Time to end this selfie-obsession: DR ELLIE CANNON reveals her seven-point guide on how to tackle the UK's child anxiety epidemic
Kim Kardashian and model Naomi Campbell take a selfie
What have children got to worry about? Quite a lot in the light of last week’s news that, in a 12-month period, the Childline helpline saw a 35 per cent spike in calls relating to anxiety.
It’s easy for adults to make comparisons with their own youth. But the world our children (and we parents) inhabit is very different now. As a GP – and mother-of-two – I see both sides. Anxiety is a far more common diagnosis than when I started a decade ago. It is now said to affect one in six of those under 16.
But recognition of the problem is actually positive, as it means we can find ways to nip mental-health problems in the bud. Here is my seven-point plan for ways to tackle this 21st Century epidemic…
1. LET THEM GET BORED
Baby gym, play dates, music classes, activity days and after-nursery classes… even from their first months, life is full, scheduled and more busy for children than ever. There are exams and homework even for five-year-olds.
It is great for children to be dynamic and busy, but downtime is very important too and protective in terms of good mental health.
Children need space to ‘zone out’, which is impossible if they’re constantly rushing from one thing to the next. Simplifying schedules gives children a chance to be bored, relax and have mind space to think and just ‘be’ with no pressure.
2. GET REAL ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA
Thanks to the pervasiveness of social media and the selfie culture, children are constantly viewing images daily, not only of celebrities but their friends’ ostensibly perfect lives, bodies and families. Individual ambitions can be replaced with what psychologists call extrinsic goals – someone else’s ideals – which are often unobtainable unless you are a supermodel or a Kardashian.
A recent Girl Guide survey reported that a third of those aged seven to ten, and 80 per cent of teens, felt their looks were the most important thing about them. We can’t ban them from Facebook or Snapchat – social suicide to any child now – but it is vital we openly discuss fakery and the one-sided story often presented, while fostering self-esteem through a child’s own ambitions.
3. STOP TRYING TO BE A PERFECT PARENT
It's not just children who feel pressure to be perfect. The desire to only report the positives on social media is to blame for the myth that a happy family involves endless successes, birthday cakes and nursery graduation photos (so-called ‘sharenting’).
Anxiety disorders affect six per cent of adults and this can rub off on children. Individual family goals can become diluted by the extrinsic goals of what are perceived to be the right things to be doing.
Families have their own identities and it is good for children to see their family with a strong identity, their own routines and integrity.
4. IT’S GOOD TO TALK
There is certainly far more recognition of mental illness these days, and this could possibly underpin the rise in diagnoses.
But that is no bad thing. There is a misconception that talking about a problem can make it worse, but that is not borne out by the scientific evidence. Parents and schools talking openly about worries and anxieties and offering a space and time for help can be protective factors.
5. GOOD GRADES AREN’T EVERYTHING
At school, success is measured in box-ticking and quantifiable grades. But this can be very binary, as if you either have it or you don’t. I often see problems with self-esteem in children not conforming to those criteria despite aptitudes in other non-measured areas such as sport, arts or personal skills. It is important that at home, a more holistic view is taken.
6. HEALTHY BODY, HEALTHY MIND
It is no surprise that as our children have become more sedentary, anxiety levels have shot up. Many secondary-school children may be doing just one PE lesson a week which, combined with a drive to school and too much screen time, amounts to very little exercising. Exercise is known to prevent anxiety as well as lessen it. Getting children active, even in the winter, is a great stress-buster and has great physical benefits too.
7. IT’S OK TO FAIL
Girls in particular need successful role models, but they need to realise that even successful people are not perfect. Mistakes are part of the make-up of reality. Perfectionism, particularly in girls’ schools, is rife and can create anxiety and self-doubt. High-achievers have always been vulnerable to psychological issues – it is typical of an anorexia sufferer. So children of this type must be taught about accepting failure: parents can start by admitting theirs.
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