BLACK DOG: Dave's dinner in the (black) dog

PM David Cameron could be in for a tounge-lashing from his wife Sam

David Cameron may get a tongue-lashing from wife Sam after setting out a novel way to boast about his economic record.

When Tory MPs told him at a private meeting it was important to campaign on other issues, he said: ‘No, when your wife asks what you want for supper, you must tell her – “I want steak please, darling, and don’t forget we can only afford it thanks to my wonderful long-term economic plan.”’

He quietly added: ‘I hope Sam doesn’t hear I said that.’ Too late.

With only four months to go until he returns to the Commons, Boris Johnson appears to be running a Tory leadership campaign already. Told by friends he has little Conservative support outside the capital, the London Mayor has invited a batch of Tory MPs from the regions to tea and crumpets at his London home in the run-up to polling day. So much for the man who said his chances of becoming PM are on a par with ‘being reincarnated as an olive’.

Robin, gentle star of the 'men in tights' 

Bewhiskered Commons Principal Doorkeeper Robin Fell is the unlikely star of political broadcaster Michael Cockerell’s forthcoming fly-on-the-wall BBC2 documentary about Parliament. Gentle giant Fell, 68, head of the Commons army of ‘men in tights’, is in his fifth decade of keeping an eye on rowdy MPs and visitors. ‘When you tell someone, “You can’t do that” it is fairly apparent it is an official saying it,’ he says. Translation: any trouble and you’re out on your ear.

Robin Fell is the gentle giant and unlikely star of a forthcoming fly-on-the-wall documentary about Parliament

Vince Cable is so keen to boast how clever he is that staff have been sent a diktat ordering them to mention his doctorate in economics in all his correspondence. A confidential civil service document, entitled ‘Vince Cable – preferences’, tells them to use his full moniker – The Right Honourable Dr Vince Cable MP. It also instructs them to ‘convey any bad news or negativity early in the letter’. So, following orders, here is the bad news Dr Cable: The memo has been leaked to Dog.

Ed's sinking feeling...

After being mocked for gurning as he was photographed struggling to eat a bacon sandwich, you’d think Ed Miliband would choose venues for his public appearances carefully. So you can understand why his media advisers had that sinking feeling when they were told the location chosen by Northern Ireland’s Chamber of Commerce for the Labour leader’s speech to them in Belfast this week: The city’s Titanic centre.

Meanwhile, the claim in a new book by ex Labour Mayor of Doncaster Martin Winter that flat-footed, adenoidal Ed Miliband was jealous of ‘sporty, better looking’ brother David, is echoed in a gushing Vogue magazine interview with David. ‘He appears such a young 49-year-old with his badger-streaked hair and football-player body,’ trills Vogue.

Labour leader Ed Miliband was mocked when he was photographed gurning while he ate a bacon sandwich