'I went into a severe depression': Ellen DeGeneres reveals she was the victim of bullying in Hollywood when she came out in 1997
She's been happily married to wife Portia de Rossi since 2008.
But Ellen DeGeneres has opened up on the cruel bullying she faced from some of her Hollywood peers when she first came out as gay back in 1997,
The chat show host, actress and producer, 59, revealed she feel into a 'severe depression' as she struggled to cope with the attention surrounding her personal life during a new interview with theÂ September issue ofÂ Good HousekeepingÂ magazine.Â
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Killing with kindness:Â Ellen DeGeneres has opened up on the cruel bullying she faced from some of her Hollywood peers when she first came out as gay back in 1997
Ellen explained: 'The bullying I endured [in Hollywood] after I came out made up for the lack of it during my childhood. I canâ€™t believe I came back from that point.
'I moved out of LA, went into a severe depression, started seeing a therapist and had to go on antidepressants for the first time in my life.Â Â
'It was scary and lonely. All I'd known for 30 years was work, and all of a sudden I had nothing. Plus, I was mad. It didn't feel fair - I was the same person everyone had always known.
'I can't believe where my life is now. I donâ€™t know what people are saying about me, and I donâ€™t want to know, because I donâ€™t care.Â My motto is, "I do my best. You can be with me or not".'
Tough time: The chat show host, 59, revealed she feel into a 'severe depression' as she struggled to cope with the attention surrounding her personal life
Lucky in love: The actress has been happily married to former Ally McBeal star Portia de Rossi, 44, since 2008 (pictured together in January)Â
Eventually, Ellen found exercise and meditation helped with her battle with depression, explaining: 'Eventually I started meditating, working out and writing again, and I slowly started to climb out of it.Â
'I can't believe I came back from that point. I can't believe where my life is now.'Â
The 59 Daytime Emmy Award-winning television host further explained her struggles with acceptance in and out of the industry.Â
'When I was coming out, someone gave me the Martha Graham quote "There is only one of you in all time. Youâ€™re unique, and youâ€™re supposed to be"', the star said.
'I took in that message. I always remember it. Itâ€™s not up to me to question why, who or how I am. I just accept who I am, and I donâ€™t judge myself.'Â Â
Lovely ladies: DeGeneres married actress Portia de Rossi in 2008 after four years of dating
As one of Hollywood's most powerful women, Ellen learned at a young age that it was easy and important to practice kindness.Â
She added: 'I grew up in a pretty religious family, and the one thing I heard every Sunday was "Do unto others as youâ€™d have them do unto you".
'To me, still, thatâ€™s the golden rule to live by, and itâ€™s not something to work at, either. Itâ€™s just the way we should live.
'If we donâ€™t, itâ€™s chaos... Anger and aggression weaken you, because they take so much energy to hold in place, but kindness is a strength [that] makes you more serene.'
DeGeneres married actress Portia De Rossi, 44, in 2008 after nearly four years of dating.Â
Happiness: Ellen said her wife understands her 'completely'Â
Â The September issue of Good Housekeeping hits newsstands on August 15
She said to Good Housekeeping of the union: 'She understands me completely.Â
'She loves me for everything that I am. She supports me and makes me happy.'
As the funny woman approaches her 60th birthday in January, she explained that it's a difficult pill to swallow.Â
'In some ways, that number doesnâ€™t even compute,' DeGeneres said. 'I canâ€™t even believe Iâ€™m going to be 60 - Iâ€™m so immature; Iâ€™m like a child.Â
'I know this: Iâ€™m kind. Iâ€™m a good person to work with and for.Â
'Iâ€™m putting on a great show that Iâ€™m proud of and that makes people feel good. I just try to be the best person I can be.'
TheÂ September issue of Good Housekeeping hits newsstands on August 15.
Talented: The 59 Daytime Emmy Award-winning host further explained her struggles with acceptance in and out of the industry (pictured on her show with Mark Wahlberg)
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