Scenic Photo Opportunity

All over the highways in England there is this sign:

And, being a girl who grew up in LA I thought for over a year that this sign meant that there was a scenic photo opportunity ahead. It made sense, there are signs like that in historic/beautiful places in LA and they are all over Disneyland. What I didn’t understand is why the signs always seemed to be on the side of a highway. Who would stop to take a photo there? It didn’t look scenic and it didn’t even look safe most of the time.

Finally, one day I asked Rob what those signs were for, assuming it was the scenic photo thing, but no. They are warning you of an upcoming speed camera. Aha! What???? We don’t have speed cameras in LA, we have cops with radar guns. I don’t actually even understand how a speed camera is effective. Isn’t the person just going to speed up once they pass it? It doesn’t seem like good public policy if you ask me.

At least I know now that there aren’t crazy Brits trying to take scenic photos on the side of a highway.

But, I think I need to take a picture with one of these signs before I leave. To document just one small facet of the differences.

And then she became completely unhinged.

I still don’t know how I did on my masters. And I don’t care. Hurrah if I failed it!

But. I have to tell the law schools about it.

Fuck.

Now I care.

The thing is, I feel ill thinking about that experience. I hated my time at King’s. The thought of going back there makes me feel small and incapable. Really, the thought of having to go back to King’s to resit an exam makes me feel like… I would rather take a driver’s test or go to the dentist. (I failed my behind the wheel twice folks, the DMV is not a happy place for me).

And then there is this. I can’t really tell how much a “failed” master’s degree is going to affect my application. If I do well enough on the LSATs it shouldn’t affect it at all. I will need to add an addendum to explain it though. And what do I say? After the first semester of my program I decided, fuck. this. shit. Because perhaps the admissions peeps respect that? Probably not.

So I go back and forth in my mind about being calm about not knowing and being totally freaked can’t think about anything else what the hell am i going to do if i am not accepted to law school because of this fucking masters degree i am going to kill someone.

So that’s where I stand. Right now I am more the latter than the former.

The List

I have yet to put up here the complete list of where I am applying to law school and I am not going to. I am guarding this for many reasons. Sure, I tell people here, in UK, but that is because most people here don’t really know the difference between an excellent law school and a mediocre one. But, when I speak to people who know and are in the know about law schools I am more tight lipped. I don’t want to be told that I am aiming too high or that I am aiming too low. I don’t want to hear about the negatives of a particular program, I don’t want to hear about a certain schools political leanings. I don’t want to be told the mistakes I am making about this geographic area versus that geographic area. I don’t want to hear about how your friend didn’t get into one of the schools I am applying to. I really don’t. (Note: I am being smart about this though. I have two reach schools, two target schools, and two safety schools)

This isn’t to say that I am not actively seeking out this information. Because I am. You bet your ass I am. From informed sources. I am looking at programs and externships and data on alumni. I could tell you the median LSAT for all of the schools I am looking at. I am visiting campuses and speaking to recent graduates. And yes, I have called most of the schools I am applying to.

It isn’t that I don’t want to hear what you’ve got to say. Actually, yes, yes it is. I met a woman who worked for British Airlines once. She said, “I work for British Airlines. And no, I do not want to hear about how you feel about British Airlines.” Maybe I should start with just that, “I am applying to law school. I don’t want you to tell me anything about it.” Because it makes me nervous. Very nervous. It takes only one person telling me that their friend didn’t get into school A with score B for me to fly off the handle. This is something I want so bad that when I think about it too hard I can’t deal with it.

I am doing everything in my power to see that I get into a good law school. And that is what I have to remind myself. I am doing everything in my power. I cannot control what happens outside of that, so I may as well stop worrying about it.

Actually, I am doing everything in my power to see that I get into a law school that is the right fit for me. Because that is what I chose for undergrad. Not the best school, but the school that was the fit for me.

There is a school on my list that seems to fit the bill. It is Christian and conservative. I am not conservative, but I did go to a Christian university and I loved it. I didn’t like the strict Christian rules but I did like the atmosphere it created. Drunkenness on campus was far less common than at other schools. This isn’t to say that it didn’t happen. This isn’t to say that I didn’t partake in rule breaking from time to time. But I liked that it wasn’t the norm and wasn’t considered acceptable behavior. I liked that I never had to worry about being kicked out of my room because my roommate had a man over. I liked the emphasis that was put on ethics and service. I liked that Sunday mornings were quiet. I liked that my professors felt they were fulfilling God’s purpose for them by being professors, I feel that you get very dedicated professors this way. So it wasn’t that it was Christian and that it was conservative that I liked, it was the by-products of these two things that created an atmosphere and college that I loved.

So why shy away from a law school that fits this bill? It has an excellent reputation on top of the two Cs. It is in a fabulous location. And I am not expected to be Christian or conservative to attend, but my Christian credentials might just help.

And then there is this thing. This thing that I find hard to verbalize. Mainly because it makes me sound like a bitch or like I am crazy. I like being in the minority. I liked that I was a liberal in a sea of conservatives at university. I liked that I was different and unexpected. I liked that I had to defend what I believed in. I believe living in adversity creates the necessity to have well thought out beliefs, beliefs that you can provide support for, beyond just, “because that is what I believe.”

So this is it, I think this school may just be for me. And yes, I know there are those of you out there who have guessed the school. And no, I don’t want to hear about how lame you think it is.

Dig Deep

I am working on this personal statement and am really having to dig up a lot of my memories from the past 7 years to explain why I want to go to law school and how I came to this decision. It isn’t flowing the way I want it to, it isn’t coming out of me naturally the way my writing usually does. I have had three false starts.

The issue is, I don’t really know where to begin. Do I start with where I decided to go to college? Or even farther back than that? Or do I start with the present day and then let the history unravel naturally as I explain where I am now?  I think I might try all three and then decide which works best.

It is cold and gloomy in Plymouth and I have a cold. This may be affecting my mood.