'There's still a lot of pain': Bryan Cranston discusses the childhood trauma of his father's desertion and mother's alcoholism

By Sameer Suri For Dailymail.com

Published: 20:37 EST, 9 October 2016 | Updated: 11:42 EST, 10 October 2016

Though he mended his fences with his parents in later life, Bryan Cranston still feels the scars of his troubled upbringing.

The actor spoke to Sunday Times this week where he discussed how his actor father Joe Cranston deserted the family when Bryan was only 11 years old.

His mother Peggy Sell, as the 60-year-old explained, turned to drink after her husband ran out on her.

Heartbreaking: Bryan Cranston has opened up about how his actor father Joe Cranston deserted the family when Bryan was only 11 years old

Heartbreaking: Bryan Cranston has opened up about how his actor father Joe Cranston deserted the family when Bryan was only 11 years old

The Breaking Bad star said his father 'chose not to be with us or see us or be a father,' and his mother then 'chose to become an alcoholic and drown her sorrows and sadness and resentment. She was like a ghost of herself.'

To add insult to injury, 'no one ever explained why he left,' and the Malcolm In The Middle actor wound up living on a farm in Yucalpa with his grandparents. 

'There’s still,' he confided, 'a lot of pain I’m dealing with. It’s worse than if they died in a car crash, because they were still there physically, somewhere.'

He continued: 'My mom and dad up through 10 years old were really wonderful, that’s what was so awful about it. My mother was engaging and my dad was my coach; we did things together and he brought home a donkey for us to play with. Then it all disappeared.'

Difficult childhood: The Breaking Bad star said his father 'chose not to be with us or see us or be a father,' and his mother then 'chose to become an alcoholic and drown her sorrows and sadness and resentment. She was like a ghost of herself.'

Difficult childhood: The Breaking Bad star said his father 'chose not to be with us or see us or be a father,' and his mother then 'chose to become an alcoholic and drown her sorrows and sadness and resentment. She was like a ghost of herself.'

To add insult to injury, 'no one ever explained why he left,'

To add insult to injury, 'no one ever explained why he left,'

As People noted, Sell only managed to shake off the pain of losing her husband when Alzheimer's buried the memory of the whole experience.

Cranston noted of his mother's illness that 'I feel far more sorry for those people who had really good relationships with a parent and then, all of a sudden, in a matter of a few months, that person slips away. That's cruelty.'

As he described his situation,'it was more fortunate that the disconnect happened when I was 13 years old.'

Last year, USA Today ran an interview with the Trumbo star and reported that when he was 22, he went in search of his father and eventually found him, precipitating 'a tremendous amount of contrition on his part and then forgiveness.'  

Joe Cranston lived until 2014, the year after Cranston finished his iconic turn as Walter White on Breaking Bad.

People wrote that three days before the elder Cranston died at the age of 90, he'd left a note saying: 'The highlight of my life was when my children forgave me.'

Longtime partner: The actor is pictured with his wife Robin Dearden at an event in Los Angeles last week

Longtime partner: The actor is pictured with his wife Robin Dearden at an event in Los Angeles last week

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