'I didn't want to be a lesbian': Portia de Rossi on her beliefs that being gay was 'strange' in revealing interview

By Daily Mail Reporter

Published: 11:24 EST, 1 November 2013 | Updated: 17:37 EST, 1 November 2013


Portia de Rossi 'didn't want' to be a lesbian.

The 40-year-old actress was very nervous about publicly coming out, something she did in 2005, because she always thought that being gay was 'strange' and also because she didn't know any famous women who were openly lesbians.

'I just didn't want to be a lesbian,' she said in a revealing interview on The Conversation With Amanda De Cadenet.

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'I didn't want to be a lesbian': Portia de Rossi revealed in a new interview that she though being gay was 'strange'

'I didn't want to be a lesbian': Portia de Rossi revealed in a new interview that she though being gay was 'strange'

'I'd never met one for a start and I just thought they were strange and that they hated men and they were very serious and I had these ridiculous images in my head and there were no out celebrities or politicians or anybody that I could look to and go, "Oh, I could be like that".

'There was nobody that I could say, "I could date her and I want to be like her."

'I just kind of thought I don't want to live like this. I don't have to, I don't need to, I just shut down the emotional life.'

For full interview watch on Amanda de Cadenet's YouTube page

No role models: Portia said there were no 'out' celebrities at the time so it was hard for her to say, 'I could be like that'

No role models: Portia said there were no 'out' celebrities at the time so it was hard for her to say, 'I could be like that'

Hard times: Not coming out had a very negative effect on Portia's life

Hard times: Not coming out had a very negative effect on Portia's life

Not coming out had a very negative effect on Portia's life.

The actress battled different eating disorders while she was starring in Ally McBeal from 1998 to 2002, and she believes they were symptoms of her hiding her sexuality.

She explained: 'The thing that kept me company was my eating disorder. It was like a lover, it was like somebody who never ever left me. Like a thought that would always keep me excited, interested and focused. It's adrenaline.'

Symptom: The actress battled different eating disorders while she was starring in Ally McBeal from 1998 to 2002, and she believes they were a result of her hiding her sexuality

Symptom: The actress battled different eating disorders while she was starring in Ally McBeal from 1998 to 2002, and she believes they were a result of her hiding her sexuality

Portia has been happily married to 55-year-old chat show host Ellen DeGeneres since August 2008.

The Conversation With Amanda De Cadenet airs on Lifetime in the UK on Monday and in the US on Sundays from November 10. 

Happily ever after: Portia finally found love with talk show host Ellen Degeneres, tying the knot in 2008, pictured in LA in 2013

Happily ever after: Portia finally found love with talk show host Ellen Degeneres, tying the knot in 2008, pictured in LA in 2013