' 

In December 2014, Denise walked out during a free insider look at a Cape Canaveral rocket launch: the braying mom-bloggers and scorn from other guests had gotten to her.

She sat by herself on a beach and watched the rocket enter the night sky from a distance. It was then, she said, that she realized this might not be the career for her.

But it wasn't until 2015, after the birth of her third child, Leonardo, that she knew she had to make a change.

Escape: In 2015, Denise gave birth to Leonardo (pictured), now one. Going through divorce and suffering postpartum depression, she decided to leave Miami and take the kids to Indiana, where she grew up

Gripped by postpartum depression and going through a divorce - neither of which were suitable topics for her blog - she fled Miami with her kids and returned to Indiana, where she grew up.

There she finally began to live as Denise again, not 'The American Mama,' enjoying the company of her kids and starting a relationship with her friend of 15 years.

'I felt like I was really me now, actually living a genuine life,' she said. 'If I had a romantic dinner, I didn’t need to take a selfie. If the kids and I were having a great time, I didn’t need to Instagram it.'

The honesty of her new life was so powerful that she not only stopped 'The American Mama' - she nuked it. The site no longer exists.

And on May 13 she posted an essay on her new site: 'Dear Mommy Blogger,' a darkly funny and impassioned screed with chapters titled 'Nobody is reading your s***' and 'There is no way in Hell you are actually that happy.'

Over the course of 4,100 words it completely dismantles the myth of the mommy blogger, concluding: 'Quit because your mommy blog f****** sucks. And it’s not going to get better. 

'There are probably a dozen things you are actually good at. Find what you love, and what you do better than anyone else, and do that.' 

Denise says she didn't mean to offend anyone - she just wants moms to stop pressuring themselves over their blogs and enjoy the time they have with their children.

'These days, If I’m at a park with my kids now, I’m there, at that park,' she said. 'I feel a real sense of community - not the false kind I tried to create online.'

Real life: Now, Denise says, she is able to live a genuine life, enjoying the time with her kids without having to share those special moments with readers or advertisers