Is there anything he WON'T do for money? From Israeli chocolate spread to Australian pretzels, the awful ads that John Cleese has had to pay for all that alimony

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Frankly, there’d be more dignity in John Cleese offering to do silly walks for random passers-by in exchange for a cup of tea. For the once-great comedian, the very incarnation of madcap British humour and loved the world over for his bonkers Basil Fawlty character, has finally been reduced to doing adverts for mis-sold PPI compensation.

In one of them, Cleese sits there with a ladies’ stocking over his head. It is painfully, desperately unfunny. What’s next? Time-share apartments in Lanzarote? Del Boy’s Trotters Independent Trading Co?

The only grimly amusing thing about the PPI adverts is that, back in 1996, Cleese did some ads for Norwich Union Direct, now part of the insurance giant Aviva, which is one of the firms guilty of mis-selling PPI. It seems Cleese has worked for both poacher and gamekeeper — and earned a fat fee from both. Ker-ching!

Sony, 1982. So easy tiddles could do it! It’s certainly not the best TV moment he’s ever produced — but John Cleese can’t wait to tell viewers about these ‘technically amazing’ new Sony products

Talking Pages, 1982. Paid by the Bell: Here, he dons another silly hat, but this time for Talking Pages - though one suspects the number he's looking for is the one on his pay cheque...

Schweppes, 1990. Earning dosh for that divorce: The year of his second divorce — from actress Barbara Trentham — he joked about his cash problems in this drinks ad, saying he feared the ‘piles of cash’ he earned doing it might be counted in the divorce. ‘I’ll be on screen soon when the stink dies down,’ he adds

Smoking Quitline, 1993. Go Where The Money Takes You: In the Eighties, he was advertising cigarettes, but by 1993, he was accepting cash to appear in an anti-smoking campaign. Cleese later said he was ‘ashamed’ for advertising tobacco, adding: ‘I would never agree to do such a thing now.’

Amex, 1990. In The Red: What a tart. Dressed as a woman in scarlet high heels, a large fluffy hat and clutching a handbag and dogs, Cleese advertises for American Express

The joke continues. The company that hired Cleese for its PPI advert has issued a gushing handout about its work with the comedian. (Or ex-comedian, perhaps we should say. For to adapt Monty Python’s famous parrot sketch: He has passed on. This comedian is no more. He has ceased to be.)

‘When we first began speaking to John Cleese about the PPI scandal, he immediately grasped the shocking scale of the injustice,’ says the firm. ‘We were thrilled when he agreed to work with us.’

In their heyday, those clever Oxbridge anarchists of Monty Python would have made chaotic fun of such tosh. Weren’t they fond of making a mockery of bankers and chartered accountants?

The idea that Cleese does ads because he cares so very passionately about the result is truly hilarious. It must be positively exhausting to have so many passions.

Over the years, he has sung the virtues of Schweppes drinks, Planters Pretzels and Accurist watches. He plundered a scene from Monty Python’s Life Of Brian to plug the delights of the BBC TV licence. He has enthused about Maxwell House coffee and BT and American Express — oops! Another one that may have mis-sold PPI.

Cellnet, 1993 Crossed wires: Cross-dressing again, this time alongside Ronnie Corbett (left) in aid of Cellnet

Accurist watches, 2009. If the cap fits . . . Starring in a remake of his famous 1978 watch ad, Cleese says: ‘Why I’m here, I don’t know.’ Did the money have anything to do with it, John?

Sainsbury's, 1998. Super keen — for a super fee. The supermarket had an incredible low price guarantee — but everyone there was ‘far too nice to shout about it’. Luckily, John Cleese was happy to oblige, for a fee

Cleese was even happy to be paid to advertise cigarettes in the Eighties — only to appear on TV for an anti-smoking campaign a decade later.

Does he find it embarrassing? Well, wouldn’t you? And why else would he plough this lucrative furrow with such enthusiasm abroad, where he’s been advertising pretty much anything for a nice wad of cash?

He’s full of the wonder of Denmark’s washing machines in one ad, exclaiming: ‘Thank God for Elgiganten!’ He’s done Polish bank loans and William Hill betting, Austrian branch.

My personal favourite is an advert for a sticky-looking Israeli chocolate spread called Hashachar Ha’ole. There’s a Monty Python sketch in that one, surely? Of course, the man has to earn a living. He’s not the first famous face to make a bit of money on the side from adverts. 

Bank Zachodni, Poland, 2008. Daylight robbery:  After starring as Jan Cleesowski in this ad, Cleese was laughing all the way to the bank

DirecTV, 2012. Hitting targets: Cleese takes aim at another pay day — this time advertising for U.S. cable television

William Hill, Austria, 2010. Taking a punt: What’s the betting those punishing alimony payments had something to do with his decision to appear in this ad?

It’s not as if he has stooped so low as to earn money working for dodgy Third-World dictators, like that great statesman and political visionary Tony Blair.

But must the ads look quite so tacky and desperate? Cleese really does seem to need the money, and for one simple reason: alimony. If he will keep marrying foxy young blondes, he’s going to have to keep forking out money on them — either during the marriage or after.

He’s now on wife number four, and is quite open about serial marriage being an expensive business. 

Yet he speaks of his ex-wives with a bitterness that is truly unpleasant. 

Hashachar Ha’ole Israeli spread, 2009. The one that left a bitter taste: In the year Cleese agreed to give third ex-wife Alyce Faye Eichelberger £8 million (plus £600,000 a year for the next seven years), he found himself making this bizarre advert, in which he plays an Israeli general so distracted by the delicious chocolate spread that he allows an air strike against an anonymous Middle Eastern country

Specsavers, 2016. Eyes on his cash prize: He raised eyebrows with this advert, resurrecting Basil Fawlty and recreating the scene where he smashes a car with a branch. He was accused of having ‘lost his way’ and cashing in on Fawlty Towers

He once said: ‘I wish them dead in the nicest possible way.’ Not a slow, lingering death, mind you, he added quickly. Perhaps just a tree falling on them . . . What a charmer.

His first wife, Connie Booth, bore him a daughter and starred in and co-wrote Fawlty Towers. This was what propelled Cleese to superstardom. The Monty Python stuff was just an eccentric and often not very funny sideshow — though two of the movies, the Holy Grail and Life Of Brian, are comedy masterpieces.

And he is sometimes filled with resentment for his former colleagues, too. After Terry Gilliam bluntly said he found the dismayingly unfunny (though highly lucrative) Monty Python reunion tours ‘depressing’, Cleese snapped back that Gilliam had ‘been engaged in a life-long struggle with reality . . . and losing’.

And this touchy, humourless old sourpuss is supposed to be tickling and cajoling us into buying Old London Melba Toast? If he thinks that’s connecting with reality, he’s crackers!