‘Mummy, There’s Something Wrong With The Baby!’

The (Alleged) Incident

Silly Mummy has popped upstairs with some laundry that has come out of the dryer, leaving The Toddler and The Baby playing in the living room.

The Toddler is standing at the stairgate at the bottom of the stairs, yelling, ‘Mummy, there’s something wrong with The Baby! She needs help!’ Nothing can be heard from The Baby.

The Possibilities

1. The Baby is choking
Against: The Baby does not have any food.
For: Not everything The Baby chooses to ‘eat’ is food.
Likelihood: 30%

2. The Baby has fallen off something
Against: Completely silently, without so much as a bang on impact.
Likelihood: 5%

3. The Baby has got stuck
For: The Baby does like to get into everything. There is a chance she is in a drawer. Or upside down behind the sofa.
Against: And has lost her voice so that she can’t mention this herself?
Likelihood: 70%

4. The Baby is unconscious
For: She has been ill. Perhaps she’s had a sudden attack.
Against: She only has a bad cold. Can you have a sudden attack of a cold?
Likelihood: 10%

5. The Toddler has trapped The Baby’s fingers in something
For: The Toddler does do this often.
Against: The Baby usually mentions it herself. Quite vocally.
Likelihood: 15%

6. The Baby has had a nappy related incident
For: Always a possibility.
Against: The Baby is usually more concerned about nappy incidents than The Toddler. In this event, The Baby would probably be at the bottom of the stairs herself, hollering, ‘Mummy, poo!’
Likelihood: 50%

7. The Toddler has sat on The Baby, and The Baby is dazed and confused
For: This hasn’t happened yet (that is to say, The Toddler has sat on The Baby, but has yet to daze her), but it seems like something that could happen.
Likelihood: 80%

8. The Baby is fine
Likelihood: 98%

The Action

Silly Mummy runs downstairs.

The Discovery

The Baby is sitting on the sofa, holding a teddy bear. She looks bemused, but does not appear to be in need of assistance.

Potential Conclusions

1. The Toddler is a drama queen/fibber.

2. The Toddler thought Silly Mummy could use some exercise, and knows stair running is very good for bums and thighs.

3. If this is The Toddler’s reaction to The Baby having a sit down with a teddy bear, it is probably safe to assume that she is not going to keep it together come the zombie apocalypse.

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  1. lol it’s awful how hearing those words sends panic to every mother even though there’s those thoughts in the back of your mind that all is probably well. The Toddler may need more preparation for the zombies lol #WAYWOW x

  2. It occurred to me reading another one of your hilarious posts, that you could actually be writing about my hubby – this is exactly what he does! He even managed to send my daughter up to me in the bath the other day after she had trapped her fingers (quite badly) in the door, without managing to do anything vaguely useful for them himself!

  3. This brought back memories of the time I found the little man upside down in the toy box with only his feet sticking out. Happy days. Glad to see your toddler is so attentive! TY for linking up with #FamilyFun 🌸 another triumph of a post!

  4. Kiri says:

    I would tend to panic, as one time my eldest yelled at me to ‘see what the baby is up to’ and the baby was climbing up the stairs. Then somersaulted down. But about 98% of the time there is no issue at all! #brilliantblogposts

  5. Your post brought back all those things that went through my own mind when my son was an infant. Sometimes scary, sometimes funny but always learning on-the-job training as a new mom. Oh, boy, we learn a lot as we go along when raising children!

    I love the style of this type. I could type here forever!

  6. Sarah says:

    Hahaha. I love this post.
    I do exactly the same. Sometimes if I pop in the kitchen, and leave my toddler & baby in the living room…and then suddenly everythings quiet.

    WHATS GOING ON!?? I run in.

    They’re just looking at a book.


  7. Emma says:

    Haha, sounds like someone wanted mummy to get some exercise running up and down stairs. I think that would strike fear into the heart of any mum, no matter what the likelihood was!

  8. As I was reading this my 23 year old son comes in and needs more plain copy paper, so I sit back down and he comes in and lets me know he needs more blades for his exacto knife. So I go find those. Then I get snuggled back in and he comes back in and needs to use my overhead projector, so I go dig that out.

    Now I need to reread your post to remember what I read. LOL It never ends! At least he didn’t lead me to think his sister was in dire need of my help. But thought I’d let you know…it never ends!

  9. Amanda says:

    Oh this is just too funny! Our kids do so love to scare the hell out of us and make our hearts race, don’t they? Glad baby was fine!! Thanks for sharing… popping over from #sharethejoy

  10. The Little Man squashes The Big Girl by sitting on her. He seems to think it’s an act of love. She’s not so sure… I guess The Baby would sympathise! Now then, what’s the likelihood that I’m chuckling at yet another hilarious post from you Mummy? 100% 🙂 Thanks for linking up again at #sharethejoy my dear and have a fabulous week!

  11. Ah those are words which are guaranteed to strike fear into the heart of any parent – and as we all know, silence is rarely golden when you have small children. Very glad to hear that The Baby was fine and just a little bemused at The Toddler’s overreaction to her sitting on the sofa with a teddy bear. Thanks for linking up to #ftmob 🙂

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