Eric Bristow mustn't silence victims by blaming children for child abuse 

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The music is sparse and melancholy. Unaccompanied piano, haunting, solemn. The voices, serious, sincere, introverted. ‘I feel like I’m doomed. It does your brains in. Just does your brains in.’

This is Eric Bristow, in 2013, talking in a documentary about dartitis. ‘He couldn’t release the dart through the fear of missing,’ intones Wayne Mardle, former professional darts player and now a broadcaster. ‘That must be awful.’ 

At this point it really does need a victim of child abuse to sidle up, throw a consoling arm around Bristow’s shoulders, and say, ‘Come on, mate, it’s only a game of chuffing darts. Just chuck one, you big Jessie.’

Former darts star Eric Bristow is pictured here speaking about dartitis in a 2013 documentary

Former world No 1 Bristow found it hard to throw a dart during the latter stages of his career

 Bristow, who retired in 2000, tweeted this bizarre series of tweets on Monday night

But life’s not like that. And it would be wrong if it was. Dartitis is a debilitating psychological condition, no different from the yips in golf, and Bristow’s experience of it in 1986 was very real and frightening.

It ruined his career. He was the best darts player in the world, but fell away after that — and while he regained the No 1 spot briefly in 1990, he was never the same. And when it happened, he received nothing but sympathy. ‘I might not be able to do exhibitions,’ said Bristow, recalling his darkest fears during the onset of dartitis.

And no one mocked. Everyone accepted that to lose the ability to release the dart at a crucial moment, to be so tense, so overcome with mental uncertainty that a process once entirely straightforward became a form of torture, must be terrible.

So Bristow, more than anyone, should know that surviving psychological trauma — no matter its precise nature — isn’t simply a case of being a tough guy, not a wimp. And to state, as he did this week, that there was something lacking in the boys who were sexually assaulted was both crass and harmful.

Victims of abuse struggle to come forward as it is. They experience emotions of guilt, shame and fear. That is why so many wicked individuals go unpunished.

To some now considering whether to talk openly, to name names, to provide the most painful details of their young lives, Bristow’s reaction will be their second-worst nightmare. The first, we already know about. Yet after the horrid memories of abuse have been confronted, the fear will be that if they do speak out, the world will condemn, will see them differently, regard them as somehow complicit, as if they allowed it to happen. 

Matthew Monaghan, who spoke to this newspaper on Tuesday, was a promising Under 18 Wales international who threw away a career at Manchester United because he could not escape his past with sexual abuse.

If, at any time, he had revealed his anguish, he might have been successfully counselled, perhaps his career path saved. Instead he stayed silent, hiding anxiety attacks by claiming he suffered stomach pains. 

He felt he couldn’t talk to anybody about his ordeal, lost his way and dropped out of football. And that makes him a bottler?

Bristow’s words — he wanted to know why victims didn’t go back when they were older to ‘sort that poof out’ and called footballers ‘wimps’ compared to the ‘tough guys’ and ‘proper men’ of darts — have cost him his job with Sky Sports.

He did later admit he meant ‘paedo’ not ‘poof’ but as homophobia is only the half of it here, by then it was too late. Predictably, in some quarters, his employers’ reaction has been cited as censorship and that hoary cliche ‘political correctness gone mad’, as if Bristow’s offence was a mildly off-colour joke, rather than a public sentiment that amounts to blaming children for child abuse.

Yet it isn’t blindly PC to decide Bristow should spend some time alone with his thoughts, such as they are, right now. The Mike Ashley regime at Newcastle will not feature heavily in any book entitled ‘PR triumphs of the 21st Century’ but even they sensed the mood — of understanding, not censorship — by immediately cancelling a December 6 event at which Bristow was a guest.

Bristow, who appeared on ITV's I'm a Celebrity in 2012, has been sacked by Sky Sports

Matthew Monaghan became the latest former footballer to open up on child abuse

Newcastle are currently conducting their own investigation into allegations of historic abuse and might be accused of double standards if they then welcomed a man who believes the victims were soft for not forming a vigilante troop and working through their trauma with a crowbar, rather than a therapist or the police.

So Bristow the broadcaster is not the victim here. His words could genuinely prevent sufferers of abuse from feeling empowered to come forward. He could leave them emotionally ever more isolated, vulnerable and powerless at a time when it is vital we hear their voices and garner knowledge of their experiences.

The omerta, the macho bull that envelops football, is what got us here in the first place. When they were boys the victims were too frightened to speak, when they were men most were too damaged. Then a few brave souls stepped into the light. Those who feel emboldened by them cannot now be silenced by crude and cruel ridicule.

Maybe telling the victims of child abuse to look in the mirror does not disqualify Bristow from calling a darts tournament — but equally it does not make him the sort of man you might welcome into your home through the television screen. He isn’t informed; he isn’t helpful; he isn’t empathetic; he isn’t anything we need to hear right now.

‘Bet the rugby boys are OK,’ Bristow sniffed. Brian Moore, the former England hooker and abuse victim, may wish to dispute that, along with anyone who has suffered the true pain of abuse, or even dartitis.

A LONG AND FAMILIAR TAIL 

We are often told how far down the order England bat. Under pressure, however, the numbers, not to mention the shots, rarely seem to support that.

Moussa Sissoko thought he was a Champions League player, so he left Newcastle for Tottenham. Now, Tottenham aren’t in the Champions League — they play CSKA Moscow next week, but that’s more a contractual obligation — and Sissoko isn’t in the team.

‘Because we pay money do they deserve to be in?’ asked Mauricio Pochettino. ‘You sign a player, you expect something and sometimes you don’t find what you expected.’

Yet in many ways, Sissoko’s attitude is exactly as expected. He got his move to the Premier League in 2013 and, after a promising start with Newcastle, quickly disappeared, contributing little to dismal performances that got the club relegated.

