Recently a friend sent me this in an email. He was telling me about an experience he had when he used to live in Las Vegas. Seemed an interesting story.
“One night at a party, people took turns explaining how they happened to wind up there. My favorite story: ‘This is where my car broke down.’
“This woman was on her way from somewhere in Ohio to somewhere in California. Her car broke down in Las Vegas, and she had no money to pay for repairs. She got a job in a casino. That was 26 years ago; she’s still there.
“You see this often. People let life happen when they are in their 20s or 30s. The car breaks down. A friend has an inside track to a job at a fine restaurant. Grandma dies. The bank is hiring. We have nothing much going on, so we get a job in a casino, at the restaurant, or in the bank. We move into Grandma’s house…
This is a story almost too common to tell, it seems. Especially after we reach our 30s or so, these sorts of changes seem to become permanent.
I hear from people every day who “hate” their jobs, “Can’t stand” living where they live any longer, are “sick” of staring another winter in the face again … the list goes on. And for those of them who I know well enough to have heard their life story, it’s all to often like the Vegas car breakdown lady ..
… The purest coincidence got us to where we live. The merest fluke put us in the present job. Now other parts of the world may beckon, other jobs may offer more. No matter. However capriciously we got to where we are, even if simply because our car broke down, we insist on staying there. Further change has become out of the question, no matter how miserable we are.
“This behavior has always mystified me. I’m a fan of capitalism and freedom. Capitalism assumes that if you’re unhappy with what you’re doing, you’ll change.
“But that’s not how the world works. If people are unhappy with their jobs, they agitate, join a union, go on strike, lobby for political change, maybe blow up the workplace. But most never even consider changing jobs.
“Similarly, when the landlord raises the rent, people vote for rent control, or sue, or withhold payment, or seek help from city hall.
“But most people never consider moving.
What about you? When you tell me how you “can’t” move, are you really where you are because of some actual plan, or are you where your car broke down, years back?
As Harry Brown put it in his book ‘How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World’ (published in 1973), you’re taking a direct approach to addressing your life’s circumstances.
“In his book, Harry makes the point that you should forget trying to change others. That’s the indirect approach. Harry espouses, instead, the direct approach, taking charge of your own life and letting others worry about theirs.
“Suppose you live in Los Angeles. You’re fed up with the noise, the pollution, the congestion, the high taxes, the invasive government, and so on. To deal with these problems, you can try to change others who live in Los Angeles. You can lobby for pollution-control laws, work to invent noise-reduction devices, organize taxpayer revolts, and so on. That’s the indirect approach.
“Or you can move. Moving is an example of taking the direct approach.
“Let others stay put, in jobs and houses and situations that no longer suit them, waiting perhaps for the government to try to make their lives better. The government will inevitably fail; so be it.
“You want to take the direct approach. You want to take steps to improve your own life. You want to act to make sure you live how and where you want to live…”
I think Mr. Brown definitely had the right idea. I actually get a bit depressed when I hear so many “can’t” messages, sometimes, literally, day after day. There may indeed be good reasons for not making a move at this time, but, aside from those incarcerated for a crime, “Can’t” really isn’t in the picture.
If you have decided that at this time, doing plan A rather than plan B is what you need to do with your life, that’s great … that’s why God gave you brains and the gift of knowledge.
But do me a big favor and make sure you aren’t just sitting, status quo, complaining about all the things you “Can’t” stand” simply because your car broke down.
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Great story, Dave. My car “broke down” over 30 years ago. Planned to go to college to become a commercial artist. Had a scholarship from a good college in Illinois. But even though I was a National Honor Society student, college wasn’t for me. Went to work for my Dad at his service station, and then went onto various other jobs. Got a break at the age of 25 and spent almost 30 years with AT&T. Received a good lump sum payment that I invested, and decided to “fix” that car and move to the Philippines with my beautiful Filipina wife. One of the smartest moves I ever made.
Dave,
I think the problem in the Western world is overcoming our “attachment”.
A few years ago I read the “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” and it changed my outlook on life.
http://www.suite101.com/content/buddhism-and-the-message-of-impermanence-a101448
@Laurence (ID 3744): Thanks, Laurence, I believe I’ll take a look at that reference. Be well.
Hi Dave,
Looks like i’m in a minority.
When i was in the Job club,i worked for many companies,when i got fed up,for whatever reason,i voted with my feet,(securing a new job first).One day when i got really fed up,i walked and started my own business.
Never needed a Union to fight my battles for me.
Regarding property,i just love it when so called Townies move to live in a rural area,then constantly moan about the smell of farmyard manure,noisy livestock etc etc,what did they expect!
“If you don’t like where you live or work,move,your not a tree”.
regards,Chas.
@chasdv (ID 3752): You got it, Chas. You know for every valid reason hear about from someone who supposedly wants to move, but can’t, there are at least 99 “phony” reasons. The ones I get the biggest kick out of are the folks who say, “Oh I can’t move becuase my children are still in school and they say they don’t want to.”
Hello? Who the heck runs those households anyway? Obviously, not the parents. One thing I notice over the past decade or so in the US? US military careers used to be much more popular … and the children of military marraiges who learned, like the parents, to move when they were told to, not when they ‘felt like it”., are (the ones I know well, anyway) much stronger, much more open minded, more attuned with the world and often much better educated. being ‘stuck’ in one place often involves nothing more than someone too cheap to pay for anew radiator or water pump
I hear you Dave,maybe we are a different breed.
Although my parents weren’t career military,we did move home 3 times before i reached 10yrs old.
I think that turned me into a “wherever i lay my hat,thats my home”,kind of guy.
regards,Chas.
@chasdv (ID 3764): Yep. I certainly don’t think one _has_ to move anywhere, but the ability to make a move, or a change in the way one earns a living, certainly seems important to me. I liked that car breakdown analogy becuase it is so often true … people in their 50′s and 60′s who won’t think of making a chnage, because they are where theu landed in their 20′s … with really no idea how they got there. It’s such a big world, there’s so much to see out there, and life, at best, is so damn short.
My wife and I love watching both Amazing Race shows on TV .. we get the Amazing Race Asia here as well as the regular US version. I hate the goofyness/nastiness of some of the teams, and some of the contrived obstacles, but I love getting a glimpse of so many countries, and the thought of never knowing where ‘we’ are going next.