BLACK DOG: Sir Nicholas Soames is so sorry for his four-letter gaffe after telling a constituent: 'FOYC'
Sir Nicholas Soames has apologised for abusing a constituent in Mid Sussex who teased him on Twitter: 'Did you sit on your phone?' Heavyweight Soames tweeted back: 'FOYC.' Apparently, in internet-speak, that's very rude. Blame his grandpa, Winston Churchill. When schoolboy Soames asked him if he was the greatest living Englishman, he replied: 'Yes. Now b****r off!'
'Did you sit on your phone?' Sir Nicholas Soames responded on Twitter: 'FOYC'
The tweet in question: Apparently, in internet-speak, FOYC is very rude
As warring Cabinet Brexiteers Boris Johnson, Liam Fox and David Davis squabble over who can use Chevening, the grace-and-favour country pile in Kent traditionally reserved for the Foreign Secretary alone, a word of warning to the first two. Ex-SAS reservist and marksman Davis says the last time he went there, he demanded to test some of the muskets on display.
Former Lord Chancellor and Labour luvvie Charlie Falconer was made to look a proper Charlie at a legal gathering after claiming new Justice Secretary Liz Truss was unfit for the job. La Truss has told how, when she saw barrister Falconer in a corner sporting whiskers, she bowled up to him bold as brass and asked: 'Hello Charlie. Have you grown a beard so you can hide from me?'
Baroness Stowell is being tipped as the BBC's successor to Cameron crony Rona Fairhead
Cake girl Tina to rise again at the Beeb
Former Nottingham cake shop sales girl Baroness Stowell is being tipped as successor to Cameron crony Rona Fairhead as £110,000-a-year chair of the BBC Trust. Feisty Tina Stowell was axed as Lords Leader by Theresa May to make way for May ally and ex-Tesco shop worker Natalie Evans. Senior Tories say queen-of-the-cream-puffs Tina, who worked for ex-BBC director general Greg Dyke, is the ideal choice to make the Beeb rise again after losing Bake Off to Channel 4.
Former Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott, better known for his budgie-smuggler Speedos than for the grey matter between his big ears, was overheard at a conference cocktail party talking to ex Defence Minister Philip Dunne apparently discussing buying some surplus Royal Navy submarines for the Aussie navy. 'Philip tried to explain the difference between nuclear and diesel-powered subs,' said a witness. 'I think Abbott thought they ran on lead-free petrol.'
Blair pulls BoJo's strings
With threats of a UK political comeback by Tony Blair, Dog was shocked to learn that Blair wrote large parts of Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson's Tory conference speech. Fortunately, the Blair in question was distinguished ex-Fleet Street Middle East foreign correspondent David Blair, not the disgraced Middle East meddler and former Labour Prime Minister.
David Cameron foresaw his own downfall in a movie-style premonition when he was attacked over his ill-fated 'Project Fear' during the EU referendum campaign, according to the book by his spin doctor, Sir Craig Oliver. He writes: 'DC jokes he is like Sean Connery in The Untouchables riddled with bullets and crawling along the floor: 'They keep shooting me.' 'That's not a great analogy,' I laugh, 'he dies!' ' They're not laughing now.
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