'Why the f**k is she showing you her body?!’ Louise Thompson’s face went from orange to raging red when Stephanie Pratt targeted her boyfriend for a ‘work out’ on Made In Chelsea, by Jim Shelley
It was hard to tell whether Stephanie Pratt was more jealous that Ryan was Louise Thompson’s boyfriend or her Personal Trainer but either way on this week’s Made in Chelsea she acted in the only way she knew how.
She flashed him a glimpse of her stomach, as if this was something no man could resist, and announced that she fancied him - virtually the same seduction technique the Californian cougar had used recently on Julius Cowdrey, except without the oysters.
Yes, ‘Pratty’ was on the prowl again - hungry for love, or just someone to ‘hook up’ with who would raise her profile.
At war: Stephanie (R) told Louise's (L) boyfriend Ryan she wanted to work out with him - to his brunette girlfriend's dismay
Ryan was a new addition to the series and so boring that he didn’t have a surname. He wore his baseball cap backwards despite being over 12 years old and was so pumped up he looked like a posh version of the Michelin Man. Rather than his bulging biceps, you couldn’t take your eyes off his tiny head. You feared it could be dragged down into the morass of muscle underneath any minute.
Half of the cast had flown over to Austria to see Fredrik and his Incredible Performing Hair play the violin in Vienna, which our ambassadors re-christened ‘the ciddy of music’.
‘Your fingering’s really improved since school,’ Francis told Fredrik with authority, although how well qualified he was to judge he didn’t say.
The big news of the night was Fredrik and Olivia agreeing to ‘put a label’ on their relationship.
‘How about boyfriend and girlfriend?’ Fred suggested, which was what we thought they were already.
Official: The big news of the night was Fredrik and Olivia agreeing to ‘put a label’ on their relationship
Meanwhile the only thing less interesting than the feud between Jess and Toff was their making friends again.
‘Can we just clear the air?’ Toff said, the only line of dialogue she ever has in every episode.
Julius complained again that Sam had called him ‘a rat, a dick, and a tool’ – insults best not repeated given that they seemed like Fair Comment.
‘You said he had no brain cells!’ Lucy Watson’s sister retaliated. ‘Sam doesn’t lack intelligence. He’s one of the smartest people I know !’
It was a fierce defence but wasn’t saying much when she was on Made In Chelsea.
Drama: Julius complained again that Sam had called him ‘a rat, a dick, and a tool’
Defense: His girlfriend was quick to defend him, retaliating: ‘You said he had no brain cells!’ Sam doesn’t lack intelligence. He’s one of the smartest people I know!’
Back in London, Ollie Locke found Ryan working out using Louise as a big barbell – or rather a small orange one.
‘We-hee harr consider-airng moo-hoo-ving in together-air,’ Louise told Ollie trying to sound as posh as the other gals.
‘I’ll believe it when I see it,’ Stephanie purred when Ollie happened to bump into her.
Stephanie was amazed when she then walked into a completely empty gym in Notting Hill and happened to find Ryan there - exercising for MIC’s cameras.
Friends again: Toff (L) asked Jess (R) if they could 'clear the air' after their feud
Not beating about the bush Stephanie told Ryan she wanted to work out with him, and not necessarily just in the gym.
‘I’m just so out of shape !’ she sighed, as if she didn’t spend six hours a day desperately staying ‘fit’ enough for all her Reality TV series.
‘As many crunches as I do I cannot get those lines on my abs,’ Stephanie continued illustrating her point by ‘innocently’ lifting up her top.
‘You’ve got pretty good abs,’ Ryan gulped, sweating more than when he had been working out.
Making her move: Stephanie approached Louise's boyfriend and personal trainer Ryan in the gym - lifting her top to gesture to her abs
‘Yeah but I’m sucking in right now,’ Stephanie replied, seizing on the opportunity to say the word ‘sucking.’
A propos of nothing, she asked if he and Louise were living together, explaining: ‘To be fair Louise does say she’s going to move in with all her boyfriends.’
You’d hate to see her when she wasn’t being that fair.
‘You’re a good catch,’ she said, tapping her nose, licking her lips, and winking in case he hadn’t got the hint.
Awkward: Ryan looked uncomfortable as Steph told him he was a 'good catch' along with a cheeky wink
‘Tell Louise you saw me and you’re going to be my new trainer. If she doesn’t really like it well I don’t really care !’
Finding walking and talking at the same time, the next day Ryan and Louise stopped to discuss it.
‘I bumped into Stephanie in the gym yesterday,’ Ryan bumbled. ‘She pretty much went straight in with a tummy flash and asked: how do my abs compare with Louise’s?’
Not good: The news did not go down well with girlfriend Louise, who asked 'Why the f**k is she showing you her body?!'
‘Shut the f**k up !’ exclaimed Louise, so shocked she suddenly started speaking normally. ‘Why the f**k is she showing you her body?!’
Didn’t she actually know Stephanie? Hadn’t she ever seen MIC?
‘Yeah she was like: check me out !’ Ryan blundered on.
‘Has she lor-haw-haw-st her f**king mind?!’ Louise cried, reverting to type. ‘Has she lost the plot?’
On the contrary, she was simply following the script.
Fuming: She continued with her rant: 'Has he lost the plot?!'
Ryan and Louise were well suited judging by the way he too admitted: ‘I can’t get my head around what she was trying to imply. She was saying things about your ex-boyfriends and said I was quite a catch.’
‘I bet you were luffing it !’ Louise accused the poor sap.
At this week’s obligatory party the way that Stephanie strolled up to Ryan and panted ‘I’m dying to work out with you!’ was brazen.
Two feet to the left of her and three feet lower down, Louise’s face had changed from the usual bright orange to raging red.
Confrontation: Louise later told the blonde she was not keen 'for her boyfriend to train with someone who's talking about my history or my exes'
‘I’m just nort tha-a-hat kee-heen for my boyfriend to train with some-worn who’s talk-hing about my historair or my exes.’
‘Is it specifically me or is it like anyone?’ Stephanie asked casually, as if she didn’t know full well it was the former.
Stephanie hasn’t been in the game this long without learning a trick or ten – such as how to backtrack to her advantage.
She valiantly offered to cancel training with Ryan even though they had never started, insisting plaintively: ‘Honestly I can watch a YouTube video instead !’
Man of the hour: The feud caused tension between Ryan (above) and Louise
Or she could get another trainer, you thought crazily. She did live in London after all.
Before Louise could say ‘yes OK thank you’, Stephanie quickly mentioned one last alternative to hiring Ryan for private ‘work outs.’
She could come along to their sessions and train with them – a suggestion she swiftly hailed as a brilliant solution.
‘OK we can share,’ capitulated Louise recognizing that with Stephanie, resistance was futile.
Let’s hope Ryan doesn’t end doing the same.
Smug: Stephanie then asked in a dig if she could hire Ryan for a 'private work out' to which Louise snapped back 'We can share'
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