Are you REALLY in love? Expert shares the ten definitive signs that show you are (and the ones that prove it's just lust) 

  • Relationship expert Gary Amers tells FEMAIL the ten signs that you're in love
  • Includes lighting up every time you think of them and feeling sick
  • He also points out the key differences between being in love and in lust 

You may think you're head-over-heels in love with someone but do you really know the difference between being in love and lusting after somebody?

From lighting up every time you think of them to feeling sick in your stomach and finding yourself doing whatever makes them happy, there are tell-tale signs that indicate you have found the real thing. 

Gary Amers, a relationship expert at amerscoaching.com, tells FEMAIL the ten signs to look out for that tell you that you really are in love - and the five signs that prove it's really just lust.

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From lighting up every time you think of them to feeling sick in your stomach and finding yourself doing whatever makes them happy, there are tell-tale signs that indicate you have found the real thing, according to expert Gary Amers 

He says that fantasising about your futures together and feeling safe with them are solid indicators that you're in love but that not making plans and feeling uneasy about introducing them to your friends prove you're merely in lust.

The subtle difference between the two means that you are still thinking with your head when you lust after somebody - and with only your heart when you're in love.

1. You become like an eager child who is about to open their favourite Christmas present: Your heart and subconscious knows what you are wanting and recognises this is the one - long before your conscious mind can understand it 

2. You light up every time you think of them: Their presence creates an instant ‘burst’ of adrenaline. 

3. You feel sick in your stomach: Falling in love can make you feel out of control so your stomach can be unsettled. 

4. You feel like you have known this person a very long time: You have been creating this love for a long time and when you meet them in person your subconscious spots them immediately.

You have been creating this love for a long time so when you meet them in person- your subconscious spots them immediately (stock image)

5. Nothing can distract you from them: You will cancel all bookings for this person. 

6. This person aligns with what's important to you in life: Either they have similar values, or you both appreciate your opposing values.

7. You feel safe - if you are in love: When you are in love, this is your place to be your true self, which brings a sense of security. 

8. You find yourself doing whatever makes them happy: When you fall in love, you will always do things for your partner, even if you don’t particularly want to.

When you fall in love, you will always do things for your partner, even if you don’t particularly want to (stock image)

9. When you are in love, you just want to give: This is programmed so you will find yourself just wanting to give when it's true love. 

10. You will fantasise about your future: Being in love always makes you envision your future more than any other activity. You will go through wedding days and imagining losing them.

The five signs it's just lust

You fancy a bite, but you know nothing about them: Love is an understanding; lust is an adventure. 

There can be little reciprocity: Either you give a lot, and they don’t return, or vice-versa; this is one-sided lust. 

You feel uneasy about introducing them to friends: We can feel embarrassed or uneasy about the people we lust after. 

Your heart isn't in it - but your head is: Your heart knows what you need, what you desire and what you deserve, but your head can think otherwise. 

You don't make plans: Lust is a feeling of spontaneity and adventure - so there is little planning. Love likes to plan and prepare. 

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