Tottenham midfielder Moussa Sissoko has failed to live up to his £30million price-tag

He picked up a little towards the end of last season and at the European Championship with France in order to get another, much bigger, move. But now that cheque has cleared he seems to have reverted to type. Tottenham’s joint record signing has completed 90 minutes in the Premier League just once since joining.

‘Football is not about money,’ Pochettino insisted. Maybe not — but Sissoko is.

NOW HELP CHAPECO REBUILD 

In the south of Brazil, in the western area of the state of Santa Catarina, lies the city of Chapeco. It is by no means the state’s biggest, not even in the top 100 by population in Brazil.

So the comparisons being made between local football club Chapecoense and Leicester City are rather ambitious. Leicester may be the reference point for every football miracle from Wales in the European Championship to RB Leipzig in the Bundesliga, but compared to tiny Chapecoense they may as well be Barcelona.

Chapecoense did not exist until 1973 and were still outside the fourth national division as recently as 2008. In 2014 they reached Brazil’s Serie A. This season, they made it through to the final of the Copa Sud-Americana — South America’s equivalent of the Europa League — and were scheduled to play Atletico Nacional of Colombia.

En route to that match, a plane crash killed almost everyone of significance at the club, from players to management — 71 people lost their lives.

In the aftermath, Atletico have said the trophy should simply be awarded to Chapecoense. It is a fine gesture, and the right one. It would not feel decent to place Atletico’s name on a roll of honour in such circumstances.

To mark Chapecoense’s achievement in this way can never compensate for the loss, but it will be a fitting memorial to a season at a club that will find it hard to recover in any meaningful way.

A boy sits alone on the stands of the Arena Conda stadium during a fan tribute to the players

Atletico have a storied history that includes two Copa Libertadores wins and 20 domestic titles. By contrast, this would have been the biggest moment in Chapecoense’s brief history.

It is the responsibility of the Brazilian federation to look after them from here. To provide them with special dispensation, perhaps financial aid, to rebuild the squad and staff. To do their utmost to allow the club to remain competitive next season. Benfica have nobly made the offer of loan players already. Others must do the same.

That Manchester United rose from the tragedy of the Munich air disaster to become the strongest force in English football is misleading.

Exceptional circumstances and exceptional men prevailed, and the club was already widely significant in a way Chapecoense are not.

Yet Torino have never recovered from losing the entire squad in the Superga crash in 1949. The club had won six Italian titles before that, and just one since, in 1975-76.

The football people of Brazil must ensure that Chapecoense live through this. After the mourning, the rebuilding.

The roll of honour must one day be more than just a tragic symbol of a time long passed.

AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT

If Chelsea win the league this season, N’Golo Kante will join an exclusive club. Indeed, he will be its only member. There are five players who have won the English league title in consecutive seasons with different teams, but Kante will be alone in completing a full season with both. 

Ralph Gaudie was the first, joining Sheffield United as a centre forward in 1897-98 before moving to triumphant Aston Villa the following year. However, Gaudie was not a full season at Sheffield United and made a total of just 11 appearances combined for the two clubs.

Next was Joe Clennell, another forward, who left Blackburn Rovers in January of their title-winning season, 1913-14, and won the league at Everton the following year. Quitting Blackburn midway meant he only played four times for their championship side.

N'Golo Kante is hoping to win the title in consecutive seasons with two different clubs

Len Moorwood was a goalkeeper who turned out three times for West Brom in 1919-20 and once for Burnley in 1920-21, while Owen Hargreaves was another cameo: a single appearance for Manchester United in 2010-11 and the same again for Manchester City the next year.

This leaves Eric Cantona as the only player to truly pull it off in the modern era — but even he did not play the full season at Leeds in 1991-92 or in winning the first Premier League title with Manchester United a year later.

So Kante, who played 37 of 38 games in a complete season for Leicester, and all of Chelsea’s 13 games so far this time, could yet stand alone. It would be a quite remarkable achievement.

Footballer of the Year? Hard to argue, if it happens.

LEARN TO WALK AWAY JOSE... PUT YOUR CLUB FIRST

Before England’s players took the field, Terry Venables would give them a reminder about responsibility to the team. ‘If they spit in your face, you walk away,’ he said. 

His message was that the pleasure of a moment of retribution or the release of anger was not worth the red card that could follow. Retaliation was a selfish indulgence. You felt better; the team suffered. It was this lesson David Beckham failed to learn when sent off in 1998, against Diego Simeone of Argentina.

It is a lesson Jose Mourinho has failed to heed all season. When he goes after referees and is sent to the stand, when he kicks a water bottle in such a flagrant show of dissent, it is not about Manchester United, but about him. Letting his feelings out, displaying his rage.

Jose Mourinho was sent to the stands for the second time this season on Sunday evening

It never benefits his club, never has and never will. The clash with Jon Moss was a hangover from a similar set-to last season. Yet who delivers the pre-match lecture to Mourinho? Who is there to remind him that each time he disappears from the touchline there is a cost to his team?

Delays in changes, absence of tactical nuance, absence of authority — the comedic sight of messengers scurrying with scraps of paper, containing the short-term masterplan of a football business measured in hundreds of millions. 

Manchester United paid for the cold, calculating expertise of Mourinho, not remote management deployed second-hand through underlings.

If Rui Faria was the finest football mind at Manchester United, he would be in charge permanently. This cannot continue. Were Manchester United top of the league, Mourinho may have reason to be indulged. As it is, his behaviour is doing further harm in an increasingly underwhelming season.

After this, his second red card in four weeks, he has to put United and the players first. Mourinho may feel referees are spitting in his face with their decisions. The lesson is the same now as it was then. Do not get involved. Walk away.