'I remember my mum crying': Budding model, 17, opens up about devastating battle with anorexia that left her so sick her 'skin was ripping'
- Phoebe was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa at just 15 years old
- She was admitted to Westmead Children's hospital for five weeks
- The now 17-year-old had a BMI of 12 and was in danger of her heart stopping
- The budding model hopes to encourage young girls to reach out for help
Phoebe is a Sydney-based professional dancer and budding model who suffered from a debilitating eating disorder at just 15.
She was admitted to Westmead Children's Hospital and diagnosed with anorexia but 'didn't admit to having it until the end' of her stint there.
Now 17-year-old Phoebe, who follows a vegan lifestyle and no longer feels 'guilty' about food, is encouraging other sufferers to get help 'before your freedom is taken away'.
'Hospital was absolutely the worse experience of my life,' Phoebe told Daily Mail Australia.
Phoebe is now a budding fashion model using her Instagram platform to encourage other girls with a mental illness to get help
'I was admitted through emergency and only then was I diagnosed with anorexia nervosa.
'I was dangerously underweight with a BMI of 12 (under 18.5 is considered very underweight), at risk of my heart stopping, and had terribly low blood pressure.
'I was being fed through a tube that went up my nose down the back of my throat and into my stomach (nasogastric tube). This tube stayed there for the whole five weeks I was admitted.
'My stay in hospital was hard. I was only allowed to see my family from 3-8pm each day but I had hardly any visits as it was very far away from where I live.
'Over the five weeks I suffered with severe depression, anxiety, vomiting, constant nosebleeds, chest pain, 25 blood tests sometimes two to three a day, my skin was so dry it was ripping, high temperatures from having the flu, tube fed every night that was over 1000 calories plus eating six times a day.
The obsession with food began at just 14: Changing schools and trying to make new friends 'definitely didn't help' with her eating disorder
'My mum decided to pull me out of there once I was at a stable weight... Hospital was horrible but necessary, my weight restored and it was so bad that I will never go back,' she said.
As a rising star and performing arts student, Phoebe's whole day previously 'revolved around exercising and thinking about food and calories.'
'When I was in my depths of my eating disorder I was so very miserable,' she said.
'It started when I was around 14 but didn’t get really bad until I was 15. I started to eat only "healthy" foods. I was going to the extreme... I mean like putting every single fruit and vegetable in a smoothie (zucchini , spinach, kale with a fruit smoothie).
'As I started getting further into the depths of my eating disorder I started to cut out a lot more food and exercise way too much for the amount I was eating.'
Phoebe received a scholarship at the Australian Performing Arts Grammar School (APGS).
She said changing schools and trying to make new friends 'definitely didn't help' with her eating disorder.
'I started to eat "raw till 4" and would only eat fruit until dinner which meant I was not getting nearly enough calories,' she said.
'I was really struggling, so I left APGS and started doing online distance education. Since I was at home all day I had more time to exercise and prepare food.
'I wasn’t socialising, I didn’t leave the house, I went through a stage where I didn’t even want to go to dancing.
'It was winter and I was wearing very baggy clothes. I feel as though that’s why not so many people noticed,' the 17-year-old said.
It wasn't until a dancing competition that required a costume of shorts and a crop top revealed her body and 'everyone starting noticing how thin I was.'
'I remember my mum crying that afternoon and everyone coming up and talking to her while I was in complete denial,' Phoebe explained.
That's when, her body giving up, Phoebe was admitted to hospital. But the lonely and difficult five weeks she spent there has encouraged her to keep the weight on.
'As soon as I left hospital I was so afraid of going back that I knew I had to keep the weight up. Also by my parents setting goals of weights until I was able to dance again pushed me to get healthy.
One day at a time: 'I still do get bad thoughts but to think of how far I’ve come in the past year and a half makes me extremely proud,' she said
'I still do get bad thoughts but to think of how far I’ve come in the past year and a half makes me extremely proud,' she said.
Phoebe is now represented by Busy models and has a much different relationship with food and her body.
'Food is fuel. Do not be scared of it,' she said,
'Also being vegan has helped me as my eating is not harming anyone else.
'Admitting to having an eating disorder is extremely hard but beating it early and while you still have freedom will be a lot easier than being forced against your will later,' she said
'Admitting to having an eating disorder is extremely hard but beating it early and while you still have freedom will be a lot easier than being forced against your will later.
'Please if you are struggling out there contact the Butterfly Foundation.
'Anorexia Nervosa is not who I am it is something that I went through, something I had to deal with and continue to deal with and be aware of not to go back there.
'The more people that are open about having an eating disorder the easier it will be to realise that you have it and that you can beat it,' she said.
If this article brings up any issues for you please contact the Butterfly Foundation on 1800 33 4673.
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