'You have a distorted view of yourself': Lily Collins explains how her role as an anorexia sufferer enabled her to see how she looked to others when she struggled with the disorder in the past

  • The 28-year-old actress opened up about her role in To The Bone on Monday
  • Lily, who once suffered from anorexia, plays Ellen, a woman going through treatment for the disorder in the upcoming Netflix movie
  • In one scene, Ellen is confronted by her stepmother who takes a photo of her while she's on the scale and asks: 'Do you think this is beautiful?'
  • Carrie Preston, who plays the stepmother, actually took a picture of the actress
  • During her struggle with the eating disorder, Lily's perception of her body was distorted, so this was a moment of truth 

By Clemence Michallon For Dailymail.com

Published: 17:28 EST, 16 May 2017 | Updated: 17:47 EST, 16 May 2017

As a former anorexia sufferer, Lily Collins had an emotional experience playing a young woman affected by the disorder - and one particular scene became a poignant moment of truth.

The 28-year-old actress reflected on her role in To The Bone, an upcoming Netflix movie that debuted at Sundance earlier this year, in a new interview with Refinery29 published Monday.

In the drama, Lily plays 20-year-old Ellen, an artist who goes through treatment while wrestling with anorexia. The part hit close to home for the actress, who struggled with a crippling eating disorder through her teenage years.

Opening up: Lily Collins explained in an interview Monday how playing the part of an anorexic woman made her reflect on her own past struggles with an eating disorder

Opening up: Lily Collins explained in an interview Monday how playing the part of an anorexic woman made her reflect on her own past struggles with an eating disorder

One scene led to a moment of clarity for Lily and enabled her to finally realize how drastically the illness had affected her appearance.

The actress, who lost significant weight for the part - and worked with professionals to make sure it didn't trigger a relapse - was playing a scene in which Ellen is confronted by her stepmother about her worrying physique.

Lily was nervous about taping the scene, but didn't think it would affect her as much as it did.

At that point in the movie, Ellen has to take off her clothes and step on a scale. Her stepmother, played by actress Carrie Preston, then takes a photo of the young woman with her phone, shows it to her and asks: 'This is what you look like. Do you think this is beautiful?'

While shooting the scene, Carrie took an actual photo of Lily, the actress told Refinery29, explaining that she wasn't expecting the move.

Important part: The 28-year-old actress reflected on her role in To The Bone, an upcoming Netflix movie in which she plays a young artist going through treatment for anorexia

Important part: The 28-year-old actress reflected on her role in To The Bone, an upcoming Netflix movie in which she plays a young artist going through treatment for anorexia

Getting ready: The actress also recounted how she prepared for the role by meeting with an Anorexic Anonymous group and talking to the head of an eating disorder clinic
Careful: As for the physical changes, she relied on her team to make sure she lost weight without returning to unhealthy habits

Getting ready: The actress also recounted how she prepared for the role by meeting with an Anorexic Anonymous group and talking to the head of an eating disorder clinic

Seeing that picture enabled the actress to see herself with a clarity she lacked while in the throws of her eating disorder, which made it impossible for her to have an accurate perception of her body.

'It's very rare when you're in the disorder that you can actually see what other people see,' she said. 'You have a distorted view of yourself and you get so sucked into it that you don't see yourself in that way, and I was so shocked by her showing me.'

The scene rang true for Lily, who found herself trying to answer her co-star's question as if it was addressed to herself, not her character. 

'I was really living in that moment, the question of, do you think this is beautiful. Like, do you see yourself? I really saw it and it was so disturbing,' she added.

'It was a moment that I think really resonated a lot, not just as Ellen, but really as myself because I was actually seeing myself. It was a really powerful moment that I was shocked by.'

Personal: The part hit close to home for the actress (pictured with her co-star Keanu Reeves), who struggled with a crippling eating disorder through her teenage years

Personal: The part hit close to home for the actress (pictured with her co-star Keanu Reeves), who struggled with a crippling eating disorder through her teenage years

Spreading the word: Lily and her co-stars, who also include Keanu Reeves, previously starred in a video educating the public about eating disorders
Precautions: 'I was being held accountable by multiple people, having a nutritionist give me a schedule with supplements, a lot of supplements that would basically give my body what I wasn't going to be getting from certain foods,' the actress said of preparing for her role

Spreading the word: Lily and her co-stars, who also include Keanu Reeves, previously starred in a video educating the public about eating disorders

The actress also recounted how she prepared for the role by meeting with an Anorexic Anonymous group and talking to the head of an eating disorder clinic.

As for the physical changes, she relied on her team to make sure she lost weight without returning to unhealthy habits.

'I was being held accountable by multiple people, having a nutritionist give me a schedule with supplements, a lot of supplements that would basically give my body what I wasn't going to be getting from certain foods,' she said.

'My energy levels weren't at a point at all where I forgot lines. I was never late, I was never overly tired. I was very on, but she wanted to make sure that my body was still getting the sustenance it needed to get through the experience because I was hired as an actor.' 

Lily and her co-stars, who also include Keanu Reeves, previously starred in a video educating the public about eating disorders. The clip, made to mark last year's World Eating Disorders Action Day, challenged stereotypes about the illnesses and warned viewers about their scope and consequences.

Comments 11

Share what you think

  View all

The comments below have been moderated in advance.

  View all

The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

We are no longer accepting comments on this article.