'I want to see my grandson kicking a football not wearing a dress': Heartbroken grandmother of 'gender neutral' boy, five, speaks of her torment 

• Jill Recknell says she cannot accept her grandson's transformation

By Damien Gayle
Updated: 11:06 EDT, 1 March 2012

The grandmother of a five-year-old boy who is now living as a girl has admitted she would rather he were back to his old self than going around in pink dresses.

For more than a year Zach Avery from Purfleet, Essex, has worn his long fair hair done up in bunches and insisted on living his life as a member of the opposite sex.

But Jill Recknell, from Alderney in the Channel Islands, who is in her mid 50s, confessed she cannot accept that her grandson has suddenly become a granddaughter.

Mrs Recknell added she was upset by Zach's parents' decision to go public, telling the People: 'I'd rather see him kicking a football than parading in a pink dress.'

Girly: Zach with his toys in his bedroom at home in Purfleet, Essex

Her daughter, Theresa Avery, 32, earlier this week said she fully supports Zach after he became one of the youngest people ever diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder (GID).

The extraordinary conclusion that he is a girl trapped inside a boy’s body is being backed by medical experts and supported by his school, which has made a lavatory block ‘gender neutral’ to accommodate his needs.

But Mrs Recknell says, although she loves her grandchildren no matter what, Zach will always be a boy to her - the sex he was born with and is on his birth certificate.

Until shortly before his fourth birthday in December 2010, Zachy, as his mother calls him, was ‘a normal little boy’.

He loved to play with his Thomas the Tank Engine train set alongside his brother Alex.

Suddenly, however, he became obsessed with the children’s TV cartoon character Dora the Explorer, and started to dress in girls’ clothes.

Mrs Avery, who has two other children, said: ‘He just turned round to me one day and said, “Mummy, I’m a girl”.

'I assumed he was just going through a phase and left it at that. But then it got serious and he would become upset if anyone referred to him as a boy.

'He used to cry and try to cut off his willy out of frustration.’

Mrs Avery and husband Darren, 41, became increasingly worried by their son’s behaviour and took him to a doctor, then to a child psychologist.

At the Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust in London, which specialises in the disorder, he was diagnosed as having GID.

Mrs Avery said: ‘They told us that although he had a male body, his brain was telling him he was a girl.’

Normal kid: Zach aged four, before he 'came out' as a girl

Meanwhile at Zach’s school, Purfleet Primary, they have applied themselves to what Mrs Avery calls ‘the bathroom issue’ and are hoping Zach can use the staff toilets when he gets older.

Mrs Avery added that there have not been any problems with other pupils bullying Zach about his decision to change his gender.

‘We explained to the other kids that Zach’s body was that of a boy but in his brain he was a girl,' she said. 'We said Zach was just happier being a girl than a boy.

'They haven’t batted an eyelid. They’ve accepted Zach as Zach and there’s been no problems at the school with bullying. The school has been brilliant and really, really supportive.’

Figures from the Tavistock and Patman clinic – the national body for GID – revealed that 165 children have been diagnosed with the condition this year.

A spokesman said they were unable to comment on individual cases, but only seven children under five were diagnosed last year – making Zach one of the youngest.