An electric kettle, Jamie Oliver cookbooks and a brand-new stove: Etiquette expert reveals the accessories that are making YOUR kitchen look common

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With the Christmas and New Year juggernaut approaching, many of us will be spending much time chained to the stove as we prepare for the annual bout of festive entertaining.

With the influx of so many guests to our houses, perhaps we should take stock and asses what our kitchens say about us to ensure our social standing remains pristine going in to the new year.

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As party season approaches William Hanson reveals what items are a no no in the kitchen and which ones will impress your guests 

Flooring

DO Kitchen flooring can easily be split into three social strata. Upper class kitchens are usually paved with large, often chipped, flagstones.

Much like the house itself, these flagstones have a long history so they shine in places of higher footfall, such as in front of the stove or the Belfast sink.

A middle-class floor consists of smaller, more modern, tiles or wooden blocks – often that come with very expensive, specialist cleaning products to help you clean them. 

Obviously warm water and a splash of conventional liquid soap just won’t do. The salesman saw them coming.

DON'T A lower class kitchen floor is made from vinyl and comes from one of those places that advertise in middle of Corrie.

William says that a vinyl floor is a sign of a not-so-posh kitchen and you should opt for paved flagstones instead 

Modern features

DO Your kitchen should be so old it pre-dates useful and quirky features like gently closing hinges; all cupboards and drawers should crash shut.

When it comes to granite in the kitchen William says that too much suggests too much money 

If you do buy a more modern home – perhaps as your London base for during the week – and it comes with under unit lighting, or a proving drawer, do not show this off to your friends.

DON'T You must stress how much of a waste of time and money it is or else you may well be exiled to Soft Close Social Siberia.

Cookery books

DO Those of better stock will stick with tired, faded old foodie manuals – think Constance Spry, Elizabeth David and Mrs Beeton. Diana Henry’s books are fine, too, and enjoyed by both upper and middle class cooks today.

Mary Berry’s works are socially passable so long as they are the pre-Bake Off era ones and you are able to talk at length about her terribly helpful cooking instructions for Agas alongside each recipe.

Top social kudos if you have The Edinburgh Book of Plain Cookery to hand.

DON'T If your kitchen shelves are teaming with works by Messers Oliver, Ramsay and Martin then you’re in trouble.

Granite

Too much granite = too much money.

Agas

Agas are the zenith when it comes to upmarket kitchens. This is no secret, however, and is why so many aspiring middle class houses (or ‘homes’, as that sort would say) save up for one.

Any signs of modern amenities should be well out of sight in the classy kitchen says William

When it comes to ovens Agas are the zenith when it comes to upmarket kitchens

DO An inherited Aga (fingers crossed it’s cream) is obviously smarter than one that has been bought.

DON'T Today, electric Agas are available, but will only lend the house a certain amount of cachet. A gas or oil Aga is better.

Should one have been forced out of the main house for financial reasons and relocated into the gate house, the first thing to move is the original Aga, which gets installed into the newer, smaller kitchen – whatever the cost.

Kettles

DO No Aga is complete without the accompanying kettle, which sits on the unit’s boiling plate. Terribly smart houses are underscored by the sound of the shrill whistle once the kettle comes to the boil.

Visitors, don’t be alarmed if this whistle continues for an age. The owner has probably gone to the stables to check on the horses and can’t hear it.

Your coffee should be always served in a cafetiere, if you want to do it properly

DON'T Boiling water taps are de trop – and are never actually boiling. They may be clever but no grand house has a Wi-Fi kettle. Mainly as the thick stones walls mean the Wi-Fi generally doesn’t really work.

Chief mouser

DO Country kitchens must almost certainly have a mangy black cat on patrol, keeping mice at bay.

Coffee 

DO Coffee should be served in a cafetiere, if you want to do it properly. There is a zero tolerance approach on this, I am afraid.

DON'T Even if you are one of those twisted households that like drinking everything from mugs, there is never any excuse to own something called a mug tree.

Almost all middle class kitchens have the clichéd coffee capsule machine. Please don’t start asking someone of good stock whether they’d prefer a Roma or a Lungo.

Still rooms

DO If you have a still room off the kitchen, then you have reached peak ‘posh’. All the best ladies of the house make their own jams (never ‘preserves’) even if they have a team of cooks and however good Partridge’s jam selection may be.

DON'T The still room remains under sole jurisdiction of the lady of the house. Cooks – keep out!

Herbs

DO A window box full of herbs? A nice touch; fine in a bijou London flat in Fulham or Chelsea. A walled kitchen garden, where herbs and other produce are grown? The best.

Laundry

DO The laundry apparatus should be in the laundry room, which is ideally situated in a separate part of the house, so the smell of soap suds doesn’t conflict with anything being cooked.

DON'T Nothing shrieks small and suburban more than having washer-dryer tucked underneath a kitchen worktop.

Distance

DO The mark of all socially solid kitchens is for it to be far, far away from the main part of the house. This means your house is hugely historic – harking back to the days when architects put the kitchens away from the main part of the house in case a fire broke out.