Actor T.J. Miller's wife Kate speaks out against viral headline praising her for 'making a name for herself' in the art world - without actually mentioning her name

  • Artist Kate Miller, nee Gorney, is married to Silicon Valley's T.J.
  • A headline last month, which earned criticism, read: 'TJ Miller's wife making a name for herself in New York'
  • Kate has now spoken out about the problem that 'too often accomplished women are defined singularly by their marriages'
  • 'When we choose to marry and take our husband's name, we do not choose to forfeit our identity nor accomplishments earned in our own right,' she said 

By Carly Stern For Dailymail.com

Published: 16:32 EDT, 10 July 2017 | Updated: 16:32 EDT, 10 July 2017

Artist Kate Miller, who is married to Silicon Valley actor T.J. Miller, is more than just a celebrity's wife — she has an identity and accomplishments in her own right.

Which is why she was frustrated last month when a headline in the New York Post mentioned her husband's name and not her own — even though the story was actually about her and her work as an artist.

Kate is now speaking out to Refinery29 about the attention-grabbing headline and the sexist way society still diminishes women.

Independent woman: Artist Kate Miller has spoken out about a viral headline that referred to her as 'TJ Miller's wife'

Independent woman: Artist Kate Miller has spoken out about a viral headline that referred to her as 'TJ Miller's wife'

But wait! The New York Post headline, which only named the Silicon Valley star and not the actual subject of the piece, was mocked online

But wait! The New York Post headline, which only named the Silicon Valley star and not the actual subject of the piece, was mocked online

The viral headline originally appeared in the Post on June 24. It read: 'TJ Miller's wife making a name for herself in New York.'

Quickly, the headline gained attention, with people pointing out how ironic it was that the Post would claim she is 'making a name for herself' without actually using her name.

'I've never seen a one sentence headline contradict itself,' wrote comedian Ari Fishbein in a tweet that has been liked a quarter of a million times — including by TJ Miller.

While the sad irony of the headline — which, since the negative public reaction, has been rewritten — might be somewhat humorous, to Kate and many others it was also a reminder of the way women are still seen as 'belonging' to their husbands throughout much of society. 

Not right: The Post has since updated the headline, and Kate is speaking out about the way 'accomplished women are defined singularly by their marriages'

Not right: The Post has since updated the headline, and Kate is speaking out about the way 'accomplished women are defined singularly by their marriages'

'I was both overwhelmed by and grateful for the outpouring of support in response to something that had become so normalized for me — the idea that many women are seen as nothing more than their husband's wife,' Kate said. 

'It made me think about representations of married women in the press, and how many people share my experience of being defined only in relationship to their significant other.'

Too often accomplished women are defined singularly by their marriages, to the point where they are literally written off and their successes and descriptions diminished
Kate Miller 

As Kate pointed out, she is hardly the first person to receive the 'so-and-so's wife' treatment.

In fact, she remembers a 2016 headline about Olympic trapshooter Corey Cogdell  (in the Chicago Tribune, which was widely criticized afterward) reading 'Wife of Chicago Bears Linesman Wins Olympic Bronze Medal' — her medal still seemingly not making her deserving of standalone recognition, independent of her husband.

Graça Machel — a Dame of the British Empire and famous politician and humanitarian — faced something similar with another headline that Kate remembers: 'Nelson Mandela's widow hitting back at xenophobia in South Africa.' 

'It's hard to find yourself in someone else's shadow. But it's more than that,' she explained. 

'When we choose to marry and take our husband's name, we do not choose to forfeit our identity nor accomplishments earned in our own right. And we should not be expected to stand by quietly as society does just that.' 

Her own woman: She said that she isn't complaining about her husband's fame and is grateful for the ways in which it has been good to her, but she still deserves respect

Her own woman: She said that she isn't complaining about her husband's fame and is grateful for the ways in which it has been good to her, but she still deserves respect

You tell 'em! When women marry, she said, 'we do not choose to forfeit our identity nor accomplishments earned in our own right'

You tell 'em! When women marry, she said, 'we do not choose to forfeit our identity nor accomplishments earned in our own right'

She went on to note that she is not complaining about him being a celebrity. In fact, she acknowledges that his his fame has given her a larger audience for her art.  

And when it's just the two of them, his celebrity doesn't diminish her. She said she loves being married to T.J., since together they are equals, a team.

'Our relationship is based on mutual respect, humor, growth, and transparency. We support and contribute equally to each other's work. We are each other's muse,' she said.

But the problem comes when her identity gets swallowed up in his, and she is no longer treated as an individual.

'What I take issue with, however, is the idea that being a celebrity's wife translates into being just that: "T.J. Miller's wife,"' she said. 'Too often accomplished women are defined singularly by their marriages, to the point where they are literally written off and their successes and descriptions diminished.' 

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