'I was screaming and throwing up': Patton Oswalt relives nightmare of finding his wife dead in bed from 'accidental overdose'

  • Comic actor's wife Michelle tragically passed away in April 
  • Admitted he is struggling to deal with the impact of the sudden loss
  • Said the toughest moment was breaking the news to their daughter Alice
  • Described in gut-wrenching detail the morning when he found her dead 

Patton Oswalt has revealed harrowing details of the day he found his wife Michelle McNamara dead in bed.

The stand-up comic and actor had gotten up early and taken their daughter Alice to school while McNamara, 46, a true crime writer, slept in after taking Xanax the night before.

After looking in on her as she slept, he headed to his home office on April 22 to catch up on some work before returning to the bedroom at 12:42 p.m. to find she wasn't breathing.

'I have a feeling it might have been an overdose,' Oswalt, 47, told the NY Times. 'That’s what the paramedics there were saying while I was screaming and throwing up.'

Heartbreak: Oswalt Patton, pictured October 20 at the LA premiere of Doctor Sterange, has revealed harrowing details of the day he found his wife Michelle McNamara dead in bed

The star of Ratatouille and Young Adult revealed that the night before, he had suggested to his wife, who was suffering from anxiety and nightmares related to a book she was working on, that she should 'sleep until you wake up.'

McNamara, who was engaged in trying to track down a serial rapist and murderer she'd dubbed The Golden State Killer, took some Xanax, he explained, and went to bed.

The next morning, after getting their seven-year-old daughter off to school with a packed lunch, he returned with a cup of Americano for his wife. When he found her still asleep and snoring at 9:40 a.m., he says he left the coffee on the bedside table.

When he later found her unresponsive, he called paramedics who told his she had passed away. The coroner has still not yet officially ruled on a cause of death, but Oswalt suspects his wife accidentally took an overdose of Xanax.

Devastating loss: McNamara, a true crime writer, passed away on April 22. She was 46. Oswalt believes she may have died from an accidental overdose of Xanax. They're are pictured in 2011

Hardest thing: The stand-up comic and actor told the NY Times that 'the worst day of his life' was when he had to tell his seven-year-old daughter Alice that her mommy was gone

He describes that Friday, which coincidentally was the same day that music icon Prince also died,  as the second worst day of his life.

 'The worst is when I told my daughter the next day,' he told the Times.

The Emmy winner, whose one-man show Talking For Clapping won the Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special award in September, still struggles to cope with the magnitude of his loss.

As someone who has suffered from depression, he points out that grief is an altogether different beast.

Depression is something that persuades you to shut yourself off from others; grief is always sitting around the corner hiding in plain sight.

'Grief is an attack on life,' Oswalt explained. 'It’s not a seducer. It’s an ambush or worse. It stands right out there and says: ‘The minute you try something, I’m waiting for you.’'

Bittersweet: In September, an emotional Oswalt, 47, was honored with an Emmy for his one-man show Talking For Clapping

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